Chapter 49

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"Are you okay? You've barely said anything in over an hour and that's so not a normal Lorelai behavior..." Lane asked from the passenger seat.

Lorelai realized her mind was a million miles away and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just freaking out a little bit. Kind of dreading going home" she said.

"Really? Why? Trouble in paradise already?" Lane teased.

Lorelai shook her head, concentrating on the road before her. "No, nothing like that. I'm just trying to figure out exactly how I'm going to tell Luke, you know? I'm really not sure how he'll react" she said.

"Hey, I've known Luke all my life and one thing I can tell you is, if he can accept a 12yr old daughter he didn't know about from a woman who was horrible to him, then he would jump at the chance to have a baby with the love of his life that he's married to FINALLY after all these years" Lane pointed out.

Lorelai nodded, but she couldn't conceal the worry from her face. "It's just, we talked about having kids. We talked about surrogacy and adoption and everything in between, but he was set against it. He doesn't want anymore children. He says we each have our girls, and we don't need one together, no matter how much I wanted one. I'm just afraid he's going to think I planned this, or tricked him somehow. Hell, when I didn't get my period two months in a row, I just assumed that that was the end of that for me. I figured menopause was setting in, and here I thought the mood swings had just confirmed that. I had no idea I was pregnant!" she explained.

"So how did you figure it out? And how far along do you think you are?" Lane asked.

"I'm pretty sure I got pregnant before Rory did. I mean, I've missed two periods, so at least that far" Lorelai said.

"Wow, that's so crazy. Well, at least if you have yours first, then it would still be older than its niece or nephew!" Lane said with a laugh.

Lorelai smiled distantly with a slight nod.

"Wow, this is really bothering you!" Lane realized.

"Yeah, ya think?" Lorelai said quickly, but she wasn't snapping, just on edge.

"Then I'll come with you!" Lane decided.

"Come with me? As in, shield me from the devastating blows my husband is sure to throw at me?" Lorelai asked in surprise.

Lane laughed. "He's not going to throw anything at you on my watch" she promised.

They pulled up to the house and Luke ran outside to great them.  "You're back!  You lost half of your crew...  But you're back!" he said happily.

"Luke, I'm pregnant!" Lorelai blurted and Lane's mouth fell to the floor, baffled at why she thought that this was the appropriate way to tell him.

*********

"So... If I'd have known we were going to just drive together in silence this whole time, I might not have offered to take you..." Robert pointed out.

Paris let out a deep sigh and nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry" she said.

"Want to talk about what happened the other night?" he asked, casually looking over at her.

"A huge part of me says there's nothing I would rather talk about LESS than what happened that night, but I also know that wouldn't get us anywhere, so I guess so" she said.

He was quiet in thought for a few moments, deliberating how he was going to approach his next question. "Why were you so upset that night?" he asked bluntly.

She sighed again and brought her hands to her mouth. "Because I'm married" she whispered.

He looked at her in surprise. "You're married!?" he exclaimed, completely taken off guard.

She nodded and looked out the window.  "You don't have to tell me how horrible of a person I am" she whispered ashamed of herself.

He stammered a moment before finally bringing himself to form full sentences. "I have yet to decide whether I think that you're horrible or not...  Unless...  Did you just use me?  Was I just a way to get back at him, or for you to feel better about yourself?" he asked, trying to make sense of it all.

She shook her head.  "No.  Doyle and I have been legally separated for years, we just haven't officially terminated the marriage yet" she whispered.

"So, you and he are one hundred percent no longer together?" he asked.

"One hundred percent" she promised. 

"Then Paris, why did it upset you so badly after we had sex?  That was a critical blow to the ego, you know" he said.

"I know.  And I have no idea why it upset me so badly.  I guess I just felt guilty because I enjoyed being with you so much.  You are just so different from what I'm used to, and the night we had was beyond incredible - I just felt like maybe it was too good to be true.  Maybe I don't deserve someone as attractive and as interesting as you.  Someone to keep me on my toes and deliver an entirely new set of challenges for me.  I freaked out" she admitted.

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips and he took her hand in his.  "Beyond incredible, eh?" he asked with a wink. 

"Oh come on, don't pretend like you didn't know it was fantastic" she teased, looking over at him with a shy smile.

"So...  You're married, but you're legally separated ...  And you have two kids together..." he reiterated. 

She nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.  "Yeah, that about sums it up" she said. 

"And you're one hundred percent done with your husband and do not plan to ever get back together with him?" he asked.

"No, he's definitely not the same person I fell in love with.  I will always have love for him, especially when it comes to my children, but I will never be able to be 'in love' with Doyle McMaster ever again" she promised.

"Then I don't see anything telling me I should be running away screaming.  It's not ideal, of course, but I think you're a fantastic woman and I would be a fool to not give it a try.  But I mean hell, what do I know?  I've never even been in a relationship at all.  Just one giant embarrassing string of one night stands" he said.

"Really?  You've never had a girlfriend and you're in your thirties!?" she asked in complete surprise.

"Are you seriously judging me right now!?" he teased, laughing out loud. 

Paris laughed too, totally not meaning to come across that way.  "Yeah, well, I guess maybe we both have ammo to  judge each other a little bit, huh?" she teased back.

"So tell me.  Where do we go from here?" he asked.

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