Because of you (Demi Lovato fan fiction)

Upside down

Justine

No need to say that after that conversation the evening was over. A few minutes later I was able to walk inside, hoping that I didn’t meet Demi. She was nowhere in sight. I felt so bad. I hurt her so much.

Marissa wasn’t there either, just Matthew waited for me. He hugged me and kissed my cheek. “I am so sorry Justine!” he said and tried to comfort me. “You knew it? Why didn’t you tell me? Just a little hint. I am so confused right now! Matthew, I have Megan in my life and it is so good to have her. I don’t want to lose Demi though! I need her! Tell me what I should do, or even think?” I was crying hysterically.

M: “I can’t tell you anything, because nothing would help you right at the moment. You have to figure it out for yourself. Let this settle in first! I guess it is a lot to handle right now! But I can tell you one thing Justine. Demi loves you from the bottom of her heart, with everything she has. I never saw her like that before. She needs you too and you brought back all the laughter and confidence to her life. She changed in such a positive way since you are in her life. And I don’t really know why you didn’t see it. We all saw it! It was so clear! She loves you truly.”

That didn’t help me at this point. Of course I noticed that she really likes me. We get along so well. It is different than with any of my friends. But honestly I thought that this was because of our soulmate bond. How can I be so stupid?

I wanted to leave very quickly. I just said my good bye to Matt and left the apartment. I called Megan that I didn’t feel good and wanted to go to bed. I told her that I might get sick, so she should stay at her place for the night. I wanted to be alone.

Demi

She didn’t retain me, she just let me go and that was answer enough for me. Justine Stevens, the love of my life, the woman that helped me getting back to the woman I always wanted to be, my soulmate, doesn’t love me the way that I love her. My heart was so broken and I felt so empty. I always thought that after I broke up with Wilmer the feeling I had, couldn’t get worse, that there was no more painful feeling than that. But I was definitely wrong. This was so much more painful and worse.

Marissa noticed immediately what happened on that balcony. It was so obvious. She just hugged me and went to my apartment with me. I was empty of tears, I just sat there on my couch, Marissa held me in her arms. I didn’t want to talk, I just needed her presence to calm me down and keep me away from any trouble.

two weeks later

Justine

Again!  Again Demi and I had no contact with each other for over two weeks now. This is kind of our thing I guess. But I am afraid, that this might be more difficult to solve then every other time before. The first days after that evening I was in panic every time I thought about her. I was so afraid to even think about it or her. Megan noticed immediately that something was wrong. I had to convince her that it was nothing between me and her. I couldn’t tell her the truth though. She wouldn’t understand. So I started to act that everything is alright. She kind of believes me. At least I could forget about that drama when I am with her. Although I was so afraid to lose Demi, my soulmate, my friend. My love?? I don't know what to feel about that. And honestly I don't want to think about it! It is too much right now. I don’t want to go through everything again! All the drama I had with Anna was too much. Only 1,5 years back, but still it is like it happened yesterday. Maybe this is the reason why I mess things up all of the time!  

The work at kindergarten started a week ago. It was a lot to do. Some of the kids had problems with the start. Especially the youngest ones just need more time to get to know us and to trust us. They need a lot of patience, devotion and sympathy. And because all of them are new, it is really busy right now. They have to get used to the new daily rhythm and the procedures during the kindergarten day. But all of them are really brave and curious. They want to explore the classroom environment and are enjoying the toys and working materials. Although I love to work with them it is really tough to concentrate. My mind is drifting, my thoughts are about Demi most of the time. And I hate that, because I am such a perfectionist when it comes to work.