Letters from India

3. Seva Conference - Nov 20, 1984

Seva Conference - Nov 20, 1984

November 20, 1984   Prasanthi Nilayam

Hello Family,

Everything’s find here! My letters must seem so hollow because the experience here, you wouldn’t believe. It just can't be put into words. I think you all understand…

19 November Monday: Went to workshops all day, the ones for foreign delegates - I'm talking no Darshans, just sitting in classrooms from 9 AM to 6 PM. Talk of loving all, serving all. Many ideas on seva projects discussed, inner meaning of seva; ideas and suggestions.

Afterwards, at night, we found out there was going to be a movie on Baba in the ashram, in sheds 18, 19 and 20 (there are around 25 sheds, huge ole’ things, which devotees stay in when there isn't enough room in the many ashram buildings; the sheds are currently packed with seva delegates from all over India). Now that seemed odd to me, a movie on Sai in the very ashram where Sai Himself was staying! I went but the place was packed, no room.

Anyway, I couldn’t stand it. I went to the real place where the “real” physical form of Sai was, and waited. Some of Sai’s students were crawling all over the Mandir (temple), replacing lights and arranging them just so (you should see the Mandir at night – it looks like a Christmas tree!) (Can you believe this is me talking about being in Sai‘s ashram?? It‘s like dream!). Finally, of course compassionate Sai came out to check on the lights, granting a Darshan to the 20 or so of us watching outside. The clear night, the Christmas tree-like Mandir, and the physical form of Baba on the balcony – Ahh! (I hope I'm not boring you all!)

20 November Tuesday: Today I had a dream where I was in a car with Sai. He handed me a gift, it looked like a stack of papers. I looked through them and realized that these were all the things I had asked Sai for over the years, that he granted. It was really touching.

9 AM – in the Poornachandra hall. Reports given from the workshops. Sai was present for the first 2½ speakers. I was 1st by His walking carpet (middle of hall), so when He first came in and walked up the carpet to give Darshan, I was right there. Like, less than a foot in front of me. YUM.

4-6 PM: bhajan for all in the Poornachandra. Sai came and went, came and stayed. He would sit on the edge of the platform (not on the chair set up for Him) and tap His fingers, sway to the music. Everyone just soaked up His Presence for so long. He came out just as “Sai Hare, Sai Baba Hare…” (the song you like Maha, the last on the ‘Birthday bhajans 1980’ tape) was starting. That was beautiful, there was so much power. Here we were singing, “You are Allah, Iswara, Everything…” and there was IT, Sai Himself, sitting there in human form! Wow.

I had an experience: as the singing was going on, I suddenly felt Sai growing and growing, encompassing the whole hall. Then He entered into each one’s heart, the Living Sai, and began to grow and grow in their hearts. Sai was everywhere; total Energy was everywhere. Bhajans with Sai are an experience in Cosmic Energy, Love, Unity, and Realization.

6:30-8 PM: After dinner (which wasn’t much cuz how could anyone eat after all the Sai-experiences??) we all at the Jr. College (only foreign delegates, all others were at Prasanthi Nilayam or other schools nearby) got a far-off Darshan: Sai was watching a dance/march program by His school boys, at the Hill View Stadium behind the Jr. College. No one was allowed there to watch but we got to see it from our building - an orange dot was Sai.

Let me give you the village scene, which we have to see every time we go to the ashram (this will change after the Conference. We’ll stay in the ashram and won't even have to come out to the village): beggars drag themselves across the dusty dirt road, holding out their hands for money. I doubt any of them are devotees, but they all have the same chant to squeeze money out of us: “Sai Ram Baba, Sai Ram Baba, Sai Ram Baba…” Isn't that awful? The beggars also cry out to the ladies to get their attention, “Amma, Amma, Ma” (‘Mother, mother’).

On one side of the road is the ashram wall. On the other is a whole line of Sai memorabilia shops, stacked with pictures, necklaces, rings, posters, all Sai Baba stuff. They must be rich because most Sai devotees can't resist, they shop here, even though Sai has warned many a time not to go into the village because they’re not spiritual at all there. I haven't given money to any of the beggars or shopped there, except to get postcards. I was forced to because they don’t have them in the ashram.

Baba says, “Wherever you find the brightest light, right beside it will be the deepest darkness.” How true this is even here in Prasanthi Nilayam. Do you know that there are packs of wild dogs around the ashram that have terrible fights and howl-parties daily/nightly? Inside the ashram! Together here are the lowest jungle-wolf packs and the Avatar of the age, surrounded by spiritual beings and aspirants.

21 November Wednesday: special Valedictory function for seva delegates in the Poornachandra at 10:30 AM. I got there late for line-up, at 7:50 AM (Hey, these people come early to get a good place!) and waited until 10 AM when they let us in. (“Waiting” here means sitting cross-legged on the bare ground, bodies mushed on all sides because the nearer to the door, the better).

