Eternal Flame (Mature 18+)

Chapter 14

Kristen stole a glance out the corner of her eye at Roman and felt her heart sink. His eyes were small and weary. He looked worried. Kristen knew he hated going to the party but the fact that he was showed that he cared more about pleasing his family and honoring his commitments more than he wanted to admit. But the stress he had been under was starting to show. Every worry line etched on his face was highlighted by the street lights as they drove through the city. The apprehension on his face tugged at her heart and stirred all of her emotions back up. He was driving with one hand; biting the skin on the back of his thumb with the other. He had mentally checked out on her again. He probably forgot she was in the car with him.

Kristen longingly stared at him, willing herself to look away from him. But she couldn't. Something had been building up inside of her for this man all day and as much as she tried to smother it, suffocate it, negate it, and deny it, it kept coming up again. He pissed her off more than anyone she had ever known all her life but it did nothing to squelch the dull ache between her legs, the pounding of her heart, the breathlessness escaping her lips, or the images of the two of them and what they could be dancing around in her mind. She longed to reach out and run her fingers through his hair and tell him everything would be okay but she didn't dare. She couldn't take another rebuff from him. It was just going to have to stay in her mind along with all the other fantasies.

***************

"Happy Birthday!"

From the moment the heavy oak door on the Deans' compound was opened, Kristen and Roman were thrust into an atmosphere of blinding lights, loud music, chaos, and endless cheers. They were immediately inundated with family, friends, well-wishers, reporters, and photographers. Kristen blinked and felt her heart pound at the sudden onslaught of commotion. She and Roman had been quiet the rest of the way to the house, silent on the way up the drive past the endless vehicles that were parked all over the yard, and quiet still as they climbed the steep stone steps to the front door. The air around them had been fraught with tension and quiet insolence; then they were immediately thrust into the crazy madness of showbiz. They were flooded with light and noise and it completely threw them off. Kristen felt like she was the main attraction at a circus.

Suddenly, she felt a hand grab hers tight. She looked up at Roman and saw the terror and fear in his eyes. She could feel his body trembling against hers as they stood in the doorway and immediately felt protective of him and whatever it was he was feeling. He was completely taken off guard just like her. He held her hand tight and wouldn't let go. She put her free hand against his hand holding hers and gave it a tender, reassuring rub. He didn't respond at first so she slightly tugged on his arm. He looked down at her, his eyes flooded with anxiety. He looked like he was struggling to breathe; like he was dry-heaving. She held tender eye contact with him, silently reassuring him and letting him know everything was okay. Momentarily, she saw him visibly relax.

In the midst of all the chaos, no one noticed their unease. Everything happened all at once. Everyone surrounded them, demanding their immediate attention. Idol magazine journalists bombarded them with questions; their pictures were taken; his family and friends were hugging him and talking animatedly to him and introducing themselves to her. Kristen and Roman were mutually on automatic pilot. Politically correct responses were given to the invasive questions. They forced laughter when it was necessary; robotically carried on frivolous conversations about their day together and the contest as a whole. Of course they left out the part where they'd fought like conflicted lovers.

They put their arms around one another and smiled beautifully for pictures for the magazine and whoever else wanted a photo op. Their nerves were settled; they performed almost like a team and it was effortless. At some point, however, they were pulled away from one another and separated. Their hands slowly slipped away from each-other in the barrage and Kristen immediately felt the cold chill of his absence. He looked back at her and she looked back at him; desperation in his eyes; longing in hers. Before long, she had lost sight of him. Just like that, people who had been hovering over her before either followed in the direction Roman had gone or got back to the party festivities. Kristen helplessly looked around her, feeling like an abandoned child in a department store. The lights were now dimmed but bright enough to see everyone clearly and make her way through the wad of bodies present. The house was packed; there wasn't an empty spot anywhere. She estimated there had to be over two-hundred people in the downstairs area alone. Where was Joy? She needed to find Joy.

Her eyes scanned the crowd for Joy but she didn't see her. Or Diego. She did, however, see Nick in the back of the room making out with some too skinny, no ass blond. Alex was all but screwing some brunette on the dance floor as she backed her ass up against him. Well, so much for that shit. Two down; one left. Where was Diego? And why the fuck was the music so loud? She couldn't even hear herself think with all that noise. Whose bright idea was it to play Guns n Roses? Roman wasn't even a Guns n Roses fan. Least, she didn't think he was. Whoever had hired the DJ needed to be slapped.

As if suddenly realizing she was still there, more people began coming up to her and introducing themselves. She didn't know who most of them were. She recognized a few of them as family members she'd seen in magazines, including Roman's older brother and the group's road manager, Antonio. She also met Roman's other brothers Phillip and Chris and finally came face to face with the fifth member of Next Level, Will. He was quite handsome in person and very engaging with her but she felt absolutely no attraction to him. Thank God. Not long after Will walked off, she looked up to see Roman's mother Patricia walking towards her with a bright, friendly smile on her face. Kristen didn't know why but she suddenly felt the need to break camp and flee. This was the one who had birthed the man she spent many sleepless nights fantasizing about. She felt embarrassed. If only his mother knew the steamy shit that went on in her head about her son.

Patricia walked close to Kristen and leaned in to her so she could hear. "Hi sweetheart," she greeted in a sophisticated, northern accent.

Kristen smiled shyly. "Hi."

"I'm Patricia."

"I'm Kristen."

Patricia pulled her in for a tight, long hug. "It is so nice to meet you. Welcome to our home. It's a pleasure to have you here."

"Thank you."

Patricia's eyes swooped over her and she nodded in approval. "You're a very pretty girl."

Kristen blushed in spite of herself. "Thank you Ms. Dean."

"Patricia, please. So, did you enjoy yourself today? Did you have fun?"

"Oh yes, we had a great time," Kristen convincingly lied. "I really enjoyed your son very much. He's a great guy."

"Yes, he is." She looked around the house for a moment; then leaned in closer to Kristen, speaking into her ear. "Thank you so much for spending time with my son and keeping him distracted today. I'm sure you've heard he's been going through a lot. But that all seems to be behind him, at least for the moment."

Kristen shook her head. "I don't know if I kept him distracted."

"Oh I think you did. My son hasn't taken his eyes off of you since the two of you got here. And that's saying something." Patricia gestured in the direction of Roman and Kristen turned around to look.

There were an onslaught of people still gathered around him but Roman's eyes were on her. Penetrating. Intense. And unflinching. But also emotional. Kristen breathlessly gazed back at him, forgetting Patricia was there. She slightly jumped as Patricia touched her arm.

"Thank you," his mother earnestly said.

"Thank you for what?"

"I don't know yet. But I feel like I should thank you. I haven't seen that look in my son's eyes in almost three years."

"What look?"

Patricia nodded towards her son again. "That look."

Kristen self-consciously shook it off and glanced down at the floor. "He's just looking."

"Trust me sweetie, that's not just a look. I know my son. And that look isn't ordinary. I don't know what you've done, but you've done something."

"I'm just a girl that won a contest."

"You're a lot more than that Kristen. Trust me." Patricia leaned in to give her another tight hug, tighter than the one she'd given her the first time. Kristen uneasily hugged her back, perplexed. The matriarch pulled away from her and squeezed her hand. "I'll be talking to you later."

With that, she was gone. Kristen stood there dumbly looking after her, completely confused. Had she seen something Kristen hadn't seen? Cause she hadn't seen shit.