Chapter 62

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When Logan and Finn walked back into my room, the house doctor was there checking things over. 

"Well, we caught it at a good time, so I don't see any reason why we can't get you out of here by tomorrow afternoon.  We'll get you filled up with some fluids in the meantime, and send you home with a stronger dose of the anti-nausea medicine than what your doctor prescribed for you today, and hopefully, we can nip this in the bud before it gets any worse on you" he said.

"How are the babies?  Are they still doing okay?" Logan asked from the doorway.

I looked up in surprise.  I hadn't heard them come back in.

"Yes, they are doing well, we have been checking on them periodically to make sure there's no distress, but so far, everything seems to be going smoothly on their ends" the doctor assured him.

Logan let out a sigh of relief as he walked over and handed me my cup of coffee.  I smiled to him in exhaustion.  "That's really good news!" I whispered, taking a drink.  Once the liquid warmed my chest, I smiled again.  "And good coffee, too.  Thank you" I whispered.

"Now you get some rest, Rory, and I will come in to do a final checkup on you tomorrow morning, and then you'll be able to be on your way" the doctor said.

I nodded and watched as the doctor left the room.

"Well now, that certainly IS some good news, eh Love?" Finn asked with a smile.

"How are you feeling, babe?" Logan asked, kissing my forehead.

"I'm okay, but I think I upset your sister" I whispered.

"Honor will be fine, don't you worry about her.  Just get you some rest and get out of this hospital" he said. 

I smiled and nodded, hardly able to keep my eyes open.  Logan looked at his phone and realized it was still early in the evening.

"Finn and I are going to run to get a bite to eat.  Is there anything we can get you before we go?" Logan asked.

I shook my head.  "No, but thank you; I'm just going to get some sleep" I said.

He nodded and both men kissed me on the forehead before they walked back out the door.

As they walked down the long corridor towards the elevator, Logan let out a deep sigh.

"Everything okay, Mate?" Finn asked.

"I don't know.  I just know I've got to get her snapped out of this, or I'm afraid Honor's going to cause some real trouble if she can prove that Rory doesn't want the babies" Logan confided to his friend.

"Do you really think Honor would do that to either one of you, Mate?" Finn asked in concern. 

Logan shrugged.  "I have no idea, but I think it's possible.  She's convinced now that Rory's going to do something stupid – maybe to hurt herself or the babies – all because she supposedly said she didn't want them.  But my Ace would never hurt anyone.  She's just overwhelmed and mad at life right now, but she would still never hurt herself of those babies" he said confidently.

"Of course she wouldn't, Mate.  Mother's been taking care of us for years, she's not about to turn her back on her own two children" Finn pointed out.

"Exactly.  We just need to get some damage control underway, so that proportions aren't blown around here" Logan said.

There was a soft knock on the door, and I figured it was the night nurse coming in to make her rounds.  I was surprised to see Honor standing in the doorway.

"Hi?" I whispered in confusion.

"Rory, I just came to apologize for my behavior before.  I freaked out, and chances are, it was for nothing.  But I impulsively jumped to conclusions, and for that I'm so sorry.  I'm sure I hurt your feelings, but that was never my intention, and I hope that I can make it up to you" she said.

"What happened to cause you to get so upset over what I'd said?  I don't think I said anything too out of the ordinary..." I said.

She walked over to me, and sat down beside me on the bed.  She paused for a moment, and then she took a deep breath and took my hand in hers.  "It was because even though you barely said anything of the sort, the way you talked about this not being your plan, and you would've considered adoption if Logan wasn't the father, reminded me of how I felt when I was pregnant with my oldest.  I wasn't ready to be a mother.  I wanted children, sure, but I thought I would have more time before that would become any sort of an issue.  I got pregnant really quickly.  Josh and I didn't really even have any time to enjoy just being married, and together, before I found out I was pregnant.  And of course as a child I had played house, and planned out how raising children would be.  I planned out what names I wanted them to have, and what color eyes and hair they would have.  I wanted a girl so bad – I wanted to dress her up in pretty little outfits, buy her shoes, purses and accessories galore.  But when I found out I was having a boy, I was devastated.  All of a sudden I not only resented this baby for coming so soon, when I was so looking forward to time alone with Josh, but now I also resented him for being a him!  I was so depressed, and the only thing keeping me from considering adoption, aside from my parents' inevitable fit about it, was Josh.  He was so ready to be a daddy.  He was so ecstatic that our first child would be a boy.  There was a certain level of sheer joy in that man that I'd never in my life be able to explain.  Soon, I resented him for that.  He had the bond with the baby that I longed for.  He would talk to him and try to feel all of his kicks every chance he got, but all that did was irritate me.  I was in a really dark place during that pregnancy, and not many people knew about it, not even Josh.  I still don't think he knows to this day about it.  I was just scared when I heard your reaction, because I was seeing in you what had happened to me.  And rather than try to help you through that, I freaked out and tried to make you feel bad about it.  I'm so, so sorry, Rory, and I hope you can forgive me.  I also hope that I can somehow help you to feel differently to how you're feeling right now.  Motherhood is hard – especially in the beginning, but I'm so happy things worked out the way they did.  My boys are the most amazing people on the planet, and I couldn't imagine my life without them, and I can't imagine being any happier than I have been since they've been in my life.  They're my whole world, it just took me way too long to see it that way" she whispered.

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