The Shoey Diaries

Chapter 16 - I'm Sorry, Tyler

Chapter 16 - I'm Sorry, Tyler

* Joey's POV *

"Joey?" Tyler whined. "Just tell me." What was I supposed to tell him? I guess all I could tell him was the truth. Shane walked over and kissed my cheek before raising a brow. "Everything alright over here?" Tyler nodded. "Yeah, everything's fine." I muttered. "Well, people are going to start leaving...If there isn't anything else we need to tell them..." Shane said, an inquisitive tone to his voice. "It's fine. I just need to talk to Tyler, okay?" He nodded and went back to our guests. "Tyler, you promise not to freak?" I asked. I was starting from the beginning. The day that Shane admitted his feelings for me. The day Sawyer tried to admit his. "Promise. What's so bad?" I sighed, grabbing Tyler's arm and leading him upstairs. I pulled him into my room, Shutting the door behind us. "Let me explain everything?" I asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. Tyler nodded. 

"This was before Shane and I got together....I was at lunch with Sawyer. He was acting insanely weird, something was off." I started, swallowing hard; avoiding Tyler's gaze. "He kept changing the subject of conversation no matter what it was. He was sweating and fidgety. I wondered what was wrong but I didn't ask. I knew Sawyer was strong, he could take care of himself. And if he really needed help, He would say something. And I would've helped him...But he never said a word." I felt myself tearing up. If only Tyler knew...It was my fault for all the bad things that happened. 

Sawyer asked me if I wanted to go home and do a challenge video. I refused, saying I was busy. Maybe later. I wasn't busy....I just didn't want to see Sawyer in the state he was in any longer. If I would've accepted, I would've never gone to Shane's. I would've never became Shane's boyfriend. Sawyer would've never kissed me. Shane never would've got hurt. Sawyer never would've left. It was all my fault....All of it. "Joey? You okay?" Tyler asked, cutting into my hazy thoughts. I just nodded and continued, "When we were leaving the restaurant, Sawyer asked if I wanted to go home and do a video. I said no, that I was busy." I leaned against the door, running a hand through my hair. I was going to break down by the time this story was over...I knew it. 

"I wasn't busy." I whispered, then continued in a louder voice. "I didn't want to see Sawyer the way he was any longer. Watching him in his torture...tortured me. Especially because I couldn't help him. I was useless. So I just started driving aimlessly around town. Trying to waste time. To make it seem I'd been out doing things, so that in case I came home and Sawyer was there...I'd been out a long time. Shane called...he asked me to come over. He sounded like Sawyer..like there was something battling him on the inside. He wanted me to go over there, to his and Lisa's house. I did. He admitted his love for me, in front of Lisa. And I the same. It was perfect...That was when you walked in...and Shane asked you to leave." Tyler nodded; I knew he remembered. My voice kept getting quieter and quieter and then loud again and then go back to being quiet. Like I was fighting my own consciousness. I didn't know what was happening..Just that I needed to tell this story. And Someone needed to hear it. 

"Shane moved in with me. That very day. It was amazing, I felt like I was finally happy. Sawyer came home and he was fine. He said Shane could live with us. Sawyer seemed back to normal. I was glad. But that night I had an odd dream...I woke up to Sawyer, calling my name. He said he'd heard me flip out but I was dreaming. He also said he needed to talk to me. I thought it was weird..I mean, it was the middle of the night. But I went anyway." I slid down to the floor, my back against the door. I felt drained, almost. It was a weird feeling. "We went to his room..and he told me he was gay. For me. He kissed me. I let him...Shane saw it. Shane broke down...He said some insane stuff but he was right. I felt horrible...I felt like if Shane didn't forgive me, I wouldn't be able to live. Shane started hitting Sawyer and Sawyer just let him, never hitting him back. It was all my fault, too. Pretty soon, Shane was out of adrenaline and I carried him to bed. When we woke, Sawyer was gone. I was glad. We told our families that day...And when I was skyping my mom...a drunk Sawyer came home." I stopped to catch my breath. "He started beating Shane. Shane was dying...It was that bad. I called 911, all the while screaming at Sawyer. I told him I hated him. I told him I never wanted to see him again...It wasn't true..I was in the moment, It wasn't true." I felt tears start to run down my face and Tyler slid out of the bed, sitting next to me. He started rubbing my back.

"The ambulances came and took Shane to the hospital. He was in a coma. I later found out he had a Brain Hemorrhage. He woke up...But they put him right back in his coma again. Thankfully, He didn't need surgery. Just certain medication. A month later..Which was yesterday; by the way...He was all better. I was so happy. But Sawyer never came home.." I trailed off. My vision was blurring and I was breathing heavy. Tyler was looking at me, concern painted across his features. "Sawyer's gone, Tyler! He's gone and it's all my fault! I did this, I did everything!" I was shouting, sobs wracking my shoulders. I was breathing faster...heavier. "Shane!" Tyler screamed, hitting the door. He couldn't get the door open because I was blocking it. I never wanted to move from this spot. I never wanted to do anything ever again. That was my punishment and I deserved it. I deserved everything I got from now on.

I was seeing stars. My head was hurting. "Shane! SHANE!" Tyler yelled, louder. I heard Shane on the other side of the door, "Tyler?! Joey!?" My neck was going slack. My head was drooping. I couldn't hold my head up any longer. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. I didn't want to. The only thing I needed to do...was apologize for what I caused. This mess I started. "I'm Sorry, Tyler." 

The world went black.

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I'll probably update this fic again today. I've already started on the next chapter and if I get it done today, I'll post it. I also already started on Criminal so if I update them both, I'll be extremely happy. (:

OH MY GOD, GUYS! THANK YOU IMMENSELY FOR ALMOST 800 READS! GAAAAH, THANK YOU! It's insane. Gosh, thank you sososo much for Reading & Voting! And I'm sorry for not updating yesterday ;/ God, Thank you guys again & I hope this chapter was alright. May the odds be ever in your favor, goooodbye. cx 

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