Denial

Chapter 19

Maya POV

Lucas and I were about to sign the papers for the house. We were meeting up with her now to make it a done deal. We both worked today so we met each other at the realtors office. I didn't tell him this but I was starting to have second thoughts on this whole thing. As much as I loved the house and Lucas I was beginning to feel like we were rushing things. It's only been 5 months that we have been together. I was starting to wondering if we maybe shouldn't wait awhile longer before buying a house.  Lucas and I walked hand in hand into the realtors office. 

"Hello Lucas and Maya. It's nice to see you again." she said as we sat down in the chairs that were in front of her desk. 

"Nice to see you as well as Claire." Lucas replied. 

"Okay so this shouldn't take us too long. I have the papers here. We will need you to sing both your names on then the house will officially be yours." she said with a smile as she placed some papers in front of us. 

"Thanks Claire." I said with a smile. 

I looked down at the papers and was shocked to see how much Lucas wanted to pay for this house. This made me even more nervous about buying this house together. As she explained more about the papers etc the more my mind went but I began to sign them anyway. While I was signing the papers Claire was telling a story about how she had two clients who bought a house and they ended up breaking up. This struck a chord with me as I signed my name on the very last paper. What was I doing? Lucas took the pen from me and just as he was going to start signing I decided to speak up. 

"Lucas, I can't do this." I said to him and he looked at me a bit confused. 

"Do what?" he said to me. 

"I can't do this house with you." I said before leaving the office. 

Lucas POV

I was so confused by Maya's outburst. I didn't understand what had gotten to her. She had just signed everything and now she was changing her mind. I wish there was a way I could convince her that everything was going to be fine between us. As I sat there debating on if I should follow her out I looked up at Claire who has a concern look on her face. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Claire asked. 

"You know what I'm going to just sign them." I said making a decision on my own. 

"Is that a good idea to do that Lucas?" Claire replied. 

"Yes. I'm going to talk to her. I will figure something out if she really doesn't want this but I am signing the papers anyway and will deal with her later. If anything happens we can just put the house in my name only." 

"Okay if that's what you want." she answered. 

I took a couple of minutes to sign the papers. She told me that the house was officially ours.  As I walked out I noticed Maya's car was gone. The plan was for me to stay at her place tonight so once I began to pull out of the parking lot I made my way to her place. I got there about 10 minutes later and sure enough her car was in the driveway. I turned the car off and made my way inside. She wasn't in the living room area but I could hear the sink and assumed she was probably washing the dishes. Whenever Maya was stressed out she would clean. I walked into the kitchen and over to where she was at the sink. She stood there scrubbing a dish that couldn't be scrubbed anymore. I placed my hand on her shoulder and she turned to look at me. Her face was full of stress. 

"We need to talk." I replied. 

Maya POV

I knew that I wasn't going to get of talking to Lucas. I hadn't even heard him come into the kitchen as I stood there washing the dishes. As I stood there lost in thought I felt a hand on my shoulder. I knew it was him and turned to face him. 

"We need to talk" he said to me and I could tell he had a frown on his face. 

I placed the dish onto the counter and turned back around to face him "Lucas, I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I feel like we are rushing everything. Can't we just be together and buy a house later?" I said to him. 

Lucas sighed and grabbed my hand pulling me over the table. He sat down and pulled me into his lap. "Maya,  you do realize that if something happened between us we could always put the house in my name right?" 

"Yes, I realize that but why can't you just go with what I want? I love you and I want to be with you but I don't want to rush anything." 

I looked at Lucas and could tell he was wanting to same thing but holding it in. "I already signed the papers." he muttered and I could immeaditly feel the anger building up inside of me. I stood up off his lap and looked at him with an annoyed look. 

"You did what? Lucas how could you do that?" I said in frustration. 

"Oh come on Maya. I told you if anything happens we can put it in my name. What got into you anyway you signed your name and then just left?" he asked and I could tell he was getting frustrated too. 

"Just everything, The fact hat we are rushing things, the thought of something happening in our relationship, her story about the couple who bought a house then broke up."  I replied. "Just everything." 

"I'm sorry for signing the papers but I didn't want to lose this house. I even told her if it didn't work out I'd put it in my name. I figured I would talk to you." he answered. 

"You know what I just don't think this relationship with us is working out." I replied and he looked completely defeated. 

"It's not working out because you aren't letting it." he said in frustration. "Will you stop thinking about the past?" he pleaded. 

"I'm sorry Lucas. I just feel like we are getting ahead ourselves. I think we need to slow down." I replied. 

"What are we going to tell Lucy? You are so big on not wanting to break her heart but yet here are you doing it." he said and that stung a little bit. 

"I'll figure it out. She's at Hanna's for a sleep over so I have time to figure it out." I said and I was really trying so hard to hold back the tears. 

"Please don't do this." Lucas sad in almost a whisper. "I want to be with you, our daughter, and our son." 

"I'm sorry." I answered. 

And with that Lucas didn't say anything he just took off out of the kitchen and left me standing there. I knew I hurt him but I just can't deal with all this anxiety. Guess I was going to have to talk to Lucy tomorrow after her sleep over. This should be fun.