The Shoey Diaries

Chapter 10 - But I don't want you to Die

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A/N: Thanks for Reading! I have so many votes & comments its unreal!(to me, anyway.) I want to apologize beforehand if this chapter goes up late. Late means later than I normally put it up which is like nine am. But I've got so much crap to do today and I don't even know how long it'll take. Plus, I'm typing this on my android which is extremely hard to type on. So, yay!:) But Thank you So much for reading, I hope you guys are liking it. Sorry for not putting this Author's Note at the end. Lol, May the odds be ever in your favor; goooodbye c; 

*I, in fact, did not have WiFi, so I just typed this whole thing in Microsoft Word and I'm home now; Transferring it to Wattpad. I typed the whole thing on my phone so I apologize for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. I was in a Rush.*
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Chapter 10 - But I don't want you to Die

* Joey's POV *

Why was she crying? The nurse and I were in Shane's room and she couldn't tell me the problem because she was crying so much. Nurses were supposed to act professional; was she a fan or something? 
"Joey?" Through the crying, I heard the one voice I convinced myself I'd never hear again. "Shane!" He was awake. I ran to his side and took his hand; I knew he'd be sore. Definitely too sore for me to hug him. He had bandages around his head and a huge patch of gauze ( that was visible through his hospital gown ) covering the area where his rib cage was. He looked pathetic. I kissed his hand over and over; I couldn't imagine what it was like...to wake up to so much light after being out for so long. "Shane, I love you..you got that?" I whispered, leaning closer to him. He nodded weakly. I knew this was supposed to be a happy moment. My Shane was awake! But...it didn't feel right.

     I got my explanation ten seconds later.  
"Joseph, you need to leave." The doctor said, walking in. The nurse was gone. I shook my head. No way I was leaving Shane. "Did Ms. Walton, the nurse that was in here, tell you what was going on?" I shook my head again. "He's got a Brain Hemorrhage. Bleeding on the Brain. The swelling is too bad, I have to put him in a Medically Induced Coma. I can't keep conscious Shane here." 
I knew any second I was going to blow. I dropped Shane's hand, shaking my head repeatedly. "No! You're killing him! He's alive, he's okay! Why can't you see that? He doesn't need to be put in a coma again, he'll be okay..." Tears were pricking at my eyes and I hated feeling like a baby. I just didn't want Shane going through this torture. I was I could fix him.
"Joseph, he's going to die if I don't put him back in his coma. It'll be fine once he's out, we'll do a CT Scan, Possibly an MRI. We'll find the problem and fix it. But you have to trust me."

* Sawyer's POV *

Before the ambulances and paramedics showed up I apologized to Joey in a drunken tone. Then I did the most sensible thing I thought to do. I ran. 

Now here I was, wandering around a parking garage; Looking for my car. I parked it here the morning before, outside my favorite Casino; Right after Shane and Joey went back to sleep. I guess I was so drunk this morning I walked back home. I felt around in my pocket for my keys. Yep, there they were. I'm such an idiot. 

Joey was a good friend..he wouldn't throw me under the bus no matter how much of a dick I was. God, I screwed up. What was wrong with me? I only knew of one thing to do. After I found my car, I'd get in it and drive. Leaving everything behind. My clothes, my cameras, my equipment, my dog, my friends...I'd give it all up. I'd drive until I was sure no one there knew me; unless I was familiar from YouTube. I wouldn't think twice about everything I'd lost. As soon as I was at this new place, I'd find a hotel and crash for the night. I had my wallet on me...I don't see how I didn't leave it somewhere or get it stolen. All I had left was my car, what money I had, the clothes on my back, and myself. I didn't need anything else. I was going to rebuild my life and get help. Talk to people. Get a new view of the myself and the world. I screwed up my old life, there was no getting that back. Old Sawyer was dead. 

* Joey's POV *

Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to Shane? I left after I agreed to trust the doctor; Dr. Rial. He was a good man..I just hoped he took care of Shane. He said something about running the tests today for whether he'd need surgery or just medication. I tuned his words out. I just wanted this to be over. I was back in "my" room, just laying on the bed. There was a bathroom connected to it but I didn't feel like showering. Plus I'd have to put the same clothes back on and there was no way I was leaving the hospital to get clean clothes; No way, No way. Even if Shane was in good hands here...I wouldn't leave him for anything right now. I missed Sawyer. I never loved him as more than a friend...I just wish I could've helped him through his struggles. He had finally snapped.

I buried my face in the pillow. This was my fault! Shane in the hospital, Sawyer acting crazy. It was all because of me! I felt tears pooling in the fabric of the pillow but I didn't care. If I had asked Sawyer why he was acting so weird when we had lunch that day, Maybe this wouldn't have happened. It was crazy how the world worked that way...

If I hadn't have gotten out of bed to talk to Sawyer and then have to turn him down...This wouldn't be happening.

Everything was my fault. If Shane dies, It was my fault! I was responsible...I was a murderer.

    I killed Shane! 

I put the pillow over my head, trying to drown out my sobs. They were racking my body relentlessly and I had no way to stop it. I wouldn't live another second after I lost Shane. I refused to continue breathing when he couldn't anymore.