Forever Chicago (Chicago Fire 2)

Final Goodbye

Kelly Severide didn't go to the funeral of Emily Halstead, when Gabby had told him that Emily would want him there - his reply was that she would understand why he couldn't be there when her body was put in the ground. In reality, his reasoning for not going to the funeral was because if he didn't see her getting buried, he wouldn't have to accept that she was gone.

Neither Will or Jay had this luxury. They where the ones that had to travel to Lawrence, Kansas to tell Kyle that his mom had died. They where the ones that had to watch as their nephew cried in front of him, begging for her to come back to him. Kyle cried for what felt like hours while his uncles sat with him, shedding their fair share of tears with him.

Gabby blamed herself for what happened to Emily, she spent most of her time going over everything she did in the back of the Ambo to try and save Emily's life. Wondering if there was anything else that she could have done. Could she have bandaged her wound tighter? Matt had told her multiple times that there was nothing else that she could have done. He told her that Emily would be thankful that she was there with her, that Emily wouldn't want her to blame herself for something that was out of her control. On some level, Gabby knew that Matt was right - but that didn't stop the thoughts that went around her head.

Ryan had kept to himself. He let Will and Jay sort out the funeral, because well, he couldn't bring himself to talk about her death. Like Severide, Ryan didn't go to her funeral. But for different reasons. Ryan threw himself into his work, needing to distraction from what was going on. He left Chicago soon after Emily died, not saying goodbye to anyone. There was no one he felt like he needed to see again before he left.

Emily's funeral had attracted a large crowd. Agents from the BAU had come to say their final goodbye to their friend and colleague. Police officers from District 21 came too, they had worked with Emily, and on some level she was one of them.

Derek Morgan, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Matt Casey and Connor Rhodes carried the coffin. Derek Morgan didn't know what to say when he found out about the death of his partner and best friend. But since she had died, he had made it his personal mission to investigate what happened that day. He needed to know if it was just one person, or if there had been a team that had conspired to kill Emily.

As Jay made his way to say a few words about Emily's life. Everyone watched him. NO one taking their eyes off the grieving brother. "It was only last week that I was sitting with my sister ... we were betting over a football game. And, now. She's dead. I'm sorry Speedy. I wasn't there to protect you. I'm your older brother and you did this all on your own. Please, don't leave me" Jay cried. Falling to his knees, Erin walked over to him - helping him to his feat and walking him back to his brother who held onto him for dear life.

Many other people said their final goodbye to Emily, but their thoughts still rested with Jay and Will. After Emily's coffin was placed in the ground, everyone went to Molly's where Rossi had bought out the bar in memory of Emily. Her team from the FBI sat down at a table, drinking the god awful beer that Emily had always seemed to like so much. The had never understood how she could drink Guinness but on this occasion they seemed to find it comforting.

"So, she once walked into my bedroom when Kevin and I where getting busy. Emily couldn't look at me for a week" Garcia said, laughing as she spoke. Since they had arrived at Molly's, the BAU team had been telling stories about Emily. Some stories that would make them all laugh. They knew that she wouldn't want them to be sad, she would want to them to be happy about her life. To celebrate it.

While everyone drank and toasted to Emily, Kelly Severide made his way to the cemetery. As he got closer to the freshly covered grave, he felt his legs go from beneath him. But still, he got closer and closer to the grave. Severide sat down beside where she had been buried and proceeded to talk to her.

"I'm sorry I didn't come today. You know how much I hate funerals. There was so much I didn't say to you when you where here with me. I never told you how much I loved you, I never wanted to be friends with you. I wanted us to live happily ever after. Maybe get a house with a white fence. You can't blame a guy for dreaming right?" Severide said with a humourless laugh at the end of his sentence. "You once promised me that you would always be there for me, and I promised you the same. I guess neither of us can keep promises. If I had just gotten to you a few minutes earlier, you would still be here. I'm sorry baby. I love you. Please, forgive me" Severide said as the tears rolled down his face.