Finally Falling

32: We know your secret

The blankness of this hospital room is really starting to get to me. There is literally not even a speck of dust anywhere. Right now it's just Stephanie and Cassie that are in the room. We forced Jessie to go home and Justin left without saying a word. Jace went out to get some coffee.

"So why did you go?"

"Go where?"

"Kate."

"I just, I, I needed to just get out."

"What happened?"

"Guys, this isn't a therapy session."

"Kate, what you did was very reckless. There's obviously something going on. You know you can tell us, we'll be there no matter what."

"It's nothing. I just felt like punching someone and it just so happened to be Rustin."

"Rustin?" Cassie said with a small gasp.

"Yeah, and trust me, kicking his ass felt great."

"Does looking like a salad also feel great?" Steph asked, annoyed.

I didn't blame her for being irritated. She had the right to be. I mean, I must sound like a total bitch right now boasting about beating Rustin up and being so inconsiderate about the fact that my friends are here when they could be at home enjoying the peace of sleep. They are here because they care about a reckless and messed up girl who looks like a salad at the moment. I feel so guilty and ashamed right now.

"Guys, I'm really sorry about all this. I really am. Thank you. Thank you so much for staying the night with me. I know that you didn't have to and I-"

"You'd do the same for us. Except we wouldn't be so careless. Kate," Stephanie sighed, "I really think you need to talk to Justin. I know that your relationship with him is...difficult, but he's your family and no matter what you think, he really does care about you. When we called him to let him know where you were there was actual fear in his voice, fear that something terrible had happened to you."

"It's not our place to interfere but we don't want to see you regret your actions. We're your friends and we want what's best for you and we also know that you don't tell us everything that's going on. And we get it- we totally understand. Gosh, I'm making us sound like jealous girlfriends," Cassie said with a laugh. "But we both understand that you just met us and that you might not completely trust us but, just know, we are here for you, whenever you need us."

I was startled by what Cassie said. What if the two of them found out? Did Brandon tell them? No. No, he promised me he wouldn't say anything to anyone about it. The same way I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone about what happened to his little brother. "Guys, what are you talking about? I don't feel that way at all. I do tell you stuff. I mean come on, my life isn't really that interesting. Not unless you count watching Jace tie up his shoelaces because that's hilarious, he always gets confused when he gets to the loop. But seriously, other than that, I don't hide anything from you gu-"

"Brandon."

Caught completely off-guard my only response was, "huh?"

"We know you like him."

-----------------------------------------------------

They were right. I did like him. I hadn't gone to school for a couple of days which meant I had extra time on my hands and all I could think about was Brandon. I thought I was going crazy and I kept denying it, that there was no way I liked him. We argue so much all the time, how could I like him? But then I thought about it. And I thought about the way he laughs with me and makes me laugh. The way he jokes around with me and teases me. The way he doesn't hide his emotions from me anymore but instead lets me in. And then I thought about all the ways that he's been there for me. He defended me and was ready to fight Rustin for me. He was the only person in the world that I had told about my parents and what really happened. He acts arrogant and cocky but really, he's a sarcastic and funny human being who just last week helped an elderly couple celebrate their 50th anniversary as well as helping a single mother find a job.

"Earth to Kate," said Caleb waving a hand in my face. I remember when I thought I had a crush on Caleb. Caleb was sweet and handsome, but I can't believe I thought that. I mean I really like our friendship. Dwelling on that thought would have seriously messed things up.

"What are you thinking about?" He said as we arrived at our usual table for lunch. Something was different about him, I just wasn't sure what. "Nothing much," I said with a smile, noticing that everybody else was already at the table, including Brandon who was staring at me with calculating eyes.

"Kate! We are so glad you're back," said Cassie," it was really boring without you."

I gave a small smile in response and realized that Brandon was still staring at me. I tried to ignore it but then I felt this weird sensation in my stomach as if butterflies had suddenly started fluttering. But it quickly went away when Cassie started filling me in on what had happened in school while I wasn't here.

Olivia had apparently thrown a tantrum when the cheerleading squad kicked her off the team. They said it was fairly amusing to see and speaking of Olivia, I hadn't forgotten what she did with my essay and the eggs she put in my bag.
I am so going to get her back for that.

Cassidy Hills, one of the cheerleaders who was in my chemistry class was pregnant. When people found out, news had spread like crazy. Gossip was still ongoing as no one knew the who the supposed father was. A bunch load of other stuff happened but I excused myself saying that I needed to go to the library.

Brandon didn't say anything to me the entire time I was at lunch but he kept glancing at me. I wanted to talk to him. Not just because I now know that I like him. But because I missed our bickering and I wanted to apologize for punching him. I also needed to tell him that the fake dating charade was over. I knew that if I spent any more time pretending to be a couple in love with him my feelings wouldn't go away but deepen instead.

But I couldn't talk to him. We just became close. So close that he tells me things and talks to me with a smile on his face. I couldn't ruin that. If I tell him, what if he pushes me away? What if he isolates himself from me?

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