Diary Of A Hermit: Intimacy With GOD

Day 18 Hermitine El

7 Jul 2016  4:26:51 AM 
Still very early, but I sleep very little last night.  Kenneth and Bro. El  asked me if they could drink.  El got drunk right away and started talking a lot of things.  Kenneth was just riding on and I was just listening to his words, while lying on my bed.  El is such a good man for me, holy young man, worthy of a hermitic lifestyle.  But I saw the need of real formation.  We all need formation and formators.  This way of life is very delicate.

I decided not to go to the chapel for the early rosary.  Besides all of them are still sleeping.  It was very dark and I was also afraid to go out in the dark, simply because of insects or snakes.  It is better just to stay around, make my journal, reflect, read something and pray by myself.  I guess more prayers this time to chase away all negativities that I am having in my mind.

7 Jul 2016  10:22:44 AM 
When I got out from bed, I just washed my face, brushed my teeth and went for a walk.  I had a silent walk, very meditative and very solemn.  I just did not realize that I already walked too far.  I meet a lot of tricycle bringing students to school.  A few people who have seen me walking were perhaps wondering who I am. They stared at me and I just greeted them good morning.  I have seen realities of people around, some with really very poor houses.  Some children went for school with very crumpled uniforms, and some are a bit dirty still.

On my way back, I went straight to the big river, where people are working, making concrete walls for flood and erosion.  I just stayed in silence there.  The river is very dirty. It has become and a damping site.  Like when I went for a Walk to Bucana area, the roadside is also the damping site for many people.  It looks very dirty and should be dangerous to people and children. 

I just sat down there in the cold cold morning, watching people passing and animals playing.  I think I have found another place for my personal contemplation.  Not during day time because it would be really hot.  It is so quiet and fresh.  I really thank God for the gift of nature, for giving us Mother Earth.  He has given so much, but people are very irresponsible sometimes to their surroundings.

Back home, I saw El cooking breakfast.  He was very silent, so I just respected his silence.  Once El shared to me his life.  With the way he was sharing his story, I realized right away that he needs somebody to form him.  Here, he does not have a formator.  He was a former diocesan seminarian then left.  He joined the Franciscans, then he left.  For a while, he joined with the Carmelites and became in-charge of their little hermitage, but then he left.  With this one, I already questioned his orientation.  He came to know D'Sanctum, saying that here, he has found his vocation of loving Mother Earth.  I questioned him personally if coming to D'Sanctum was an escape or a refuge?  He was not sure of his answer.  Now, he does not have any formator or spiritual director.  I ask God to enlighten him always.

7 Jul 2016  11:10:46 AM 
I had a very silent morning.  After my computer works, I just stayed in the chapel for personal silence.  I kept asking God not to make me bias by now and not to be judgmental.  I prayed very hardly too to God that He may remove all my negative feelings and other preoccupations.  I want the remaining days here to be really a moment of solitude, rest and quiet.

7 Jul 2016  4:15:33 PM 
I had a great siesta.  I did not sleep really very well last night, so I made it sure to sleep at lest for few hours this afternoon.  When I got up, took my shower and prepared for another period of silence.

I saw Kenneth outside practicing his guitar.  You don't really notice any music in it except the constant aimless strumming and his very narrow humming.  I am not trying to humiliate him, but I do understand a lot because he is just practicing.  I invited him for a walk, snacks and walk again.  We had a nice chat, heart to heart one.  Kenneth promised that he will take good care of himself, work hard, study and make a good future.  Who knows he will become a Religious too.  I also thanked him for what he is showing to me, his goodness and availability, his help and just being there when I need something.  I will have few days left here, and assured him of my prayers.  I see sadness in his face.

I didn't really have any particular intention in my silence.  I just stayed there in peace and quiet.  I went to the chapel after, a little bit of reading and writing, and then another quiet moment.  It is nice just to listen to the birds and crickets.  The trees are very much motionless, not any sign of wind.  But it is very bright.  The surrounding is so bright and green.

9:00pm
We had a short song practice for the adoration tomorrow.  It took sometime for Kenneth and Novella to read well and sing the songs, even they are just simply written in Latin.

After the song practice, we had reading practice with Novella, which was so difficult because of her difficulty in pronouncing and articulating.  I should say, at her age, she is in great need for practice- reading and comprehension.  She is also difficult to be taught because of her childish mannerism and reasoning.  If you correct her, she will find her way to reason even if it is a mistake.  It takes a lot of patience.  But I am happy doing this, to help grow and mature and get educated.