The Reaper's Touch

17. Am I Not A Gentle Soul ?

I sat in the large tub of Ezra's bathroom, but kept the shower-head running to let it soak me from the crown of my head on down.

As always, I couldn't hear a sound as Ezra slipped his way into the bathroom and knelt down over the tub. But his energy was so thick and the tingles it'd sent through my fingertips and toes was hard to ignore.

"I know, I know." I sniffled, "I'll get use to it. It'll get easier. It'll come.. natural." The word coming out of my mouth alone made me sick.

He stroked through my hair, sighing out, which was the first sound he'd made since entering. When he touched me, the tingles burst through me, coating over any sickly feeling I'd had before.

"May I join you?"

"It's your tub." I pouted.

"You have the right to want your space."

"Even Reaper's can show chivalry."

"I was once a man."  He said, with a tone you could almost mistake for pride, which took me by complete surprise.

I smiled, even knowing he couldn't see it. "A good one it seems."

He slipped in the tub behind me, the inside of his legs brushing the outside of my own, lips lightly touching my ear as he placed soft kisses before he spoke again.

"Mm, I wish that I could agree."

I was afraid to ask how long it'd been since he was alive, but I was afraid of that answer right now. "Did you do good things for people?" I settled with.

"On many occasions. Though, not enough."

"Do you miss it? Being alive.. well, if you even remember? I'm sorry.. that's too personal. Don't answer that."

"Yes, Ember, I remember it well. Too well, I guess that's what bitters me most, more than the majority of others that have passed. I actually remember the horrors of being mortal and I'll forever remain in the horrors of what lies in my afterlife."

"But you don't have to. Do you?"

He didn't speak, but the motion of his upper body indicated to me that he'd leaned down, waiting for me to further explain.

I only gave one simple reply.

"Emberline."

"Is she what this is about?"

"How did she die? And you know I don't mean a mortal death. Her soul.. how did it-"

"Emberline was different." He cut me off, figuring the point I was trying to make. "Yes, she and you share qualities about yourselves. The name, certain features, but apart from that, you two shared the need to have what makes you feel human. What makes you feel alive again. She clung to the need for life. To save lives because she no longer had hers."

"Saving lives? I thought Reapers took lives."

"Not a thought. A fact."

"Then how could a Reapress want to save lives?"

"Tonight, how did you feel when I withdrew his soul from the vessel?"

"He wasn't just some soul in a vessel, he was a man. He was alive, he had loved ones, and even being a drunk with bad manners, he gave what he had into this world and all I could do was help to take him out of it. I felt.. like a murderer.. trying to make a victim feel less of a victim, and more.. at peace. But I failed."

"That's what she thought, that she'd failed."

I made a face that he couldn't see. "I guess we have more in common than you let on."