Into You

Chapter 61

Lauren woke with a start from a nightmare about Baghdad, the sound of bullets and screams still ringing in her ears. As she opened her eyes, she saw Camila leaning over her, eyes looking hurt.

"Hey," Camila said, her hand still caught up in Lauren's hair, "sleep well?"

"Not really," she replied, rubbing her eyes with her forearm, causing Camila to pull back her hand.

"Where did you go last night, baby?" Camila asked softly and Lauren internally winced at the pain in her voice. "I was worried about you."

"Couldn't sleep," she replied, "so I went out for a drive."

"Where did you go?" Camila pressed, ever so slightly beginning to piss her off.

"I just drove around," she said, trying to avoid answering the question.

"All night?" Camila continued, pressing the interrogation.

"All night, Camila, Jesus fucking Christ, I drove around all night, then I came back, ok? What more do you fucking want from me?"

She let her tiredness, her frustration and her need for Camila to back the fuck off leak out into her voice for the first time in their relationship causing the brunette to recoil. She felt a thin sliver of guilt creep into her heart, but she ignored it; knowing she was acting for the greater good.

It hurt her to see Camila in pain like that. Of course it did, but she needed to let her go... she knew that now. Ever since the brunette met her, she had brought her danger, right back to that very first day when they were barely on speaking terms.

"Hey," Camila replied softly, composing herself swiftly, "I wasn't starting an argument. I was worried, that's all."

"No need," she replied dryly, "I can look after myself, you know,"

"I'm not sure you can, Lauren," Camila said finally biting back, squaring her shoulders at Lauren as she sat back, her hackles obviously rising. "In fact, I think it's quite the opposite. I think you need to talk to someone about all of this..."

"Oh you do, do you?" Lauren snapped, "Made me an appointment with Joanna already, have you?"

"No," Camila snapped back, standing up, "but maybe I should, it sounds like you need it!"

"Oh really, you're some fucking kind of expert, aren't you?" she shouted, wishing the girl would just fuck off and leave her alone.

"Actually I am," Camila shouted angrily, "remember? We need fucking help, Lauren; you and me, we've been through something awful and we need someone to help us get through it because fuck knows we're doing a shitty job of it ourselves."

"Something awful?" she sneered back at her, "that wasn't awful; you want to know what's awful, hun? Watching your best friend die in front of you is awful, tasting his fucking blood on your lips as he dies, that's awful; spending month after month under attack is awful, watching your friends, the people you've spent your life with die for no fucking reason... that's fucking awful, hun. Worst of all? Sitting next to a hospital bed watching your mother die...that's more than fucking awful. Getting the fuck away from an ambush unharmed? That's fucking nothing; that's like a holiday for me."

"I wouldn't call what happened to Nomrani being unharmed, Lo," Camila retorted, ignoring her jibes and hitting a very raw nerve, rendering her speechless for a second. She watched Camila take a deep breath, closing her eyes and composing herself carefully.

"I don't want to fight with you, Lauren," Camila said in her best soothing voice. "I was worried about you, that's all. You scared the shit out of me last night when you left without saying goodbye."