It was crazy going in: no lines, just a mass of people on all sides all going to the same place: one small door. We all got pushed, shoved, mushed totally against each other! And on top of that, other people assured me this was nothing compared to the Birthday! I find that hard to believe. I found out there are 20,000 delegates. So here we were, 10,000 ladies in one mob all pushing to get in one small door. Crazy. It started out in lines, but people just pushed through and that was that. What can you do discipline-wise with sooo many people, all wanting to get as close as possible to the Avatar, Sai Baba?? Personally, I just went along with the crowd. I’d be totally embarrassed to face Sai if I’d pushed and shoved others to get close, because He’d know!

At 10:30 AM we were all arranged nicely in the Poornachandra and Sai came. Several people gave speeches. Sai was there throughout! Then He gave His discourse, a nice long one.

After the discourse, He sang a song, “Hari Bhajan Bina Sukha Shanti Nahi…”, a nice long song. I just can't describe in words hearing His voice singing so sweetly! :-)

After the last line, He motioned us all the keep singing the first ling over and over, faster and faster, lost in praising the Lord and experiencing His Love and Bliss. Sai closed His eyes and swayed as the voices rose louder and faster… Wow! What an experience! He then motioned us to stop and we ended the song, singing the first line slowly with Him.

I just remembered, at one point in the discourse He talked of our free use of the words “Sai Ram”. (Here, you use ‘Sai Ram’ for everything: saying hello, goodbye, excuse me, when you want to get someone’s attention, or when you accidentally hurt or bump someone - for all these people use ‘Sai Ram’!)

Sai said you should always say ‘Sai Ram’ softly and sweetly, in the kindest and most sweetest manner. Then, He showed us how to do it: He put His hands together in “Namaste” pose, put on the sweetest, most loving, compassionate look you’ll ever see in your life, and said softly, ‘Sai Ram’ that just poured loving honey-sweetness! You had to be there! The whole place was just sighing and cooing, it was like one big hunk of pure Love

After the audience calmed down, Sai then said, BUT, most people don’t say it like that, they pay no attention to the inner meaning of Sai, “SAI RAM!’ and He said it in a mean, gruff, extremely short manner! Like a gruffly old man shoving someone aside to get in front! The entire Poornachandra was hilarious for minutes and minutes!! To see Sai say it both ways, at that moment He was our dearest chum, playing with us as we laughed at our own faults.

We found out after the Poornachandra experience, that there was going to be a marching/gymnastics performance by Sai’s schoolboys (I call them “Sai’s boys” if they are going to Sai’s schools) held at the Hill View Stadium. At 3 PM people started coming for the performance at 6:30 PM. Luckily, Westerners got a special section on the bleachers next to the stage, where Sai would be watching. I got on the top row of the bleachers, a bird’s eye view of the entire area. Although when Sai came, all I could see was the top of His hair.

At 6:30 PM Sai came and it started. The music was soo funny! It was American –type, no Indian! I wondered, what does Sai think of this?? Old stuff like ‘Singing in the Rain, Crazy in Love with You (‘I am crazy, crazy in love with yooooou…’) and one boogie-type song! (All instrumental.) The boys are perfected marchers - it was amazing. They need help with the graceful gymnastics though.

Then the grand final: the most profound experience of my entire existence!! The entire stage and performance area darkened … not a light on, no one could see anything… suddenly I noticed a giant blue cloth being brought onto the field, and a large object. What could it be???

After a few minutes a few lights turned on, and in the middle of the field was a scene that could only be in a dream world – BUT IT WASN’T!! The blue cloth had some college boys underneath it – they moved, making it look like WAVES ON A SEA! In the middle, you’ll never believe! - was an actual mini-boat, about 7 feet long and 4 feet high. Lights were flashing on and off the boat, and over the loudspeaker came the words: “In this worldly ocean, the boat of our life is tossed to and fro…” you couldn’t hear anything after that, the crowds were going CRAZY with glee: you guys, SAI BABA HIMSELF WAS IN THE BOAT!!! He was waving and waving at us! In that moment, each and every person had the living Sai, the Lord, in their heart. He was taking the boat of their life and bearing its burden, leaving us free!

That experience was something I’d never, ever, ever expect on this physical plane! Imagine, it was a message to all the Lord will always be there, helping and guiding, calming the boat of our lives! The lights then all came on and we could see Sai clearly, smiling and waving. What an experience, what a message! All present were so blessed to be there, to experience this message to mankind from the Lord Himself, whew! Everyone in the field was One that night, one in heart and mind. All were children of the One God, who watches over and loves all.

Love,

Eileen