SnowBarry - WestAllen Unexpected

Forty Nine

Barry stood at the back watching. He kept running through the events of the previous weeks. He couldn't stand watching go through that all again. Caitlin had come to a point where she was willing to kill herself to escape all this. She had been hiding her true fear which had lead her to that moment where she was standing on the ledge willing to jump.

"Barry, you ok," Caitlin's voice cut through his thoughts. He looked up and saw that he was alone in the room with Caitlin.

He walked over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'm not the one who has been hiding so much and now may possibly be losing her mind."

Caitlin put a hand on his and squeezed it tightly. "You have so much to deal with and loading my problems on you wasn't the best idea. I didn't know what was happening and what I saw wasn't an easy thing to share."

"You know what's sad, that you think it is ok for me to share everything, good or bad with you but you thinking that it is a burden to share what you feel. We are partners and we share it all. You are there for me and sure as hell I'm going to be there for you."

Barry came closer and hugged her. Something about this hug was different. Caitlin didn't know but something was different. She always knew that Barry and her shared a special bond but this was different. Her heart skipped a beat when he touched her and it gave her Goosebumps. What was happening?

                                       //~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~//

"Honestly, I don't even know what is wrong with her. All the tests that I have done and even the ones that she told me to do say that she is fine. Why is she passing out and not being able to recall what happened in the previous weeks," informed Cisco.

"In such a short amount of time she has gone through so much. But then again I'm no doctor," said Joe.

"Barry, are you ok. You seem a little distracted," spoke up Iris.

Barry looked up at her and smiled. "I hate watching her go through all this. I mean she already battles the whole Killer Frost and now she is fighting the battle of losing her mind. Why is she being tested."

"I know it is hard and I also that it is unfair but it is something that we all have to go through," said Iris.

"I heard that someone needed some help and I think that I'm here just in time," came a new but familiar voice. They all turned around to find Oliver Queen standing at the door.

Suddenly, Barry knew that things would get better. He needed his mentor here and Oliver was the perfect person to help him. He himself had gone through so much and all that had made him a stronger and better hero. 

Everyone greeted him and lastly Barry approached him. "I think its time for our little chat," joked Oliver.

                                //~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~//

Barry and Oliver stood in silence on the roof of STAR Labs. Barry had filled Oliver in on all that had happened. Oliver watched and listened to him in silence.

"Barry, I can lie and tell you that all will suddenly get better. I can say that Caitlin is going to wake up now and remember it all."

"I know and what frustrating me even more is the idea of her going through so much by herself and not sharing it."

"That reminds me of someone else I know. He thinks that some things are better kept to himself rather than letting his team know. And with Caitlin, she has been through so much. She has been battling this herself for so long. All she wants to do is forget it but then again she is trying to remember it. You have to give her time. She hates what she has done and forgetting it all is all she wants to do."

"I know and I do blame myself for all that has happened. Every time I want to make something right I ruin it."

"Blaming ourselves is the easy way out. I have done that for most of my life. Thinking what has happened is our fault is easy rather than admitting that sometimes it is harder to save someone. In a line of work where we take it on us to fight to protect others we forget to protect those close to us. In fear we take an action that we cant justify. What I thought I learnt on the island was that I have to be strong and keep fighting. Questions and problems will arise and we wont always have the answer but how we tackle it is the key."

"But how do you live with yourself when you know that you could have helped someone but you weren't there?"

"The hardest part of our work is admitting that you cant always be there for everyone. No matter how much you want to you cant always save everyone. But you can try. Even a hero will fall and the one who saves everyone fall. The aim isn't to always win but is to try. Because you may think that you have failed but when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture you will see that you may have lost one battle but that battle wasn't meant to be won. Because that loss was a small part of a larger battle which you have won. Losing shouldn't define you but it should teach you and make you stronger. I also had that moment where I was willing to sacrifice it all but someone told me that what I did wasn't for the fame or the thank you. It was feeling that you get for knowing that you have made a difference. Caitlin may have hidden the truth but she also believed in you to do what you are destined to do."

"You truly believe that?"

"If I didn't then I wouldn't know that she was willing to sacrifice herself for the man she was in love with," smiled Oliver.