Broken Melody

Melody

Three days.

It has been three days since Ashton's murder. Three days since his funeral, three days since I've had a good conversation with Evan and three days since Ares played my mind and agreed to have him hunt down the killers. Life didn't seem worth living after that night, no words could describe how I am feeling. While I lost my love, Evan lost his best friend. This whole time I thought I was the one taking this hard, he was worse.

Evan has locked himself in his room and has refused to come out. Bo usually picks the lock to check in on him, he has been living food for him but it's left untouched. This morning before I left to school, Bo mumble something about shoving food down his throat. Then kissed my forehead and set me on my way. There were a couple times during the day that I would make Bo open the door for me. I would then just lay in bed with him.

He was always there for me so I was going to be there for him. He would get mad at me and snap then cry. I have open seen Evan cry once but lately he has been crying every day. It broke my heart when he asked me if this as how I felt most of my life. Numb and cold. I didn't want to admit it to him but the look in his eyes made me confess. I had no idea how or where to start helping him. But I was glad we were around good people, when Bo and Catalina came to work. Someone from the club would stay with Evan, which I was thankful for.

"How is he doing?" Eli asked uneasily. We were finally at lunch and so far we both have been pushing our food around.

Giving a careless shrug I said. "Not good. He is still locked in his room, he snaps at me at first then breaks down." Dropping my fork, I ran my hand over my face. "He keeps going in circles. I'm worried for him."

It was quiet for a few minutes before she spoke up again. "It will take some time, possibly longer. I can relate somewhat, when my dad lost his best friend overseas he looked lost. It took him about five months before he started to be himself again." Well at least someone can kind of understand. I thought. "And you? How are you doing?"

And there it was again, all my life I have been asked this question. I was getting a little sick of hearing those words. "You know, all my life I have spent living in fear. Afraid of what could happen if I let my guard down, when I would be forced to face my father once again, where we would end up—was is a good home? Is it an abusive home? I am so tired of crying and feeling bad for myself. Yes, it hurts like hell that Ashton was taking from me, yes, I wish my brother was no going through this, and yes! It feels like my chest is going to cave in on me, but I can't...I can't allow myself to be a victim."

Eli said nothing and just stared at me, I was pretty sure she was starting to think I am going crazy. Groaning I dropped my chin in my hand and stared at her. Waiting to see what she was going to say. Finally, she gave a little nod and looked down at her food before her eyes looked back up.

"I get it. Even though you want to break down, give up, shut down like you have done in the past. You can't bring yourself to do. You know what it's like to have no control of you feeling, that when it hits you it hits. Then when that voice of reason breaks through and you find yourself, you gain back control that you longed for. So when something like this happens you want to pack it all away and move on. You just want to turn it all off and forget you ever did feel any type of emotions."

Pushing her hair out of her face, she looked everywhere else but at me. This was a new side to her that I have yet to see, for the first time I was seeing inside of her. She was joyful, yes. But she had fought a tiring inner battle. "Eli, everything will be okay," I said. Reaching for her hand.

She nodded and looked back to me, her eyes were filled with tears but she fought them back. "I was in an abusive relationship for three years. Then one day, I just woke up and told the police everything, it took a year after that before I was able to kind of be myself again. When something like that happens it changes you forever."