Denial

Chapter 28

Maya POV

Today was New Years Eve and I don't know what Lucas has planned for us but I know that he really wanted to celebrate with me. He's already asked my mom and Shawn if they'd mind keeping Lucy to which they have obviously said yes. I was in our room trying to find something to wear for tonight when Lucas walked in.

"I was wondering where you were." he said with a smile as he walked over and sat down on the bed.

"I thought I would try to find something to wear for tonight." I replied as I walked over and straddled him placing my arms around his neck.

"Just put on a pair of your yoga pants and a cute top. You don't need anything fancy." he answered.

"Can't we just stay home, cuddle, and have sex all night?" I asked which caused him to laugh.

"As of late that's pretty much what we've been doing every night." he said and then leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips and then pulled away. "It's our first new years together and I want to make sure its special."

"I know you do and that's why I'm doing this for you. I'm glad I don't have to dress up and I really am looking forward to it." I said to him and kissed him softly again.

Lucas pulled away form the kiss and looked at me with a smile on his face. I watched as he placed his hand on my tummy then look down and back up at me again.

"You're belly is so cute, Maya." he said as he rubbed it gently with his hand.

As Lucas gently rubbed belly, Levi started kicking up a  storm. I looked at Lucas and he was grinning at me as he kept his hand on my belly. 

"Hmm, I think someone heard his Daddy was around." I replied. "And thank's Huckleberry. Sometimes I don't feel like it's cute." 

"Mommy!" Lucy hollered as she came running into our room. 

"What's up baby?" I said to her as she walked up to us. 

"What are you and Daddy doing?" she said as she stood there beside us. 

"You're brother is playing in Mommy's tummy. I was just feeling him move." Lucas said to her. 

"Can I feel?" she asked. 

"You sure can. Let me get off Daddy." I said to her.

I got up off Lucas and laid down on the bed. Lucas laid down beside me and Lucy crawled in between us. I lifted my shirt up and grabbed Lucy's hand placing it on my stomach. 

"He's kicking a lot." she said with a smile. "I can't wait to see him." 

"We're excited too munchkin. 3 more months." Lucas said to her.

"Did I kick you a lot Mommy?" Lucy asked as she kept her hand on my tummy. 

"You did baby. Whenever I would talk to you while you were in my tummy you would kick back." I said with a chuckle and she giggled along with me. 

Lucy turned to look at Lucas "Did you feel me kick Daddy?" 

Lucas looked at Lucy and smiled "I sure did, Munchkin. Although Mommy was rather grumpy when she was pregnant with you so it depended on her mood." he replied. 

I started laughing "I really was." 

"Why were you grumpy Mommy?" Lucy asked.

"I just didn't want Daddy to touch me at times." I said as I put my hand through her hair. 

"Which is the total opposite from this time around because she can't get enough of me now." Lucas said and I shot him a look. 

"Keep talking and we'll see a repeat of when I was pregnant with Lucy." I said to him only causing him to laugh. 

"Oh please. That's got to be the funniest thing you have said in awhile. You can't even go a week at this point." he said and I I flipped him off when Lucy wasn't looking.

Lucy grinned then turned back to look at my stomach. I watched as put her faces just inches away from it. "Mommy and Daddy are crazy but don't worry I'll protect you baby Levi." she said then placed a small kiss on my belly. 

"Hey!" I exclaimed and she looked up at me with a shit eaten grin on her face "Who are you calling crazy? Your dad might be but I'm not." 

Lucas chuckled "This pregnancy has officially made you lose your mind." 

"I think you both did Daddy." Lucy said and before I knew it Lucas had grabbed her and started tickling her.  

The rest of the day was spent hanging out Mom, Shawn, Lucas and Lucy. Once Lucy was put to bed I started getting myself around for whatever Lucas had planned. I showered, did my make up, and curled my hair. I didn't have to dress up but i still wanted to look nice. It's been getting a bit chilly at night so I wore a long sleeve shirt and grabbed a jacket. Lucas was ready and waiting for me so we left when I got downstairs. I took us 10 minutes to get to the destination which turned out to be at Vic Mathias Shores. This year they were doing some fun activities but its the Fireworks show at 10:00 that is held there that he wanted to take me to. We arrived there about 30 minutes before the Fireworks started. It was packed but Lucas and I walked hand in hand until we found a spot to sit at. He put a blanket down and together we sat down on it.  I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me. 

"I'm glad you came with me." he said to me. 

"Me too. " I replied. "Although you better not tell Lucy you took me to a Fireworks show or she's going to be mad that you didn't take her." 

"I won't say anything." he answered. "I'd a brought her but I just wanted it to be us." 

"I know you did." I said to him.

Lucas and I had got lost in conversation as we waited for the Firworks to start. Once they did we kind of got lost in the show. 

"You know what this reminds me of?" he said to me finally breaking the silence between us. 

"What?" 

"New York City when we were 18 and went to the Fireworks show in July before Lucy was born." he said. 

"Awe yeah it does, doesn't it?" I replied back to him. 

"It does and also the Firework shows we'd watch together on the roof of your apartment." he said as he held me tightly. "I was in love with you back then." 

"I know there was a time we had sex on the roof during the fireworks" I chuckled. "And I've loved you for so long too. I'm so happy you broke me of my fear." 

"Me too. Sit up for a minute and look at me." he said and I was kind of confused on why he was asking this. 

I sat up and looked at Lucas by the time I had turned around to face him I saw him sitting  there with a small box in his hand. My heart stopped beating for a moment as I realized what it was. 

"Lucas, what are you doing?" I said in a whisper. 

"Maya, look I know this a bit spontaneous of me but I love you and I love our family so much. I realize I just got you to move in with me but I want to spend the rest of my life with you. There is no one else I'd rather be with than you." he said as he he opened up the box and showed me the beautiful ring that was inside of it. 

I placed my hand on Lucas cheek and pulled him to me kissing him softly then pulling away "Lucas, I love you so much and this ring it's beautiful. There is no one else that I love more except maybe our kids. I don't want to hurt you because I know that you love me to but I can't accept this. It's too soon. I'm so sorry."  I said as the tears ran down my face. 

I couldn't stop myself from crying. I didn't want to hurt Lucas but I also felt this was to soon and I wanted to wait a bit. I just wasn't ready for this yet. I knew it was going to hurt him and by the look on his face I was right. He looked absolutely defeated.  He didn't really say anything to me for the rest of the event. I felt horrible for hurting him but I had to do what I felt was right. After the Fireworks show we went home. However Lucas didn't go home with me he dropped me off and went to his Mom's.  When I got inside our house Mom and Shawn were already asleep. I went up and changed into one of his t-shirts before crawling into bed. Our first New Years together and I felt like I ruined it. It's safe to say that I cried myself to sleep for the first time in awhile.