Amelia Merlin and the Game for Okamila

Part 81: The Terrible Tragedy of Blaxton Monatheon

The North was always cold, frigid, stiff and unyielding. Blaxton knew that, he'd spent his entire life there and he'd loved every minute. The eternally frost covered ground was where he'd scraped his knees a hundred times, broken nearly every bone in his body against the black rock that covered the land, and lost all feeling in his toes from the cold. His whole body was marked from the land he lived on, he co-existed with it and he used to love that.

But when Rose came things changed. The ground wasn't as stiff or cold. Suddenly what had been hard and painful was warm and soft. And then the baby came and it all changed again. Blaxton stared into the flames with a half-empty bottle of bourbon in his hand while he remembered his son, his wife, his love.

"My lord?" the maid tapped on the door before entering. He didn't acknowledge her but she was used to it at this point. He never talked much anymore. "The man you asked for is here."

"Send him in."

"Right away, my lord." she nodded and turned to leave.

"Mia?" he kept his eyes on the blue flames of the fire but he felt her turn and look at him.

"Yes, my lord?"

"Thank you."

She smiled and bowed her head. "Of course, my lord." Then she left him alone again in the cold room. It wasn't long before a man with disastrously wild, white hair walked into the room. Blaxton stood up and swayed slightly, not realizing how much he had already had to drink.

"My lord," the old man bowed his head but Blaxton ignored the mark of respect.

"Do you want a drink, Asclepius?" the Lord of Castle Rock held up a small goblet as an offer but the man shook his head.

"No, thank you, my lord." his hands twisted in knots at his side so Blaxton poured him one anyways. As he handed the silver cup to Asclepius he started to speak.

"You must be wondering why I summoned you here." he raised his eyebrows and the man nodded so Blaxton continued. "I don't know how much you know about me, Asclepius. Anything you've heard could be misinformation, you know how these fucking rumours are these days. So I think you need to hear the whole goddamn story in order to hear exactly why I need your bloody help. Sit down," he gestured to a chair by the fire. "Please, we may be a while."

Blaxton poured himself another cup before standing by the fire, the blue light illuminated his face as he told the old man the story of how they got there. "I think it all started the day we told the Queen we would fight for her. You should have seen it, Asclepius, she was incredible. I knew without a doubt she was Emrys, she was the one who would save us all and restore this kingdom to what it should be. She had this ball of light that filled the room and when I looked at her, I swear I saw a bloody angel. I still believe she's the one, you know. I've never doubted my loyalty to her, but I can't deny that was the day my horror really began. Because she was the one who arranged my wedding. That summer I was married to Rose Dellisandro. Have you ever seen her before?"

"No, my lord. But I've heard she's lovely." Asclepius hadn't touched his drink and was sitting rather awkwardly in his seat but Blaxton decided he didn't really care, the old him would have insisted the man relax and have some of his extremely expensive bourbon, but he really didn't care.

"Oh, so I see the rumours are worse than I thought." he chuckled. "Rose isn't lovely, she is love. If the gods ever created a perfect creature it was her. She is not just beautiful, I mean don't get me wrong, she's the most beautiful, radiant fucking person I've ever seen, the world has ever seen. But she is so much more than that. She is kindness and grace and she was mine. Then we had the baby. I thought I would never love anything anywhere near as much as I loved Rose, then we had the baby. Silvio." Blaxton felt his mouth dry up and he coughed slightly. "I don't think I can really convince you with words, what he was like. A while after he was born, my father died and my little brother disappeared. I never bloody connected with Don, but I loved him as any brother would, and I don't know where he is. My father is dead, my sister is off doing her own adventures, my wife and son are both  missing and presumed dead. So do you understand now, Asclepius?"

"No, I'm not quite sure I know what you mean, my lord."

"Right." he sighed. "I've lost them, I've lost everything and I can't do it anymore. I can't keep waking up knowing each day is going to be fucking hell because it's not getting any better, it's getting worse and worse and I don't want it. The worst of it isn't even behind me, no I know better than that. The worst is going to be a fucking year from now, when I'm walking in the street and I still hear her voice, or see a kid with silver hair and I think the gods have finally brought them back to me but then I'm wrong and I'm alone again. Or the worst is when I'm walking down a corridor and it's so fucking quiet and I can't drown out his laugh from my head and it's all too much." He sounded empty, it was beyond sadness or misery. Blaxton Monatheon was a shell of a person because the hole that had been left was too much for anything to fill. "So I want it gone, take my memories. Please, Asclepius, I can't keep wasting away here. I have a war to fight and I can't do it if they're still in here." he pressed his large hands to the sides of his head, as though he could push them from his mind.

The old man stood up and nodded. "I'll help you. I'll make you a man again, I promise, you won't remember anything about him or her."

A/N Okay guys, so I've been thinking about Blaxton for the longest time because I feel so bad that all the worst things in the world seem to be happening to him. And I'm wondering if you guys think any other character has it worse? Is it Jeremy, who is dying slowly and can't do anything to stop it? Or Rose, who lost her child? Or Callie who is banished to live eternally alone on an island and must be going crazy now? Oliver is forced to smile around the girl he loves and watch her be crazy in love with another guy. Or maybe, Amelia, who grew up in an abusive home, had her brother betray her, literally has the weight of an entire kingdom on her shoulders, and is one of the loneliest characters in the book?

I'm curious to hear who you guys think is the worst off! I think it shows what you value, depending on who you think is suffering the most and that is really interesting for me as an author, to see what my readers are valuing in the characters!

Also, do you think Blaxton made the right choice? What would you do?

Anyways! Sorry about my rambling but I would love to know what you think because this has been picking my mind for the longest time!