Because of you (Demi Lovato fan fiction)

Silence

April 2012

Justine

Two weeks passed by and no communication between Demi and me. Honestly at first I wasn't even mad about that. I was so angry with her and most of my thoughts were back in Austria with Julian and his family. I was so sad about his death and that I had missed his funeral. I skyped with his parents three days ago just to talk with them and tell them about their wonderful son. I had a lot to do at work and was happy about the distraction. But as the days passed I missed Demi more and more. I was really anxious about her well being.

Jody and Lucas were worried about me and tried to comfort me during every skype and phone call. I told them about my fight with Demi and I know that they won't tell anyone. They supported me in every possible way but I got really homesick. I like people here in New York but different then in Los Angeles I haven't found a real friend here. No one that I trust as much as my friends in LA and my friends back home. Of course there is my cousin and his family, but I don't really want to talk about all this stuff with them.  Jody and Lucas decided to visit me in New York. First I didn't want them to come over. Tickets are expensive, but later I couldn't wait that they arrive.

I take some days off myself just to show them around New York and some days later I was waiting at the airport for them to land. I see them walking with their suitcases and start screaming. People stare at me as if I am totally crazy. I don't care. I hug them both and all three of us start crying. That is the best feeling I have for ages.

We are on our way to dinner after I had shown them my flat and they got a shower. "Wow Justine, this city is amazing! I feel like an ant! It's huge and really pretty!" Jody says deeply impressed. I squeeze her hand and smile at her. Oh, how I missed them. Lucas is jumping around on the sidewalk like one of my nephews. They are all between one and eight by the way. But that is Lucas and I love him. Every five steps we have to stop because someone of them wants to take a picture. "Oh come on guys, that's a traffic light!" I sigh. "Yes, but they are different then at home!" Lucas say and I roll my eyes.

Both of them stayed for six days in New York. I showed them as much as possible, still trying to have enough quality time with them. We cuddled in my bed, talked about our lives and they really helped me to clear my mind. I was laughing about old jokes and stories. I can't ask for better best friends. They tried to clear my mind with all the Demi drama and they brought more light into it. But I am still not sure if I acted right. What if I chased her away?

"What floats around in your head, Justine?" I am sitting on my balcony with a cup of coffee, when Jody sits down next to me. I lay my head on her shoulder, "I just miss her. I hope she is doing well!" I tear up and Jody pulls me on her lap. "I hate seeing you like that! Especially because I have to leave you tomorrow!" she says and hugs me. "Why don't you call her? I know, I asked you that a hundred times before. But seriously, just pick up your phone and make a call! I am sure, she is not mad at you. After all you told me about her, she really likes you. And I know, that you really, really like her!" "Are you jealous, Jody?" I ask her and grin. "Well, I was! This girl is like a number one topic for you to talk about. I was honestly afraid to loose you as my best friend!" She whispers and I feel bad. "I would never ever want another best friend than you! Don't ever think differently! I love you with all of my heart, and no one can ever change that, Jody!" I answer honestly. She smiles at me and continues, "And I love you. I mean we've known each other since we both were in our diapers. You are my number one, well except for my handsome, sexy, smart and charming fiancée." "I still can't believe that you are going to marry Richard next year! I am so proud of you. He is perfect for you!" I tell her and play with her engagement ring. Then she looks at me, "Please call her! I am sure everything is going to be alright between the both of you! One reason I stopped being jealous of Demi is that I really think that there is more behind it." "What do you mean?"  "The way you talk about her, and how you light up. Justine, I think you have feelings for her." I want to interrupt her, but she holds her hand over my mouth. "Just listen. I know, you don't confess it now. Maybe it is too early. And I haven't met Demi yet to see you guys interact with each other. But I know you. It was almost the same before you came together with Laura or Anna. There was this friendship thing, because you just didn't get it. It was so clear for everyone else, except for you. The difference for me is, that this time with Demi, you are too afraid to let your feelings in, although you know they are there. You just hide them behind the "She is so special to me" thing. And the fact that you are coming home in a couple of months doesn't make it better or easier for you! Don't say anything right now. Just think about it. And know that I am always here for you!" I rest my head in her neck and feel confused. What does that mean?