Letters from India

94. With Mary Naidu in Whitefield - Oct 1988

With Mary Naidu in Whitefield

October 1988

Whitefield, Karnataka

Dear Peoples,

Sai Ram! Swami left Prasanthi Nilayam and arrived in Brindavan on October 23rd.

Barbara was an extremely good mother to me.  Saying I shouldn’t wear certain saris that had holes, giving advice and codes of conduct that sometimes I don’t pay attention to. She also gave me sweets and her extra food, and even spoke some Telugu with me!

Anyway, there is on VIP Telugu lady who I help rarely but sometimes, writing letters for her in Telugu or English (her eyes aren’t good). She was some important person in government, working with Indra Gandhi. She’s been with Swami for many, many years. He’s given her a room in Prasanthi Nilayam, and a small house in Brindavan (on property Swami owns, although out of the Brindavan compound). Her name is Mary Naidu.

This Mary Naidu (MN) stays in the house with Geetha and her mother, when Sai comes to Whitefield. This time, Geetha’s mother is very ill so Geetha couldn’t come. MN begged me to stay with her in the house, because she’s afraid of staying alone (although she has a small servant girl with her). So, what could I do but agree.

It is OK here, although they talk a lot in Telugu about household matters (I don’t know how Mary Naidu fills so much time with “Do that,” “Do this,” “You do nothing well,” etc.) I stay in Geetha’s section of the house. I'm being fed and there’s no rent, so I'm saving money. It’s a bit of a tapas also, but I suppose one must take all with equanimity, so if I must have tests it’s good I have them here.

Venkamma had been very kind to me before I left, giving a lot of food for the trip, even Swami’s prasad – which gave me deja-vu of the other one who used to give me prasad (although Venkamma doesn’t cook for Swami, her daughter-in-law does, and sends to Venkamma daily).

I had an interesting dream of Parvatamma, don’t know if it means anything. In the dream Parvatamma had come from a place where she was living, I was near to her but she was ignoring me and not too favorable (like she is to me in “real life”). Then I touched her feet – suddenly her attitude changed and she was very nice to me. She was saying it was fine if I came and visited her, she was living not with Swami but in a far, far, far away place, in the middle of a darkish ocean on an island, all completely alone. She suddenly became happy that someone would come and visit her – and she was accepting of me. In the dream I didn’t know if I’d go to visit her – I sort of had the feeling that if I went, she’d keep me there.

The next day, I happened to walk through a passage on my way to Ganesh (behind East Prasanthi), and happened to look up and realize that it was her kitchen window! It was early morning and dark. She had the light on in the kitchen and she was there, working silently alone at cooking Sai’s food – concentrating. She didn’t see me. I thought, what an eerie sight, and strange. Later that day I happened to walk by her room and looked to see her sitting on the verandah. I did ‘namaksar’ with my hands but she only looked away. In that moment I somehow felt that she’d never change her mind about me, she would never accept me again.

Swami is giving Darshan every morning, and bhajan every evening. We’re disappointed to see that Swami is skipping the two aisles of ladies, and only going to the main Krishna aisle (going around small circle). Still it’s nice to see Him, for two weeks I hadn’t been in Darshan lines (because of the festival) so it’s a pleasant shock to see the avatar close again. :-) (Although front lines are not really available, and He skips front lines mostly.)

Parvatamma is again ill, her eyes are watering profusely. Swami sent her here to Whitefield, two days before He arrived. We happened to be near each other going into the hall for the first bhajan, she happened to look at me but quickly looked away with an angry expression.

One nice side-benefit of living with Mary Naidu is Swami gave her a lingam and every day she does puja and abhishekam, and gives me some of the water.  The lingam is clear, blue-ish with a big eye on it. Sai told her to put drops in her eyes from the lingam water. She says, “See, you can see my eyes on the lingam.” It’s called ‘Netra lingam’. (‘Netra’ means ‘eye in Telugu.) Anyway, MN is forcing me to eat thrice daily – a big change! I have no chance to refuse as it will make her upset – you know Indians. They give me upma and coffee for breakfast (you know my choice is idlee and tea), rice & veggie for lunch (with fruit desert – banana or guava). and bread for dinner.

There are so many foreigners here now. Swami is mostly granting to me last and near to last lines, and hasn’t looked me yet. I'm happy to give front rows to new people but I hope that the bad lines are not because Sai is angry with me, you never know with Him although everything seems alright in my view.

(Oct 30th) Swami is coming to the ladies aisles now. I was a bit worried that maybe He was angry with me so He gave me front row yesterday. As He went by I broke my usual silence with Him, and prayed inside, “Swami! I hope you’re not angry with me! Are you angry or upset with me?” as He went by he said very, very sweetly and softly, “No, no, no.”

I suppose this is a test of Swami, it’s a new experience being a “bhogi” eating thrice daily (including two coffees a day!) and getting 9 hours or more) of sleep. I hope I'm passing the test and taking it equal-mindedly, though I prefer tapas.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya