Letters from India

35. Kharagpur & Travel to Vrindaban - July 1985

Kharagpur & Travel to Vrindaban

July 10-15, 1985

Vrindaban, UP

Dear Weeds,

I left Puri at 6 PM on the 10th. The train had the most spiritual, friendly vibrations that I’ve ever experienced, odd cuz outwardly, it looked like an ordinary, packed Indian train. I planned to go from Kharagpur (West Bengal) the transferring place, to Ranchi, then to Varanasi – this time with Lahiri’s parlor’s address (which I would get in Ranchi – they told me it verbally in Calcutta but I didn’t write it down). Unfortunately, the train was a sleeper-less one again. By the time I arrived in Kharagpur, 2:30 AM, I was pretty fed up with the inconveniences of travel I was having to endure (karma, karma). I slept 2½ hours on the waiting room floor – getting bitten by pincher-bugs (huge) and those tiny biting ants that abound in India, ugh.

Then I tromped off via rickshaw to find a hotel – only a few seedy-looking ones in the whole town, and they were filled anyway. I planned to forget any more travel, stay in Kharagpur & rest a day or two, then go straight to Mathura.

No matter how I tried to convince my mind, it just didn’t seem like I was supposed to visit Lahiri’s place. I couldn’t feel his blessing on the plan at all. How can I knowingly go against him? So in accordance with this feeling, I'm not going.

As no luck with hotel, I returned downtrodden to the train station – all the train station retiring rooms were of course full – so I set up camp in the waiting room, planning to catch next (2 AM) train to Mathura.

It is definately monsoon season, it rained a few times coming to Kharagpur, and it is raining here too. Rained when I was in Sri Yukteswarji’s Puri ashram, delaying my departure - too bad! :-)

I kept asking for a retiring room - me, a  young, white lady alone, looking sad, tired and exhausted, and finally at 10 PM the authorities gave me the keys to a retiring room, and I therefore decided to spend the night, getting a good night’s sleep, and then leaving for Mathura the next day at 2 AM. It was a huge room with four beds, I think they must have emptied it out just for me!

Before, during the day, I attempted to sleep in the waiting room and boy was that awful. The place is teeming with mosquitoes and crickets, which must all be ardent devotees of Sri Ganesha, judging by the way they ignore all obstacles (like saris and petticoats) to get to the warm flesh and human blood. In a few hours I had been bitten from head to foot, itching all over, and still - paying no attention even to the obstacle of bug repellent ointment – they continued to bite.

My nerves were frayed almost to the breaking point, seeing the Indian countryside I could, indeed, do for a very long time; but the experience of traveling itself, no! One month seems to be my limit. Or maybe my being away from home, Prasanthi Nilayam, limit is reached. Over two months now, can you believe it? It seems like years.

All day, the 12th, I pretty much rested. I wasn’t going to be caught tired & exhausted in a sleeper-less car again! I felt on edge, eager to get back to Mathura. Goodbye (maybe forever) Orissa, West Bengal, Jammu & Kashmir and Punjab! Welcome me back UP, and usher me safely back into the arms of the Nilayam. Andhra Pradesh is waiting! 

Left on the 13th at 2:30 AM. I need not mention that I had to stay in the waiting room for the last four hours before my train came – getting devoured by mosquitoes. Help me Lord! What to do?

All day 13th we were traveling along the lush, tropical zones of northern Madhya Pradesh. Beautiful scenery. My eyes soaked up the sights of India. Had enjoyable day.

Yes I got a sleeper car. Slept veeery well. :-)

The 14th (8th month anniversary of first seeing the Avatar Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki JAI!). We rode past some comparatively dreary scenery. Raining on & off every day now, in-between the sun shines and it’s hot. Innocent rains, not like the Delhi storms I experienced in early June.

11:30 AM found our arrival in Mathura – there I engaged a tonga squished in with four other people (Indians) and tons of luggage, to Vrindaban. Arrival at the ISKON Mandir, greeted old friends, got three letters and got a room in the guest house.

I'm staying three days here, 14th, 15th & 16th, then onto Bangalore. It’s nice here – though I'm probably just saying that because I'm so close to returning to Parthi, and in seeing the Lord of all Creation, Sai! So everything’s nice, for every minute is bringing me closer to that meeting. :-)

I am trying to only live in the moment (meaning up to seeing Sai and being in Prasanthi Nilayam!), yet I also have a bit of fear over my fate. I should learn by now the art of trusting in the Lord and leaving it all up to Him. Heaven knows how this lesson has been taught to me, so many times and in so many ways, during my stay in India!

Anyway, here I am now – again thrown into the world of “Hare Krishna, Hare Rama.” Changed so much, I don’t even know myself anymore, don’t know my thoughts. It’s as if my mind has been sooo tossed by teachings and stuffed with realizations and knowledge, so overwhelming, that I feel I need a big SIGH and a break before continuing. My mind is up to the “Enough!” point again, the last time was right before leaving Prasanthi – after Kodai and Ooty, I felt if I received any more Blessings, I would burst. Even seeing Him was hard – just Him walking by – even if I was in the last row and He ignored me, was a test in endurance. Soo much Divine Love! I couldn’t take it. Now, returning, maybe the Darshan of the Lord will be a cure and not the cause, of this mental exhaustion. I feel as if I'm being put through the “airplane route” without Kriya! Spinning at intense speed, the different complexities of individual karma! Ugh!

It seems that my bug-experience at Khargpur in West Bengal was not unique. Vrindaban is teeming with bugs! They’re all over the place! Last night my whole floor was submerged in bugs – flying and crawling creatures. Grasshoppers hopped merrily around my room; flying bugs shed their wings at my feet and became crawling bugs; armies of large and small ants carried off dead beetles and other bugs. What is this?! Some sort of odd twist in the rainy season? Ahhh yes, when all the bugs of the area retreat out of the rain to the dry nearby buildings! Well what to do but let nature be Nature.

All for now, I’ll write soon of my soon-to-be adventures in Prasanthi Nilayam! :-)

Much Love,

Eileen