Blank thoughts

Chapter Seventeen

My eyes snap open. I'm laying in a wooden cart, a garrison regiment cape draped over my body. I sit up and rub my eyes. Then I realize what just happened. "Eren..." I choke. I peak over the wooden guards and see a man on a horse beside the cart. "W-what happened?" I ask. "Nothing to worry about m'am" he states. I roll my eyes and lie back down again. "HEFF,YOU GOTTA COME OVER HERE.....IT'S URGENT!". Heff looks at me and runs to the group of Garrisons. "Oh my gosh....". I stand up and hop our of the cart. "Is he alive?" I walk closer, holding my breathe. The Garrisons look up at me. They're staring a body covered with a sheet. "Found him dying at the front of the gate" A man with long blond hair in a ponytail states. "Great...Luther found another dead body" Heff laughs. Luther rolls his eyes and removes the sheet. I gasp. It's Eren. I fall to my knees. Everyone stares down at me. "You okay?" Luther asks. I slowly stand up. "E-E-Eren..." I stutter. I kneel down again and embrace him into a hug. I begin to sob. I hug him harder. Then I suddenly stop. I must be hurting him, considering I was pressing my body to his stomach. His shirt was missing and...his giant wound on his stomach...was gone, his skin looking new. I quickly lean down and listen for a pulse. I hear a slow steady beat. Everyone is staring. I sob and hold his head in my hands. I grip his chocolate brown hair and lean my forehead against his. I see flesh marks across his eyes. He transformed. And by the looks of his soft new skin on his arms...he had lost both his arms before transforming. "I'M SO SORRY!" I scream. Tears stream down my stinging cheeks. "I'M SO SELFISH!".  Luther leans down and tries to take Eren. I kick him in the gut. He grunts and falls back. I won't let him go. I feel his head. It was burning. "M'am, please let us take him so w-". "NOO!" I scream. "NO ONE WILL TAKE HIM!". I suddenly feel myself knocked out, pitch black surrounding me.

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I open my eyes.  The sun is shining through the window. I'm laying across a small bed in the corner of a small room. My wounds are patched up. Heff is sitting in a chair beside my bed. "You feelin okay?" he asks. "Why does it matter?" I scoff. Heff shrugs and plays with the end of his jacket, twirling the tip between his fingertips. "Wait...." I breathe. "WHERE'S Eren?" I ask nervously. Heff scoots closer. "He's fine....just in the infirmary a couple rooms from here". I throw off the covers and try standing up. "WHAT are you doing?" Heff growls. "I need to see him" I choke. "No you're not" he says. He grabs my arm and forces me to sit down. "Glad you ain't fightin me" Heff says gratefully. "You're 2 ties my size" I mumble. "I don't wanna take any risks until I'm fully healed". I lay back down again. "Can I see him NOW?" I ask. "No..." Heff snaps. I roll my eyes and smirk. "How about NOW?" Heff growls. "N-O". "HOW about NOOWWW!?!?" I moan. This went on for about two minutes before I managed to crack him. "JUST GO!" Heff begs. I smile and stand up. "It's the room next to the giant set of stairs". I nod and reach for my sweater, tucking it under my arm. I walk up to the door and pull it open. The cool afternoon wind whips against my face. I speed walk down the hall. The halls smell of strong perfume and cigarettes. Nurses occasionally walk by with trays of shots, food, and sharp menacing tools. I approach the giant staircase and turn left at the door. I take a deep breathe and knock on the door. There was silence. A nurse with olive skin and brown black hair pops her head out from behind the door. "Yes?". I grunt with an annoyed tone and push her aside. The curtains are closed, casting a dim feeling in the room. One other nurse with flowing blond hair and green eyes is leaning over Eren's body, placing a wet cloth over his forehead. The nurse turns her head. "Excuse me, do you have permission to b-" I shove the nurse out of the way and throw myself onto Eren's sleeping body. I sob into his chest. "I-I'm so sorry" I whisper. Surprisingly the nurses leave the room. I look down at his pale face. Tears fall onto his cheeks as I look over him. I lean in and kiss him, softly brushing my lips to his. His lips are warm. I open my eyes and separate myself from him. I stand up and brush away strands of blond hair from my loose bun. I look away and reach for the door handle. I hear something hoarse and whispered escape his lips. "Betrayed.......".