Living in Sin (On Hold)

Three _ Just Before The Dawn

Nicole

I stared at mom’s back as I swayed on my feet nervously, contemplating whether to tell her or not. I decided to and was about to speak out before she turned and looked at me.

“What are you still doing in that uniform? Go change into something comfortable. Dinner’s almost ready.” She returned her attention back to the oven.

“Mom, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Is it important? I want to finish this up before your father comes home.”

“Kind of. Maybe I should change first. I’ll talk to you later.” I got somewhat relieved having to put off telling her, and headed upstairs. But she must’ve sensed something in my voice because she walked into my room still with her apron on before I was finished changing.

“Nikki, what’s the matter? Did something happen at school? Did someone hurt you?” then she gave me a knowing look. “Or more likely did you hurt someone and get called up by the principal?”

I chuckled at that. You know, what they say is true, mother knows best. I got into a lot of fights at school. Though I never start a fight, it’s often me who finishes it. Despite being a girl, when it came to brawling or anything of that sort, I was kind of good, all thanks to my uncles and of course my grandpa.

But this wasn’t about school. Quite far from it, to say the least.

“No mom, it’s about my,” Urgh,.. f*ck it, “my sex life!”

That made her gasp. Not good, Nicole, not good at all.

But what she said next was utterly unexpected.

“It’s okay. It’s perfectly fine.” Not averting that observant gaze from my dumbfounded self, she asked,  “Who’s the father?”

Confounded, I could only mange a “Huh?”.

“It’s Ian, isn’t it? You’ve been hanging out with him a lot more lately? When did it happen? How long have you known?” she said as she took my hand and made me sit on the bed along with her.

“Mom, what are you ..?” then it dawned on me and I burst into fits of laughter.

She looked at me incredulously and said, “Don’t play dumb now, young lady. Just because I said I’m fine with it doesn’t mean it’s to be taken lightly. Now pull yourself together and tell me the whole story.”

Out of the corner of my teary eye, I noticed her seriousness and annoyed suprise by my reaction. Seeing she still wasn’t  sharing the fun, I had to put a brake to my laughter and explained, still not with a straight face.

“It’s not what you think, mom. I’m not pregnant, or never will be, for that matter.”

“Then what were you trying to say?” Her mood softened a little but I felt that king-size lump say hi to my throat again.

“It’s just.. I don’t’ like boys.”

“What do you mean?” she clearly was getting impatient by the stalling I’ve been making.

“I’m .. I’m gay.” I said, with my eyes fixed on the pillow in my lap. I didn’t look up expecting something like a shout or at least a gasp. “I know, I’ll be asking too much if I ask you to forgive and accept …”

“Honey, look at me.”

And look up I did, to see those hazel eyes boring into mine.

“You are something, you know that?” I looked for any expression in her smile and only found what I needed, understanding and love.