Dearest, Theodosia

Chapter IX

Chapter IX:

Don't get too Close

It was a struggle trying to fit all of the Hamilton children and Theo into the carriage. It took them a good ten minutes to finally have an acceptable seating arrangement. Philip had just grunted the whole time. The park was only about five minutes away by carriage. He didn't understand why everyone couldn't just deal with it. Theo, on the other hand, enjoyed the chaos. She didn't have any siblings of her own, so she looked at these children as her family. She enjoyed the loud Hamilton house. It was a definitely a big change from her usually silent home.

   When they arrived to the park, the children practically fell out of the carriage. All of the children ran about in the large, grass covered area. "Stay close." Philip yelled as he helped Theo out of the carriage. The couple found a spot under a lone tree and sat down, watching the children. "So, did you tell your father about... us?"

Theo rested her hands on her dress. "I did." Philip looked at Theo, waiting for her to tell him. This meant a lot to him. He desperately wanted to be accepted by Aaron Burr. Mostly because it meant so much to Theodosia that they got along. "He wasn't... thrilled when I first told him." Philip looked down at his hands, which were already fidgeting. "You and I both know how he's not fond of your father." Theo couldn't help but notice Philip's change in expression. "You understand, don't you? He just doesn't want me going off and getting my heart broken."

   Philip took his love's hand and squeezed it gently, look into the deep brown eyes that he knew so well. "Theo, you know that I'd never hurt you, right?" The girl nodded, gently biting her bottom lip. "I love you, I love you more than anything on this crazy planet. Everything in my life is so unsure right now. It's beyond messed up. The only clear, right thing in my life is you." Theo turned her head away from the boy. Her heart was so filled with love. The boy's words brought tears to her eyes. "Theo?"

   After her mother died, Theo told herself she would be strong. She was afraid to let anyone else in. Theodosia didn't want to lose anyone else in her live.

  ———

   Little Theodosia Burr climbed up onto her mother's bed. Her mother hardly left the bed anymore. Young Theo understood why. Her mother was very, very ill and she was also aware that there was a slim chance that she would get better. It was only a matter of time, really. "Mum?" Theodosia weakly opened her eyes from their resting state. The mother opened her arms and held them out for her daughter.

   Theo climbed into her mother's arms gently, not wanting to hurt her. Theodosia held her daughter close, well aware that she didn't have much time left with her. She'd never get to see her grown into a young lady, she'd never get to see her daughter marry, or have children, or leave a legacy. She only had now. That would have to be enough. Theodosia left a small kiss on her daughter's head. "My dearest, Theo." The ill woman ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. "I have things I have to tell you."

   "You can tell me anything, Mum. I can keep a secret." Theodosia smiled weakly, kissing her pride and joy once again.

   "I want you to know that you can do anything you set your mind to. You're a very intelligent girl and you have so much determination. Don't let anyone stop you, my brave girl. Live out your dreams." Theo nodded. "One day, you'll fall in love. Do not be afraid to let the young man in. I know you, you'll shut him out. Don't." Theo nodded again. "And don't accept anything less than a gentleman."

   "Okay, Mum. I promise."

   "Your father." Theodosia interrupted herself with a thick cough. "Don't let him shut you out. He needs you, dear. He loves you so much. I love you so much. We both love you. Watch over your father." Theo nodded. The two girls were interrupted by a door opening. Aaron Burr walked into the room, sitting on the edge of his bed with his girls. "Aaron."

   "Shhh, my love." Aaron said softly, taking his wife's hand. "It'll be alright." Theodosia couldn't keep her eyes open much longer, and Aaron saw that. "Theo, darling, come here." The young girl crawled from her mother's arms to her father's. Each one took a hand of the ill woman, holding it gently.

    Theo watched as her mother looked around at her surroundings one more time. "My loves." She muttered softly, a crack in her voice. "Aaron." Theodosia used her last breath to speak her daughter's name. "Theodosia." With that, her eyes closed, her hand weakened, and Aaron Burr broke down.

   Aaron held his daughter tightly. His sobs were loud and heartbreaking. Theo sat in her father's arms, staying strong.

———

   "I can't lose you, Philip." Theo said, a stray tear rolling down her cheek. "I've already lost my mother. I can't lose you." Philip turned Theo's head back to himself, cupping her face in his hands.

   "You'll never lose me, Theodosia Burr. Don't stress, my love for you is never in doubt. I'll always be by your side." Theo smiled softly at the boy who had stolen her heart. "I love you, Theodosia."

   "I love you too, Philip Hamilton. More than I could ever tell you." Theo leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Philip's lips. It was soft and innocent. The kiss was interrupted by the sounds of fake vomiting.

   "Blah!"

   "Ew!"

   "Gross!" The Hamilton children yelled, which caused both Theo and Philip to burst into fits of laughter.

   Philip hopped up from his seat on the ground, playfully chasing after his siblings. Theo sat against the tree, watching the family play around. It warmed her heart to see joy in the faces of people who had seen so much devastation. Maybe, just maybe, she'd get the honor of being able to join that family. She placed her hand over her heart and looked up at the sky.

   "Mum. I found the gentleman you told me to look for." Another tear slipped down her cheek. "I promise you, I'll let him in. I won't shut him out. I promise."

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Damn. I cried while writing this. I hope this didn't tear anyone down too much! Love you all.