Into You

Chapter 48

"Why did you do it, Snowy?"

"Why, Snowy, why...?"

"I trusted you, Lauren" Luis intoned, his voice dry and crusty.

"We promised each other," he said once again, now so close to her. She could smell the sweat on his skin and the blood as it continued to flow. "We promised to do the right thing, you promised to look after my family."

"I did my best, Luis," she screamed again, "I did my fucking best."

"I did my best!" she screamed, waking herself up violently. The sheets around her were soaked in sweat and she was shivering despite the warm night.

She had started to sleep in her own room over the last few nights, much to Camila's disgust. The truth of the matter was, she'd spent most of the week screaming awake and there was nothing that she or Joanna could do or say to fix it.

Camila had begun to look more and more drawn as she ruined her sleep and she had promised to give her a chance to rest. She'd protested endlessly, telling her over and over again that her place was by her side, but finally, she'd accepted her need to sleep, and hers as well.

It hadn't been her only reason for sleeping apart, but the other one was less easy to explain to her. She knew that on some level, she needed to keep her away, to make things difficult for her, despite her attempts to put Sunday behind them. The thing was, she really didn't know why she was doing it to her, she just was.

She wasn't proud of it; it just seemed to be what she needed to do.

She'd gone back to her old ways since that Sunday afternoon horror show, grabbing naps whenever she knew it was safe to do so; including, on one occasion, the sofa in Camila's office. It was her old combat tactic of getting some sleep whenever it was available; saving it up, not knowing when she would need it next.

It was the only thing that was getting her through the day, the only thing that was allowing her to function at all.

"Lolo?" she heard a sleep-thick voice say from the doorway as she sat on the bed, trying to calm her breathing. "Babe, are you ok?"

"Yeah," she said as she felt the bed dip next to her and a pair of arms wrap around her waist. "Just another nightmare, that's all."

"I heard, baby. Why didn't you come to bed like you said you were going to?"

"Because you need your sleep, Camz," she said, wrapping her arm around Camila's shoulders. "We had this discussion. You're looking knackered and you have some busy weeks ahead of you. It's not fair on you to lose sleep because of me."

"But it's Friday night, Lolo, and I miss you, and I don't have to be at work tomorrow so it doesn't matter if I lose a little sleep. Besides," Camila said, resting her head on her shoulder, "I'm losing sleep now, aren't I?"

"I guess you are, love," she replied, kissing her hair, "and I should be yelling at you for it."

"But you're not going to, are you?" Camila said slowly, snuggling into her deeply, her voice sounding exhausted.

One thing she did know about her Camila was that she needed her sleep, and her little setback had been affecting her badly. She was actually feeling pretty guilty about waking her all the time, almost as guilty as she felt, in her eyes, for putting her here.

"No, I guess not," she said finally, easing Camila's already sleeping form down onto the bed and slipping the blanket over her, tucking her in carefully before laying down next to her and slipping her arm over her waist protectively. "I guess I'm not going to yell at you at all."