Diary Of A Hermit: Intimacy With GOD

Day 16 Being lazy with God

5 Jul 2016  4:06:12 PM 
Wow, I am already on my 16th day here.   Time passes so quickly.  I am just enjoying every minute of silence here.  I did not realize I am on my way to finish my month.

I am not tired of saying how I love our dawn rosaries.  By 5:00am, I am in the chapel already, that is every single day! Whereas, I would have been busy preparing for masses outside, had I  been in Manila.

I love the feeling, you wake up early morning and starts with a prayer.  You prepare your food, and wash your clothes, take shower and have breakfast.  The rest of the morning, I stayed really silent in my room, reading and then doing some little studies in Italian.  I have forgotten my Italian completely.  I hope that I would be able to do the Comboni Year next year.

Then I assisted the brothers in soap making.  This is a very delicate thing to do, a bit laborious, and the chemical is also dangerous to the health.  As the were mixing, I was observing and taking down photos.  Though I helped in arranging the molders as the newly made were still hot, and the chemical could burn our skin.

After everything, I continued my own silence in the chapel, also waiting for the midday prayer.  This is also another moment that I have missed for so long in Manila.  All my life revolves around the work, office and ministries outside.

I had a very nice siesta afternoon.  Since we sleep always late here as we have the hora et labora, I make sure that I get a good siesta after lunch, a good silence and solitude, then a short walk in the surrounding.

We were expecting Fr. Gene to come today as he texted that he would come to see me.  We haven't talked formally yet, though we had short talks in his last two visits.  Anyway, there are still a lot of chances after, but I hope it would be before my departure.

4:18:59 PM 
I am the chapel as of this writing.  I am just sitting lazily before the Lord, writing on my journal and in fact, I feel like I don't have any agenda to tell God, just my presence, our presence for each other.  I know that He understands my mind and my hearts even if I won't open my mouth.  He reads everything of me, my weakness and wickedness, my strength and power.

I supposed that part of contemplation is just being there, seated in front of God, even in my own emptiness or nakedness.

10:20pm
During the mass, I reflected about Jesus feeling pity for the people, for they were like sheep without a shepherd.  That kind of image just lingered in my mind, the merciful Lord, a his heart melted seeing the situation of people.  He felt pity for the sick, for the abandoned, for the poor and needy and for the many victims of different kind of abuse.

Though I don't look like a beggar, in many different ways, Jesus showed to me how Merciful he is to my life, to my mission and the many situations of great need.  And in this time of my solitude, how He understands my soul's greatest desire.
It has been successive days that I went to bed very late, because of the hora et labora.  But I don't mind at all, it is for God's glory.  Besides, my manual labor is my contribution for the community for having adopted me for this month.