Blank thoughts

Chapter six

I storm through the forest. "I can't take this" I scream in my mind.  The survey corps is on my tail. My titan form could outrun them. I felt like I could control it this time. All I wanted to do was run. That was all. I hear swords clashing together. I have to run faster. Then suddenly, I see a team on horses approaching me. I see Levi leading them. Eren is beside him. His face is shrouded in darkness. "Begin plan A!" Levi screams. Eren stands up on his horse and jumps, flying into the air. Everyone follows Eren and Levi. Eren releases his grappling hooks and turns to the right, approaching me faster. Suddenly, my titan form's arm rises. "NO" I scream. I can't hurt him.  My arm lunges forward.Fortunately I miss. Eren attaches his grappling hook to my arm and pulls in. He lands on my arms only to be knocked off. He releases his grappling hooks and falls back. He launches himself forward, releasing his grappling hooks into my neck. Levi releases his into my back. They both come in. Eren is so close to my nape. My titan form lunges back and.....I hit him. Eren is flung back, hitting the tree. His eyes widen and I can see blood fall from his lips. He falls and hits the ground with a sickening thump. I manage to get a hold of my form and stop. I turn around and face Eren. He is lifeless. I lean down and pick him up by his cape. I hold him gently in my hand and begin to run again. "EREN!!" I hear Armin's scream. I pick up speed. I managed to get Levi off my trail and turn a left. The survey corps passed right by me, thinking I had moved on forward. I stay hidden in the trees. When I think the close is clear, I slowly walk into the open and kneel down. I gently place Eren down and reach behind me at my neck. I tear it off and freeze. My regular eyes stare into the gray sky as my titan form falls dead. I lift my head, flesh releasing its grip. I stand up and rip off the remaining pieces of flesh from my legs. I turn to Eren and run to him. Tears swell in my eyes. I embrace him into a hug. I begin to cry and dig my face into his bloody chest. I can't hear a heartbeat. I cry harder. I squeeze him against my chest. "NO!" I scream. "NOOOO!!".  "I-I-I" I sob. "Eren...I ne-never told you".  I look at his face. His eyes are open, forever staring. His green eyes are lifeless. I close his eyes. "Eren Jaeger....I love you" I cry. Tears are falling onto Eren's lap. "AND I MURDERED YOU!". "I'M SO SELFISH, I THOUGHT I COULD JUST BE FREE FOR A MOMENT!". I scream at the top of my lungs. I cry until my throat is raw. I hoist Eren over my back and leave the clearing, hearing the survey corps coming back. I duck under the shrubs and watch as they fly by, there faces grim from failure and loss of their best comrade. I sigh and sit up against the tree and put Eren on my lap. I stroke his brown hair and let tears fall down again. The suddenly....I hear him....breathing. My eyes widen and I lean down to listen to his heart. I hear a slow steady beat. He's alive. I begin to cry and hug him close to my face. The sun is setting. I lay him down across my jacket and get firewood. I didn't want to show my face back there yet. Not until he was feeling better and trusted me even. I feed the fire my wood and plop down next to Eren. He stirs in his sleep. I sigh and wrap my arms around my legs. It had been at least two hours since the sun set. Eren opens his eyes slowly. He coughs into his fist, blood splattering his skin. I look at him. He catches my glance. His eyes widen. I close my eyes and turn away. He stares at me.  "A-Annie". I turn around. His face is not shrouded in anger. Only confusion. I bite my lip and explain it all to him. I explain how it was ALL an accident. "Y-you have the right to hate". I look into his green eyes. "But you got a hold of yourself" he sighed. "And you helped me". "BUT I HURT YOU" I begin to sob. Eren shook his head. "It's okay Annie". I look at him. Silence fell between us. "I forgive you". I go silent. He sits up, blood running from his lips. "I forgive you". I look at him and wipe away tears. He slowly stands up, coughing. I step forward to urge him to sit down. But he embraces me into a hug. I'm motionless. I squeeze him back. Suddenly, the fire goes out and we're greeted by the face of a titan.