I'm only human

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PLEASE READ --A/n *trigger warning* there will be suicidal themes in this and self harming please don't read if you don't like that sort of thing or will be triggered by it. The photograph used to be a picture of my self harm scars because I felt it was important for y'all to see, I never did it for attention I did it so that you could see how important it is to get talking to people so that this didn't have to happen... but it was reported, so oh well I've had to change the picture. sorry💚
Derek's pov
I was just walking around I had no idea where I was going my feet were just guiding me, I couldn't sleep so decided to go for a walk instead, I was dragging my feet along the concrete of the roads focusing my hearing every so often, then I heard it "he'll never love me why am I so stupid" then I smelt blood I had no idea what was going on or where I was so I walked further down the road till the smell of blood became so strong I had to look up then I realised where I was... I was stood in front of stiles' house then my thoughts clicked it must have been stiles who was talking but who could he be talking about that didn't matter I jumped up to his window looking in to see him no where to be seen so I slid the window open (luckily it was unlocked) and climbed in looked around the room and couldn't find stiles that's when I decided to look in the bathroom... The door was shut but not locked I opened it slowly because I didn't know what I'd find... I found stiles lying on the bathroom floor his wrists slit in all different kinds of angles and a puddle of blood forming on the floor my wolf injured me for just freezing in shock when seeing my mate in this state on the floor so I grabbed him in my arms bridal style and ran to the hospital as soon as I got there and opened the door I shouted "MELISSA!"  And I saw her come running round the corner "stiles... Stiles, Derek what happened?" She asked tears forming in her eyes "I don't know I found him like this please do something he cannot die!!" She immediately made me take him to a room asking me to wait out side I was hesitant but did what she asked not really wanting to leave his side. I was pacing the hospital corridor near stiles room when Melissa came out, she came over to me sighing deeply "lucky you found him when you did Derek, he might not have made it otherwise" sadness clearly evident in her voice "is he okay though?" I asked full of concern "yeah he's stable, he should be okay, you can go in if you like" just as I was about to do that she stopped me saying "wait does his dad know" I shook my head and rubbed the back of my neck "shit of course I should've phoned his dad, I'm so stupid!" I nearly yelled at myself, Melissa just held onto my hand, nearly whispering "no you're not you've been under a lot of stress since you brought him in, worrying about him..." She made me look at her "I'll ring him don't worry" I gave her a sad smile squeezed onto her hand slightly and then let go going into stiles room and sitting in the chair next to his bed. Falling asleep my head by the side of his legs. I woke up to my hair being stroked "stiles?" I asked slightly confused "yeah" he replied sounding weak I lifted my head up immediately after hearing his voice it was just us two in the room I lead forward and kissed him "I'm in love with you... Please don't leave me" I said pretty much implying that I didn't want him to die because he self harmed "sorry der I know this must've been a rough experience for you, seeing me like that" I looked at him confused "how'd you know?" "Melissa filled me in before about how you found me and how worried you were that you didn't even call my dad" he replied a slight smile on his face "you're my mate stiles I don't wanna have to live without you and I'm sorry I didn't ring your dad I was just nervous and my heart was breaking slightly more every minute you were in here and I didn't know if you were okay," he just took my hand and said "hey, I'm not going anywhere now" I just looked down "did you do it because of me?" I asked because I knew what he had said just minutes before I found him "I wasn't feeling the best my self confidence/ esteem plummeted and I just didn't know what to do, I was in love with you from the get go and I thought you'd never love me back I felt like shit because of that... Sorry" he said looking down for a lot of it as though he felt ashamed "it's okay sti, just please never do that to me again I need you too much to loose you sti, I'm in love with you" I replied "I love you too" he smiled. While stiles was in hospital I only left his side to go to the bathroom which was in his room anyway and occasionally a shower in the next room as well but I always had my hearing focused on him when I did, he was in hospital for 2 weeks before they let him out and his dad visited when he could but because I didn't do anything I was always there, sometimes Scott and Isaac would come after school for a bit but I was the only one that was there 24/7 which made both of us grow closer and helped us get to know each other better, even when stiles did come out of the hospital I would sneak into his room at night just to sleep with him I found it relaxing sleeping next to stiles and it was one of my ways of showing him that I did truly love him. He was the love of my life. He was my mate.

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