Finally Falling

38: Gravity loves me

"Okay, okay! Quiet down or I'll give the entire class detention!"

That shut everyone up. Tomorrow was prom and nobody could afford to get a detention when there was just so much to do. Why is prom so important? I especially don't understand the point of prom king and queen. It's a plastic crown that costs less than five dollars yet everybody makes it such a big deal and fights over it.

My little rant in my head didn't give me time to realize that Brandon was at the front of the class ready to present his report.

"Before I start, I want to state that throughout my history assignment I have replaced 'Kate' with 'Klumsy', with a K, because that's my name for her. The name is derived from her unique ability to fall off a chair while simply sitting on it. If you haven't yet experienced it you're missing out on some really funny stuff, but I guarantee that you will encounter it soon enough."

"Gravity loves me!"

"Yes, the only thing that can love you is something nonexistent," said Olivia, and her minions laughed this screechy-hyena laugh that would take somebody very skilled to imitate.

"It's very much existent, Olivia. I mean, after all, it isn't your brain."

I seriously didn't think Olivia was that dumb but her belief that gravity doesn't exist really concerns me. It almost makes me want to help her get into summer school. Summer school for seventeen-year-olds with the mental age of a five-year-old. But then I remember what she did with my the eggs in my bag and my physics report. So instead, being the nice and lovely and totally not keen on revenge kind of person that I am, I will let her nasty act slide and just pray that a Summer school like that exists.

The class snickers and Olivia and her minions just look at them with an I'm-too-good-for-you expression stuck to their faces.

"Anyway, so when I first had the unfortunate luck of meeting Klumsy, I absolutely loathed her. She dropped coffee on me so my hate was totally rational. She was-is this person who fights for what's right. She doesn't take anybody's crap but instead gives them a piece of her mind. So many pieces that her body is now off balance and she falls while standing perfectly still. I honestly don't know how that's possible but that's the thing with her. She makes the impossible things possible like actually gaining my trust and attaining the privilege that is to be friends with me."

"She has the worst insults but the best heart. And she's such an idiot not to record this because after I'm done with this speech I'm burning it and nothing so kind will ever come out of my mouth again."

"Then I had the unpleasant opportunity of getting to know her and, weirdly enough, it wasn't exactly unpleasant. It was different than what I expected it to be, to say the least. But that's a good thing. And her coming into my life-I'm going to kill myself for saying this but Klumsy coming into my life was a good thing. Probably the best thing."

"And after my highly unnecessary speech, my point is... Klumsy's not like anyone.No historical figure-absolutely nobody- could compare to her. Everything about her, all the quirkiness, weirdness, clumsiness, loyalty, bravery and, believe it or not, I actually have a million more things to say that make up her distinctive personality, but if I did we'd all be here until tomorrow and I can only say so many nice things at a time."

A girl at the back of the class who I'd never seen before burst into tears. Actual tears. "Oh my gosh! That was so beautiful," she said while blowing her nose into a tissue.

I was stunned and overwhelmed and absolutely shocked at Brandon's speech and all the words that came out of his beautifully carved mouth. Did I just say that? My speech looked like garbage compared to his.

I waited for our teacher to call my name to present but instead of, "Kate, your turn," all that could be heard were his loud and obnoxious snores resonating throughout the classroom.

But I got up anyway and as soon as I did, I fell. Yes, I fell. In a way that caused everyone to give me a standing ovation and double over in their laughter. Brandon came over to me and was laughing, yes he's been doing that a lot around me recently.

"I was dancing with the floor. It's so much more attractive than you! Oh, shut up before I rip your dimples off your annoying face."

YES, those are just some of my world famous insults. I'm actually turning it into a profession. An insult-er. Because I'm so good at it. Insert sarcasm and whatever is left of my dignity.

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