Forever Chicago (Chicago Fire 2)

It's not your fault

A little after Severide left Emily's office, she got a call from Aaron Hotchner informing her that she was needed back in Washington as soon as. Without a second thought, Emily picked up the go bag she kept packed and ready in her office and took off. On her way to the airport, she sent Jay a text message that read :

Had to go back to Washington for a few days. Sorry it's last minute. I'll call you when I get a change. Love you. 

The moment she sent the message, Emily placed her phone in her go back and got on the next flight to Washington DC. When Jay read the text, he was glad that she had at least told him what she was doing this time instead of just leaving like she usually did. But while Jay was okay with the fact that his sister was leaving for Washington, Kelly Severide was not. He was angry with Emily for leaving him again, her job would always come before their relationship. He could see this now. People often said that Kelly Severide was married to his job, but at least he was willing to do what it took to save his relationship with her. Ultimately, it seemed like she just didn't care about their relationship. The trust that they had been wanting to rebuild with each other was now more broken than ever.    

The worst thing about Emily leaving to Washington, was that Kelly Severide wasn't even aware of this until he had been stood up - he waited almost an hour for her at the cafe that resided near firehouse 51. It was only when he called Emily's office phone and Ruzek answered that he became aware of the fact she had gone. This put Severide in a mood during his shift, much to the dismay of the crew of Squad 3 - who where now suffering through drills upon drills. 

Matt and Gabby watched as the crew of Squad 3 looked like they where ready to give up, but Severide continued to shout at them. Telling them that this was their job, and that if they weren't ready to do these drills how would they ever be ready go into a fire and save the life of someone who was in danger. Almost an hour later, Severide allowed the crew of Squad 3 to take a half hour break before they where expected to change out all of the equipment that needed changing - even though the Squad had been checked and cleaned in the morning, and they where yet to go out on a call. As the crew wondered into the common room, they where all ready to flip out if Severide spoke to them again. "I swear to god, if I hear him say drill again - I'm going to drill a hole in his head" Cruz said, flopping down on couch where Mouch was usually sat. Matt stood up from his seat and wondered into Severide's office where he found his friend lying on his bed with his eyes closed.

"Gabby said that Emily has gone to Washington for a few days. Is this what this whole thing is about?" Matt asked. 

"Why would this be about her?" Severide asked, as if Matt asking this question was the stupidest thing in the world. "Because the woman I love cares more about her job than her relationship with me. Yeah, it's shit. But that's who she is. And that's why it will never work between us" Severide told his best friend. For a while they sat talking this all through, what he was going to do. It had seemed to Severide that they had sorted everything out the night before. 

But he guessed he was wrong. 

Emily stood in Aaron Hotchner's office, looking out of the window and over the courtyard outside the Federal building. She turned around when she heard someone walk into the office, when Emily saw Hotch standing in front of her she smiled. Hotch closed the door behind him before looking at Emily. He could see that she was trying to hide house she was feeling. "It's not your fault" Hotch told her, slowly taking steps towards her. 

"I know" Emily said, a small pained laugh leaving her lips as if she was trying to convince herself. 

"It's not your fault" 

"I know that Hotch" Emily said, her eyes starting to well up a little. 

"It's not your fault" 

"Don't Hotch. Not you. Please. Don't" She spoke, the words actually seeming to hurt as they left her mouth. 

"It's not your fault" Hotch said as he put his arms around her, letting her cry into his chest as she mourned her friend. 

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry" Emily said, crying into him. 

"It's okay" Hotch told her. 

Back in Chicago, Jay had just finished a phone call informing him of what had happened in Chicago. From what he was able to gather from the conversation, Emily had asked an Agent friend of hers to check up on a case for her and the Agent was murdered. Leaving behind a wife and three kids at home. This had devastated Emily, according to Morgan - at this moment in time Emily was with Hotch. But he couldn't see what was happening because the office door and blinds had been closed. 

After a few moments of being comforted by Hotch, Emily decided that she wanted to go home - she wanted to be with her brothers and the people that she cared about. See just needed to be around them. Severide and Matt had gone to Molly's after their shift, having a few drinks to try and end the day on a good note. Matt had made Severide realise that he was being to hard on his Squad, and to say sorry to them for being such a drill Sargent - so he bought them all a drink. 

As Severide drank, Emily had just landed - going straight to her brothers to cry on their shoulders. The moment she entered their apartment, they pull her into them - telling her that everything was going to be okay. Even thought they where both aware that saying this wouldn't hake her feel any better, they kept telling her anyway. Hoping that at some point she would believe it. 

For a couple of days, Emily stayed with her brothers - not talking to anyone else because she didn't want them to know what she had done. In Emily's life, she had made many very questionable choices, most of which she had regretted afterwards. And this was one of them. She knew that the mission was dangerous, but she had still told him to do it. Emily had gotten intelligence that a terrorist organisation was plotting to detonate a bomb in Chicago, and she had sent him alone. With no back up. It was her negligence that got him killed. 

As she sat watching an old film, there was a knocked on the front door. Kelly Severide had decided that he needed to tell Emily exactly how he felt, and he didn't care what she thought of that. He just needed her to know. When she finally answered the door, Kelly just walked in. "Please, come on in" Emily muttered, slamming the door behind him "Kelly ..."

"Shut up and listen to me. I love you. But right now, I hate you. When you 'died', I literally went out of my mind. And that's you fault, you made me love you and then you died" Severide said to her, shouting at her. "You care more about your job than you do about our relationship" 

"You want to know why I left? I sent an agent I knew, undercover and he was killed" Emily shouted at him. "I'm the reason why three young children will grow up without a father. So, I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt Kelly. What you need to remember is that you grieved for me. I grieved for the loss of all my friends and family" Emily said, tears flowing out of her eyes. 

"You grieved for us? You knew we where alive, we thought you where dead. I get that you're hurting, but I am too. I thought you wanted to work on this. I guess I was wrong" Severide said, turning and walking towards the door. 

"Kelly, I love you" Emily said. Severide stopped for a moment before he walked out of the door. Leaving Emily alone. 

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