Yours. » miniminter ff

Thirty

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried

"What the hell were you thinking?" I bit my bottom lip as my mom yelled at me through the phone. "I'm sorry." I whispered before listening to her lecture on why I have to start thinking before I act. I walked up to the apartment of my friend Justin, when his eyes landed on me he very sassily put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow. "I know for a fact this is a dream. Because the Lily I know stopped running away from her problems." When I didn't say anything he sighed and opened the door for me to go inside. "Lil?" I turned to look in the kitchen to see Justin's boyfriend Kevin. "Hey Kev!" He pulled me in for a quick hug before Justin intercepted us. "Excuse me missy, we have a lot of talking to do."

I slumped in my seat on the couch and glanced over at the two of them. "There's nothing to talk about." I mumbled before crossing my arms. "Let's see if I got this right. You met a guy, things were a bit complicated but you two managed to pull through, you got scared and your stupid non committal heart decided that falling in love was pointless and then Mani lost the baby which caused you more stress because you felt like it was your fault somehow and now the old Lily who ran away from her problems is back." I just stared at Justin for a moment, his eyes looking into mine. "Okay. You got me there." I said finally as I crossed my arms. "You always do this." He said softly and Kevin retreated back into the kitchen. "Always do what?" I was growing defensive.

"You don't let anyone get close to you. It happened with Vince back in junior year and then after that it was Colin and now it's Simon." I looked down at my lap and frowned. Had I really always been like this? I knew I wasn't good in relationships before but I didn't pay too much attention to why they ended. "I've never met him but after you talking about him nonstop and Mani giving me some details, I don't need to meet him to know he loves you." I sighed and looked over at one of my best friends. "I'll think about it." I said to him. He led to me the guest room after that and I sat on the bed for awhile just contemplating life.

My head was full of fuzzy thoughts that I didn't know how I could get rid of. I ended up taking a nap and when I woke up, Justin and Kevin were both in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Something smells amazing. Kevin must be cooking." He shot me a smile and glanced over at Justin who had rolled his eyes. "I'm a good cook, just the other day I made chicken noodle soup." I glanced at him with a smile. "How'd if turn out?" Justin paused what he was doing and avoided my gaze. "That's not the point." I let out a laugh as I began helping Kevin, Justin sat the table and we put on some music to hype us up. We were about ready to sit down and serve ourselves when knocks came to the door.

"Mani?" Justin said once he answered it. "Oh you must be Simon." I instantly shot out of my chair and looked at Justin. I shook my head and quickly hid inside the kitchen. "Hey Justin, look I know you haven't talked to Lily in a couple of days but do you know where she might be?" I could hear Mani say, sounding upset. "Not really, I talked to her this morning. She said she was fine. I wouldn't worry about her, she's a big girl." I thanked Justin silently in my head for going along with it. "But I am worried about her. Look I know we haven't met before or anything but I need to see her. So if you have any information, can you just please tell us." It was Simon's voice that time around and I felt myself falling to the floor.

"I'll let you know." He shut the door and rushed over to the kitchen. "I'm not doing that again!" I looked up at him and bit my bottom lip. "You need to get over this fear of being in love. One day it's going to backfire on you." Justin said to me, I looked down at my plate as I sat down and sighed. "You're too guarded for your own good. You need to trust yourself." Kevin said and I shook my head. "There's a lot of things that I need to fix before I can even think about a boyfriend."

After eating I went into the guest room and sat on my bed, I had so many missed calls and messages from practically everyone back home, but as bad as it sounded, I wanted to cut ties with them. I didn't want to explain anything and I didn't want to get pitying looks and I just wanted to be left alone.

What I really wanted was to be away from London in general.

I had already done so and was starting to feel a bit better. The next morning there were knocks on my door and I rubbed my eyes about to get up from bed when Mani burst through the door. "I knew it!" She said to me and grabbed a pillow looking like she was about to hit me. "Woah, hey chill!" I put my hands up to defend myself and she swung at me hard. "Why didn't you tell me you piece of shit!" She hit me on my head and I glared at her. "Because I knew this would happen!" I grabbed a pillow and hit her in the stomach. "We've been worried sick about you." She threw the pillow back on the bed and let out a sad sigh. "Come back home please?"

I shook my head. "Mani, I need to do this. I promise when things are okay with my head I'll be back." I smiled at her and even though she looked disappointed she hugged me. "Can I have a minute?" I looked at the tall blonde and took a deep breath. Mani left and shut the door behind her, I kept my distance from Simon. "You didn't even say goodbye." He started out. "Technically the note was my way of saying goodbye. Can't believe you didn't catch that." I joked with a small laugh. "This isn't funny." He said in a serious tone and I rolled my eyes. "Was this just some huge game to you?" I crossed my arms at him. "Of course not. I just don't want to do this back and forth thing anymore. I don't like arguing with you."

"Come back home." He said to me simply. "Things don't just work that way. I need time off." He looked hurt by my words which made my heart break a bit. "Time off? From us? After everything? This is it? This is how we're going to end things?" I didn't want to say the words but in the back of my mind I knew I was doing the right thing.

"Yes."

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Yikes

anyway I actually liked this chapter and the next chapter is going to make me feel so many emotions, i'm excited

this song was playing while I was writing this and I just think it fits with the tone

Song of the chapter: Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Miley Cyrus