Living in Sin (On Hold)

Forty Two _ Crashed

“How many times have I told you?” I turned away, exasperated. “Do not trust them!”

“I-I thought this time they really wanted to … ….” She trailed off and I looked again to find her digging the toe of her cross-trainer into the concrete floor, eyes downcast and fingers twisting the hem of her shirt.

And her being afraid of me wasn’t something I could stand. Not for a long time now. “Come on. It’s getting cold out here.”

Taking her hand, I led us back into our room. It was still a little early but I turned off the lights. Sleepy Hollows had been already halfway in and I was already leaned back against the headboard when she walked back out of the bathroom, and the meekness with which she perched down at the edge of the bed put a smile on my face.

“Is that supposed to be you apologizing?” she looked up and at first found it hard to notice me holding back my grin. And the dumb girl still kept that lip-biting incredulous look even when I gave in and laughed first. Of course it was getting difficult for me to just sit there without doing anything to her.

She let out a surprised yelp when I grasped her hand and literally dragged her across the bed. In seconds, I was on top of her.

Every raspy breath she took was getting me hot. I leaned into the crook of her neck to breathe in her scent, our bodies becoming one. She was so … delectable: cliché, I know, but real heaven to touch. My touch.

I rose again but not entirely: my face merely inches above hers.

“I know …,” she swallowed at my unwavering gaze. As usual, it came as a real surprise to me that she hadn’t gotten used to it by now. “… I should’ve waited for you.”

“I was worried shitless. So that is not gonna cut it.” I said, following up that verdict with a smooch on her forehead. And she killed me with a blush. But if you thought I was disappointed she always acted like every kiss we shared was her first one, you thought wrong.

“I’m … really sorry?” I let out a chuckle and this time pecked her on the lips.

“Best you can do?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Seriously, Rina? Come on, you can do better than that.” I leaned down again but stopped centimeters short of her delicious petals.

And for goodness’ sake, she finally got it. Gulped and let out this angelic embarrassed smile that managed to shine in the dim light before with that traditional tentativeness closing the distance between us, connecting our souls in the only way I knew how.

“That’s more like it.” I smiled into the kiss and tried to do the impossible by mashing myself down into her more, my hands already in progress of their lecherous assault on her, earning moans every second or two.

It might’ve actually been some time we’d been kissing when she sank her head back into the mattress to pull away but I just hadn’t had enough. But my eyes fluttered open when I tried to capture her again and my lips just tasted air.

There was no one beneath me.

“See,” The whole room suddenly bright as day, I found her by the door: her face gracing a smile that was a mixture of pity and condescension. She’d paused, probably waiting for me to work out what’d just happened, which I still hadn’t achieved when she continued. “What did I tell you? All I got out of everything I’d done for you was being your personal plaything.”

Reality then stormed over me, knocking out the euphoria I’d just been in. “No.”

“Don’t deny it, Kimberley.” She scoffed. “Then again, I can’t really blame you, can I? After all, you needed ‘something’ to get over that day. Did it hurt, … … when he f*cked you?”

“NOOO!!!”  Still screaming and panting, I jolted awake to the real world. The unfamiliarity of the bed I was in and everything around me was doing nothing to help me escape the realization that … that life wasn’t worth living anymore.

“Here.”

I absentmindedly examined the glass of water and then the guy handing it to me. He sighed and sat down on the bed.

“Does this have anything to do with what happened at school today?” I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing down.

“I’m at your place.”

“Yeah, you called me, sort of. I didn’t think you could finish the day at school so I brought you here.” I wiped off the sweat from my forehead and got out of the bed. “What happened, Loh?”

“Thanks.” I muttered and in no time was at the door, opening it. Unsurprisingly, my other hand was grabbed from behind.

“Hey, what happened?”

I didn’t turn around, though. Was barely containing the urge to have all my suppressed anger out on someone: anyone. “Ian. Don’t.”

I waited for some seconds till he let go. “Then, let me take you home. It’s pouring out there.”

Couldn’t be any more perfect.

“No.” I shook my head and stepped out. “I’ll walk.”

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