Yours. » miniminter ff

Twenty Five

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you

Simon's POV

My eyes wouldn't leave her. She looked like an angel walking down the staircase, her eyes lit up and the butterflies in my stomach started to go crazy. I hadn't thought too much about what it would be like to see her again after so long. Three months was actually a very long time. She reached our table and my eyes decided now would be a perfect time to concentrate on something else. "Hey guys." I heard her say and they all said their round of hellos. "You look very pretty Lily." Ethan said and she laughed. "Thanks." Hearing her voice so close to me made me forget about everything bad in my life. Mostly about how I was the one who pushed her away from me.

"Hey Simon." She sat down in an empty seat next to me that I hadn't noticed before. "Oh hi." I said quickly before turning my attention elsewhere. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her small smile vanish and it hurt me to see her upset over me. We ignored each other for the first half of the night, when the music got turned on, everyone abandoned the table and went onto the dance floor. I on the other hand stood outside on the balcony, looking up at the stars and thinking how much of an asshole I've been. "What are you doing out here?" Josh asked as he stood next to me. "Thinking."

He nodded slowly before turning around and leaning against the railing. "What about?" I shrugged. "Everything I guess." I glanced at him. "Or just Lily." He stated and I rolled my eyes. "Not today Josh." I leaned my elbows on the railing and looked at the rows and rows of trees. "Why not? She's here Simon. She's inside about a hundred feet away from you and for some reason you're standing here. I know you love her and I know that you know how big of a mistake you made. Just talk to her." I let him talk but I stayed silent, after a few minutes he grew annoyed and walked away leaving me in peace again.

"Hey Si." I heard and for a moment time stopped, I turned around and saw Lily standing there, she had a smile on her face. "Hey." I turned back around to seem disinterested thinking maybe she'll leave me alone if I looked annoyed but instead she came and stood right next to me. "Long time no see." She let out a laugh and for a second I smiled. "You look nice." Trying to strike up a conversation even when she knew I didn't want to. "Thanks." I whispered. "You look amazing, like always." I added in, avoiding all eye contact with her. "Simon I want to talk to you. There's so much that was left unsaid. I need you to stand there and be quiet and just let me get this out." I was about to say something but she put her hand on top of mine and I couldn't do anything after that.

"That night was messed up, you really hurt my feelings however I didn't realize how much I might've hurt yours. I was scared and I didn't know what to do, but instead of running I should have just gone through with it, because it ended up being something I regret, I ended up losing you." She paused and looked down at her delicate hand on top of mine. "I care about you Simon, I always have and I need you in my life. Can we at least try at being friends? We were so good at that." I looked up at her, standing up straight and taking a deep breath. "Friends?" She nodded. "Friends." I smiled softly and nodded my head. At least it was something. "Now come dance with me."

Before I knew it I was being whisked away from the balcony by her, pulling me towards the dance floor just in time for a slow song to be playing. "Are you a pencil or something, dance correctly." She laughed and I slipped my hand to her waist. "I really can't dance." I said awkwardly. "I think you can dance." She said and her hand rested on my shoulder. "I'm sorry." I whispered to her which made her face fall. "Let's not talk about that. Forget whatever happened before and just move on." I frowned instantly. "Move on?" I questioned and suddenly I couldn't dance anymore, not like I could before. "You and I aren't right for each other Simon. That's why being friends is the closest we'll ever get." She was saying all this stuff with such confidence but I could see it in her eyes that she didn't mean anything that she was saying. "We didn't work before but things change, people change." I watched her expression change and suddenly her hand dropped from my shoulder. "I can't believe we're doing this right now."

"You agreed on friends." She pleaded. "What if I don't want to be just friends?" I asked her, grabbing onto her hand. "It's all your getting from me." She turned around and walked away, I was left standing there again with the urge to run after, so I did. "Look things happen all the time! I was an idiot to say those things that night, an idiot to believe that you didn't care about me! But you and I were meant for each other, I know you can feel that too!" She was still walking away from me, where she was going I don't know. We were in the lobby, only a couple people working but not paying much attention to us. "I always cared about you Simon but you made it seem like you didn't care about me!" She turned around and we crashed into each other, I held onto her tightly but she wiggled away from me.

"Simon we can't even have a normal conversation together as friends without something happening between us." She looked at me and I could see the defeat written all over her expression. "Maybe you and I can't be friends without being lovers too. I know it sounds cheesy okay but I was my happiest when I was with you. We work together, we just have to try a little harder." I felt like getting on my knees and begging to her. "It shouldn't be this hard Si." I stared at her for a moment. I didn't really know what to say. "How can you be so sure? Tell me if you love anyone else the way you love me, cause I don't. I love you and I can say that without having to think about anyone else." Her lips formed into a small smile. "You don't know that Simon, there are so many other people in this world, we're still young."

I shook my head.

"No, I love you. I always have and I always will."

• • •

my babies omg

think of this as a two parter i guess, issuing the same song cause it's still relevant

Song of the chapter: This Town by Niall Horan