Yours. » miniminter ff

Thirteen

Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too
And I'm always tired but never of you

I was livid.

I kept pacing around my apartment like a crazy woman while Cal sat on the couch. "It's okay Lily, I'm fine." I rolled my eyes at him and scoffed. "I'm not worried about you." I admitted while I sat next to him. "I know you're fine, he just makes me so mad." I crossed my arms and he just sat there trying to hold in his laugh. "What are you laughing at?" I snapped as the front door open, I looked up and saw Mani standing there. "Where'd you run off to?" I questioned, she just waved me off and walked to her room. She looked upset.

I sighed and leaned into the couch, shutting my eyes as Cal stood up. "Harry is waiting outside, I'll see you tomorrow. Get some sleep." He chuckled but I continued to sit on the couch with a frown on my face. I heard the door click shut and I sat in complete silence. Eventually I continued editing my video when Mani came into the office. "Have you talked to him?" I glanced at her and shook my head. I knew exactly who she was talking about. "No. To be honest I really don't want to either." I swiveled around in the chair and faced her, crossing my legs. "I think you should. He can explain things." I rolled my eyes and swiveled back around. "I'm not talking to him."

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Simon's POV

"I'm not talking to her." I said loudly, shutting my bedroom door and leaning against it. "What do you mean you're not going to talk to her? First you say you think you love her now you won't even say a single word to her? What's wrong with you?" Mani pounded on the door and I closed my eyes. I opened the door quickly and saw Mani standing there with Vik, Josh, and JJ standing there with her. "I just can't okay? I can't look at her without feeling guilty for hurting her. Even if it was indirectly." I mumbled the last part and turned away from them. "Don't do this Si, she cares about you." I shook my head and sat down at my desk. "I'm not doing it."

They all sat down on my bed except for Mani who was looking at me with her hands on her hips. "I can't believe this. You just confessed your love for her just yesterday and now you're being cowardly and backing out?" I clenched my jaw and stood up quickly. "I'm not being a coward okay? I'm in love with her, I have been for awhile but I'm not good for her. I'm not good enough to be able to keep her. She deserves someone better, someone who can keep up with her. Someone like...Cal." I didn't want to say it and even when I did I cringed. Josh looked at me confused. "You mean the guy you punched in the face yesterday?" JJ and Vik looked at Josh. "Wait, you punched him?" JJ looked at me in shock. "I was slightly out of it when I did that." I mumbled before sitting back down.

"I don't deserve her." I looked at them before turning around and pretending to start editing. "Shut the door on your way out."

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Lily's POV

I let out a sigh and scrolled through Twitter, curling up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of tea. "Hey sis." Mani walked in with a bag of sandwiches, a small pity smile on her face. "I got you food." I smiled and looked up at her. "Thanks." I went back to Twitter as she came over and handed me my sandwich. "Let's watch a movie." I shrugged as she turned Netflix, putting Hope Floats on. One of my favorites.

I was quiet throughout the movie and when Mani had paused it so she could use the bathroom, I went back on Twitter, seeing a tweet that stood out from the rest.

@miniminter: I've never regretted anything so much in my life.

I stare at it for awhile, even when Mani comes back and plays the movie again. I don't know what to think, I trusted him and he broke my heart and that's when we were friends, what would happen if we dated? How chaotic would things get? I wanted to believe that things would get better between us but he's been acting like such a dick, but I miss him. I miss talking to him and singing along to old songs with him and I miss playing weird games that I'm no good at with him. I miss his presence. I miss him.

But I'm angry and confused and I want to distance myself but also get closer. I can feel my walls getting taller and taller. I can feel myself just getting tired of all of this.

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I woke up at around eight in the morning, made myself some breakfast, trying not to wake Mani up of course. I took a nice bath, and then read a book. I looked through the comments on the video I posted and for awhile I felt so at peace. I took a walk in the afternoon, roaming the streets and treating myself to some ice cream. I rounded the corner and walked to an area of the park that had a beautiful view, I went to sit on a bench when I saw a couple sitting there.

For a moment I didn't think anything of it, but when I saw Simon look at me with a face full of shock, I almost threw up. He was sitting with Victoria, who hadn't seen me yet. He was looking at me but his expression went from shocked to unreadable. I stood there for a minute before turning back around, almost on the verge of tears.

How stupid am I?

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Ooh drama drama drama.
Lots more where that came from, at least that's my plan.

Song of the chapter: I Hate U, I Love U by gnash