I need you //Book one.

Regret

Bellamy POV

I woke up at 9 in the morning. I had a massive headache, I don't even remember half of the stuff that happened last night. But um, I remember the fight I had with Clarke. That was the one thing I didn't want to remember, that's why I got wasted last night. I have no idea where she got to, all I know is that she stormed out after our fight. No one saw her after that. I was furious with Clarke, what I told her was so personal that only her and Octavia knew about it... and the girl I hurt...

I was messed up when it happened. I had to go to rehab after that, but it didn't fix me entirely. I still have continuous nightmares about what I did, who I became. I was a monster. But was that demon still lingering behind my shadows?
All I know, is that I become a better person when I'm with Clarke. But I think I stuffed it up with her last night...

I decide to take a trip to her house at 11am. I need to know if she made it home safely, if she is okay.
I pull up outside her house, only to find another car. I knew it didn't belong to Clarke nor her mother.
It was a ute type of car. It had to belong to a boy. My eyes grew with anger and sadness. I was contemplating getting out of my car and going inside, when the door opened....

My eyes widened at the sight of a man walking out of her house, he waved goodbye as she leaned against the door frame waving and saying "thanks again, for last night" this man smirked as he nodded. He got into his ute, as he drove off in my direction. I gave him a death stare as he passed my car. He intimidated me, he was with my princess last night?!

I practically jumped out of my car and ran to the front door. When she noticed me she closed the door as fast as she could. "Clarke! Please open up! I need to talk to you!"

"Go away Bellamy!" She said from inside the house. "I don't want to see you ever again!"

My heart fell to my feet. "Clarke please! I'm begging you!-"

"Bellamy! Go away before I call the police!"

"Clarke- I- please! I-I love you!"

There was silence for a few seconds until she replied "well, I don't love you! Leave me alone!"

I heard her footsteps walk away from the door. A tear escaped my eye as I cupped my mouth with my hands. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "Clarke please I need you" I whispered. But I knew she wasn't coming back. It was over between Clarke and I, but I didn't want to believe it....

Clarke POV

He said it, he said he loved me. I'm an emotional wreck right now. All these memories I had with Bellamy come flooding back. Did I do the right thing? Letting him go, for good? My heart regretted everything I just said, but my head was in another world. A world without Bellamy, without heartache...

I tried my best to let him go. I deleted his phone number, our photos together, it made me cry but I knew it was for the best. I needed to move on and so did he...

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2 months passed, I thought about going to see Bellamy a couple times but I never gave in. I changed schools, I got a job, to keep myself distracted. I did see Octavia occasionally, but I never went to her house...

I went out with roan a few times, just to dinner, or to the movies. I really don't think I want a relationship again right now, but I will see where this leads...

My mom was sick, really sick. One morning I found her, barely alive on the kitchen floor. She apparently has a tumour in her brain, they said they can't operate as the risk of it failing is in the high 90's.. I didn't know what I'd do without my mom, god knows where my dad is at this moment. Not that he cares at all.

The tumour has apparently spread to other parts of her brain. They say I only have under a month left with her. I intend to spend it by her side, making her laugh, giving her love, memories, happiness..

I take her out in the wheelchair sometimes. Just normally to the lake, or to the park. We can't really go anywhere else, as the doctors can't allow it...
Roan was the assistant doctor for my mom. He was the one who always told me, to not give up hope. I didn't until, one day, she had a seizure. We were talking and she just started shaking, her whole body was shaking. I had to wait outside her door, it was killing me, I didn't know what was happening to my mom..

Finally all the nurses and doctors came out, they had sad looks on their faces. I stood there looking at everyone of them as they walked out. I was asking for answers without even talking. Tears were streaming down my face.. Roan was the last to come out, he put his hands on my arms. "Clarke" he said with a croaky voice "it's time to say goodbye."

"Wha- no- she was fine- she was just talking!" I yelled as I bawled my eyes out. "No this can't be happening! Not yet- no, I can't- what am I gonna do without- I can't do this with out her!" I fell to the ground. Roan caught me, he hugged me. "I'm so sorry Clarke" he whispered.

He pulled me back up, and stood me up straight. "She's on life support at the moment, but soon you're going to have to make the decision to turn it off" I nodded and he walked away. I stood there in the hall staring at my mom. I went and sat on the chair that was next to the bed. I held her hand and put my head on her chest.

"I love you mom, so much. I don't know how I'm gonna do this without you! How am I going to graduate? Get married? Who's going to walk me down the isle? I know ever since dad left, you agreed to walk me down the isle. How am I going to be a mom without you? Jeez I could barely take care of a fish." I said with a giggle. "I need you mom. Please stay with me, by my side through all of life's Challenges." I sat there crying into her chest for what felt like 3 hours or more. I decided I needed someone here with me, I decided to ring Octavia.

"Hello?" I said with a croaky voice"
"Clarke?"
"Bellamy? W-where's Octavia? I need to talk to her" I hadn't talked O bell for almost 2 months.
"She's in the shower, Clarke what's wrong? You sound like you've been crying.."
I burst out in tears "my moms -dying, Sh-she's on life support. I need Octavia!"
"Oh my gosh, Clarke. I'm so sorry"
I didn't know what to say to his words "please i need Octavia, ca- can you tell her to come to the hospital? Please."
"Yeah I will tell her-"
I hung up instantly.. I looked back over at my mom, she looked so peaceful. I had to let her go, but I needed O here with me.

About 10 long minutes later I was standing in the corridor waiting for Octavia. The door was pushed open and there she was. She came running to me, she had tears in her eyes. When she hugged me I just started to cry helplessly. I opened my eyes and I saw Bellamy. Octavia released our hug and I looked towards Bellamy. I ran up to him and hugged him. I could tell He wasn't sure what was happening at first but he wrapped his arms around me so tight. He kissed my forehead. We released our hug and I saw Octavia sitting by my moms bed, holding her hand. Bellamy and I walked into the room.

"I wanted you here with me- because- I need to turn her life support off and I don't want to be alone when it happens" I said quietly. She nodded.

A/N
I cried writing this. It's so emotional, I tried to make Clarkes reaction as real as I could. Like when she didn't finish sentences and she started new ones. I'm pretty sure that's what happens when your overwhelmed..
Thanks so much for over 150 reads that's amazing! xoxo