Yours. » miniminter ff

Twenty Nine

Let me know what I have to do to get back to you.
To get back to you, back to you.
Let me know what I have to say so you think of me.
So you think of me, think of me.
Let me know what I have to do to get back to you

Simon's POV

"Wait a minute. Are you being serious right now?" My voice sounded like it was barely above a whisper. She stared at me with cold eyes while tears streamed down her face. "No, I won't let you." I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair. She wiped tears away and she looked away from me, she was trying to avoid my gaze. "I'm not letting you go okay? I'm not letting you push me away again. Whatever is going on I want to be by your side." I needed to persuade her, I needed her to understand that I couldn't be without her. "Why must you always be so persistent? Do you really want this everyday? You want to have me be like this everyday?" She pointed to herself and then crossed her arms. "You deserve so much better Simon. You deserve someone who is going to constantly make you happy, not want to run for the hills."

Taking a few steps towards her I looked down at her smaller frame. "Who says I'd run for the hills? I love you, I'm not going anywhere. I want to be here, I want to be supportive of you. So please just take a deep breath for me." Her whole demeanor was starting to really scare me. She whispered something but it was too low for me to hear, I tried to not get too frustrated with her. After a moment of silence she motioned for the door and I got the message loud and clear. I didn't want to leave her behind in a state like that but I felt that if I was going to get through to her I needed to give her some space.

God I loved her, if she were to walk away from me I don't know what I would do.

» » »

Lily's POV

I stared at myself in the mirror, my breathing had slowed down to normal and I had finally stopped crying.

It sucked.

It sucking knowing that I was purposefully pushing him away.

I was pushing everyone away.

I hadn't talked to anyone for a couple of days now, not that I wanted to anyway. I moved away from the mirror and climbed into bed, throwing the covers on top of me and snuggling into the warmth. I let out a sigh when the door opened and Mani walked in. "What are you doing? It's only noon." She said to me and I rolled my eyes. "I'm taking a nap." I mumbled, shutting my eyes. "Don't you think you should film? Come on let's do something, we can do a simple and casual video." I shook my head. "No thanks." I heard her sigh and quietly walk out of the room.

That went on for the rest of the day, I just simply didn't want to leave my room. Simon texted me and tried to call but my mind was too fuzzy and I felt like I needed to be by myself for awhile. I glanced at my phone that was on the bedside table, I bit my lower lip and called Simon back. "Hey." I said lowly. "Hey baby girl." I smiled softly and tucked a piece of my wavy hair behind my ear. "You okay?" I took a deep breath and nodded even though he couldn't see me. "Yeah. I love you. I want you to know that." He was quiet for a moment but I knew he was smiling. "I love you too."

I avoided everyone like the plague. Instead I focused on packing and making sure no one knew about it. It had been days since I had seen anyone and I wanted to keep it that way. After Mani announced she was going to film with Joe and Caspar, I decided now was the perfect opportunity.

So I packed my bags and left.

» » »

Simon's POV

"What do you mean she's gone?" I questioned Mani who looked like she was about to cry. "Her clothes are gone so are her suitcases. She left all these letters for everyone. I tried to call her but her phone is off." Mani started to pace as we all looked at each other. I shook my head in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me? After everything we've been through she just ups and leaves? What the hell!" I slammed my fist against the wall and Tobi put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. "Don't do anything stupid." He said to me and I calmed down a bit. "I knew things were bad but I didn't think she'd actually go back." Mani mumbled.

"Bad? What do you mean bad?" Josh asked. "Lily has a history of having high levels of stress and anxiety. I thought she would pull through this time. When things get tough and confusing, she likes to distance herself." Mani plopped down on the couch and I made my way over towards the counter and looked at the big pile of letters. I grabbed mine and stuffed it into my pocket. "Here." I threw the letters on the couch and walked out of the apartment.

"Simon wait!" I heard Mani yell, she stopped in front of me and I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "What?" She looked at me with a frown. "Don't. Don't take your anger out on me. I'm not the one you're angry at." She said to me with a confident tone and I retreated a bit. "She loves you Simon. Please don't forget that okay. This is her way of coping, it's not a good way but it's something. She wouldn't leave for good." I felt somewhat reassured by Mani's words but I was still mad.

I walked into my room and sat down at my desk, I could feel the letter in my pocket and I took a deep breath before tearing it open.

Dear Simon,

This was probably the hardest letter to write, mostly because I know you're the most mad at me. I need to do this. I need to get away for awhile. I know you tried your best to help and I love you so much for that, but I can't depend on you forever. I need to do this myself. I need to fix myself. When I'm ready I'll come back, and you and I can hopefully continue where we left off but I want you to be happy, so if you ever find someone better than me, don't hesitate for a second. I love you. I'm sorry.

Love, Lily.

» » »

I think I just about cried during this whole thing.

I love feedback so let me know about what you think!

Also I have a new simon fanfic, check it out?

Song of the chapter: Back To You by Cody Simpson