Into You

Chapter 38

Morning came early to drag her from a troubled sleep. She woke up as the sunlight came creeping across her bedroom floor, passing over the remnants of a room service dinner and discarded, still damp, clothes. As she lay there, her brain doing another panicked lap of the room, she watched its steady progression towards her, waiting for it to wake the snoring beauty who was cuddled at her side.

"Ugh," Camila grunted as the light finally hit her face, making her hair glisten as it lay on the pillow, looking a bit disheveled after its early evening dip the night before. "Fucking sunshine, I was having such a nice dream,"

Lauren couldn't help but smile as her girlfriend's hand slipped from her waist and reached above her head to drag down a pillow, pulling it over her face. "Better," Camila said snuggling herself further into her shoulder. "We don't have to go shooting this morning, do we, mi amor?"

"No," she said softly, hiding the fear that gripped her at Camila's new favorite term for her. "No shooting this morning, Camz. There's going to be plenty of that later,"

"Good, because I don't want to move from here," came the muffled response.

"We'll have to get up for breakfast soon, though,"

"Five more minutes, Lolo. Just give me five more minutes sleep, ok?"

She looked across at the clock on the bedside table. It was still early, very early in fact. Camila could have her five minutes and then some.

Lauren closed her eyes, as the brunette's tiny fingers wriggled their way between hers, and tried to get a bit more sleep. Today was going to be a very busy day.

She'd been waking up regularly through the night, fits of panic taking hold of her over her impromptu admission in the pool. It's not the fact that she used the 'L' word. She has used that word many times before, genuinely to her mom, tactically to Lucy, in affection to Luis. No, it wasn't the word itself. It was the manner in which she used it that was causing her problems. She'd told Camila she loved her and she'd meant it.

She fucking meant it...
... and Camila had told her that she loves her too! Just how much shit is she in?

Joanna would probably tell her she was having issues with commitment, or some shit, that it was perfectly natural and that she would just need to work her way through them. Luis would have told her she was being a dick, and that she should be happy that someone like Camila would be interested in her, let alone confess to loving her. Her mother would probably pat her on the head like a five-year old and say, "that's lovely, cariño. Now, how about a nice cup of tea while you tell me all about her,"

She doesn't love people. Fuck, she barely allows herself to like people for fear that the Jauregui curse would strike again. People she loves die, people she likes leave her or die, it's all messed up. She can't love Camila, she just can't...

...and yet she does.

"Lolo?" Camila said tugging on her hand. She grunted in response, not opening her eyes.

"I asked if you were ok, mi amor," Camila said, still muffled by the pillow that covered her pretty face.

"I'm fine, Camz," she said lying casually. "Just thinking of going back to sleep, that's all."

"You can talk to me about it, you know. I'll understand."

She felt herself tense slightly at her words, regretting the action as soon as it was done, knowing that she would have felt it.

"I get it, Lauren, I really do," she said pushing up the pillow revealing her brown eyes, filled with affection rather than the hurt Lauren had expected.