Letters from India

49. Americans in Brindavan - Easter 1986

Americans in Brindavan

Easter 1986

Whitefield, Karnataka

Dear Family,

Bhagavan left Puttaparthi and came to Brindavan ashram on March 12. I took the devotee bus and arrived that evening. Next day was Thursday, bhajan day. When Sai came for Darshan, He was so close, friendly - blessing and talking. He turned into sweet Krishna – different form Prasanthi Nilayam and “Bhagavan” – the stern God! Then there was Narayana seva, feeding of the less fortunate. There were rows of not more than 10 villagers each. He served the first few then disappeared behind the gates leading to His residence.

The next day, March 14th, He called in the group of Argentines for interview. As they went, He continued Darshan. He walked straight up to my friend Barbara. She told me later she was going to ask for “Padnamaskar” but what came out was, “Me too, Swami?” Meaning can she go in with the Argentina group! (In Puttaparthi, a small American group had “sneaked” in with the Argentina group. Inside the interview room Sai looked at Barbara and said, “Where are you from?” She said, “America” and He answered, “Mistake!”) So sweetly He asked her, “Where are you from?” She answered, “America.” He said, “Noooo - only Argentina group now. America next.”

We wondered what that meant! So Barbara started an American list, but no banana. But, He did call two couples from New York a few days later, maybe that’s what He meant by “America next.”

On the 15th, I got front row. Sai talked a long time to a lady beside me, an Indian. I brought my central alter picture to Darshan, thinking maybe I’d have Him sign it. When He came by, He paused and looked twice at the picture (it’s of Sai, the Mandir in Prasanthi Nilayam and Ganesha), then He blessed it, placing His whole hand on it. Then He allowed me to touch His feet.

Every day, lines are at 8:15 AM. Swami usually comes 9:15 or 9:30 AM. Then He goes in, and it’s finished for the day. Usually He picks no one for interviews. I stay at the tree mediating until 11 or 11:30. Then lunch, and doing projects - reading, washing clothes, writing, cleaning, rest, until 3 PM, when I got to the tree to meditate. At 5 PM, Swami comes out of His residence to talk a bit to His college boys, and to call them in for bhajans. From far off, they allow the ladies (and men, in a different area) to watch Swami inside the closed iron gates, talking to the boys. We can make out an orange figure with a puff of black hair, that’s all, but it’s worth it – it’s the Avatar, God Himself! He’s out for five to twenty minutes. Then I stay at the tree meditating along with the 100 or 150 people who also come for this evening “gate Darshan” until dusk – 6 PM, when they close the compound until morning.

All is fine here. :-) I am healthy and happy and at home, as usual. :-) Why be anywhere else than in the Presence of the Lord? Happy, holy Easter 1986!

Much Love,

Eileen

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Long Stares – Rare Treat!

April 6, 1986

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Parents,

Swami left Brindavan ashram and returned to Parthi on Saturday, 5th April.

More than once I’ve had strong inclination to return and serve the family. But Sai remains silent. I know Sai gives what one wants – my heart is crying to stay here, but my strong senses of dharma suggests that to go back would be better. But that is my feeling of attachment to “kith and kin” as Sai calls it. My family here is really larger. Sai seems to be listening and granting the desire of my heart. I can only pray and trust that if it is Sai’s will that I return to you, then He will tell me in a clear way, and otherwise, that it is His wish and will that I remain in Bharath with Him.

On the 29th, there was an ill elderly lady in a parked car. Sai came to her – the sight of Sai leaning into the car door to talk to the ones inside, how compassionate – how loving! Also on this day, He gave a long “deer-Darshan”, spending a lot of time with the deer (which are kept inside his compound), feeding and playing with them.

Easter Sunday was beautiful Darshan – there were all-day bhajans as usual, but no special programs. Sai spend a lot of time going around giving Darshan – He seemed to give looks to all. I received some long stares – rare treat!

On the 4th He walked by me close (I was front row) and gave a loving glance to me (as if saying, “Ah, you’re still here! Good, all is well”).

For the return to Puttaparthi! I took devotee bus; it arrived in time for evening Darshan. I couldn’t help being amazed at the complete, startling change that “came over Him”. He was “Bhagavan” again – harsh, stern, unsmiling, God. He didn’t have the least expression of affection. After Brindavan, it was almost unbelievable how He could return the “uncaring” expression for so long, without breaking into an expression of love! Symbolizing the discipline of the jnana and bhakthi paths, I guess, disciplined Prasanthi Nilayam, hello! I like both though, and feel comfortable in both Prasanthi and Brindavan.

Thanks again for all your love and caring. Om Sri Sathya Sai Ram!

Love,

Eileen