Forever Chicago (Chicago Fire 2)

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Emily ran to Ryan, feeling a rush of adrenaline surge through her body. While her head was able to process the fact that the guy she thought she had lost was right in front of her - her heart couldn't. She was torn between hating him and kissing him. So, she chose a middle option. She slapped him. From the moment her hand left the side of his face, a bright red mark had already started to form. Leaving the indication of what had just happened there. "How?" Emily asked, well, more like demanded to know. Pulling Ryan's arm and leading him out of the bar. "Did you know? Did you know I was still alive?" She asked.

For a moment, Ryan just looked at her. He ogled at the length of her hair, and just how dark her eyes where. Even though they didn't seem as bright any more. To him, she even moved differently now. It made Ryan wonder, was she different because of her injury. Because of that night. Or was it because he left her when she needed him the most? "I knew" Were the only words that left Ryan's mouth. He watched as she turned from him. "I wanted to come to you, but I couldn't risk someone following me. So I got an assignment. I left" He said, hoping that this would be enough for her to be able to face him again. Emily turned, just looking at him.

"I woke up in a hospital, on my own. I was scared, no - I was terrified. All I needed was for you to be there, just to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay. But you didn't. A stranger held my hand as I cried, she sat with me as I sobbed. Ryan, I was so in love with you. I looked for you" Emily said, crying as she spoke. Ryan didn't know what to say to her, he understood that she was angry. But there was nothing he could do about that now.

"I'm sorry" He said.

"I'm trying to make something of my life here" Emily told him, looking through the small glass window to see Kelly sitting with Matt who must have arrived at some point. While Matt spoke, it was clear to Emily that Kelly was trying to seem interested. And this made her smile. 

"I just needed to see you, I'm going back to Syria. Rossi spoke to me the other day, and he told me about the case - I just needed to tell you that I'm proud of you" Ryan said to her, pulling her into him for a hug. "I've got to go" Ryan finished, letting Emily go with a smile.

People often say, that when your world starts to crumble around you - it's like everything is in slow motion. You can see everything you care about be ripped away from you. You can feel your heart being pulled out of your chest and before you can even react, the weight of everything around you becomes to much. Emily had only ever got this feeling once before, when her mother died. But this, the feeling of desperation was new to her. One thing she was sure of, she hated this feeling.

Voight was the one to give her the news. The news that her son, her only child, had attempted to take his own life. At this news, Emily's world crashed around her. Voight watched as one of the strongest people he knew broke down in front of him. In one swift movement, Emily fell to the ground. Crying out, voice cracking. It seemed like there were only a few words that she could speak, those words being either 'no', 'please' or 'god'. Hank bent down, getting on his knees and taking her in his arms. Knowing that his trying to comfort her wouldn't help, but he needed to try.

Voight drove her to Chicago Med, where Kyle was being treated. From the call he had received from Hotch, Kyle had hung himself in his bedroom. Only to be found by one of his friends. Apparently, they had come to the city to see another one of their friends - and they had left Kyle on his own. Not know what he was planning to do. Taking Emily to Kyle's room was one of the hardest things that Voight had ever had to do. He left her with Jay and Will who had already made their way to the hospital.

Connor had been put in charge of Kyle's case, it gave Emily a small sense of hope that someone she knew and cared about was there to make the best medical decisions for Kyle. She sat next to his bed, taking his left hand in hers. "Hey, baby. I'm here. Okay, moms here" Emily said, hoping he could hear her. Jay and Will watched this, they watched as their sister held onto her sons hand for dear life.

When the paramedics had arrived to help Kyle, they had found a suicide note written by him - pinned onto his shirt. Gabby and Brett had been the ones to get the call out, and Gabby had taken the suicide note - giving it to Jay. As his sister sat with her son, Jay wondered into the waiting room. Opening the note and reading to content.

To, my family

I love you all with all of my heart, I just wasn't meant for this world. I hope that I can find a place of hope and peace, a place where I can be happy. A place where I can be myself and not have to worry about anyone else.

I hope you believe me when I say that there was nothing you could have done to stop this. I needed to do this. I hurt so bad on the inside. I want it all to go away. I want a new beginning. I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid to live another day.

I want you to live your lives and be happy. Don't be sad about my death, be glad that I lived.

I love you all.

As Jay finished the letter, he wiped a tear that had escaped from his eye. At Firehouse 51, Severide had just been called into Chief Boden's office - where he was informed all about what was going on. Without thinking, Severide looked at Boden before just leaving and making his way to the hospital. Just knowing that she would be needing him. After everything that they had been through together, there was no way he was leaving her to deal with all of this on her own. By the time her arrived at the hospital, Emily had started speaking to Kyle. Kelly stood close to the door, just listening to what she had to say.

"It's mom, again. Listen, I don't understand why you needed to do this. But I promise you, I'm not letting go. I don't want you to go. But if you want to let go, then that's okay. It's okay, baby" Emily cried. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry you didn't think you could talk to me. I wish I could have been there for you. Not just now, but when you where growing up. I should have been there for you when you took your first steps, and when you fell off your bike. But I wasn't. And I'll never forgive myself for that. But it's okay, you do what you need to do" She finished, standing up and placing a kiss on his head before she walked out of the room. Just needing a moment. As she left the room, Roman pulled her into his chest - she knew straight away it was him. She knew his cologne.

He rubbed her back as she cried into his chest. "It's okay, he's strong" Roman said. For a while, the two sat together. Emily's head on Roman's chest. Hours later, there was still no change in Kyle's condition - Connor Rhodes had made it his personal mission to make sure that Emily was always updated on what was happening.

All of a sudden, alarms started going off from inside Kyle's room - causing doctors and nurses to run towards him. Emily stood up, watching as a team of Chicago Med's best worked on her son. Mentally she prayed, not wanting her son to die. But she knew she couldn't be selfish here. If Kyle wanted to leave this earth, then Emily had to respect that - and there was nothing else she could do. After all, she's his mother. She had been there to promise him that she would love him no matter what he did. And this was no different.

Hey guys,
So, I've split this chapter into two parts. With the next part coming soon.
This chapter was really hard for me to write, since it brought up some painful memories for me.
I really hope you like this chapter.
Vote and comment please.
Thank you

Please remember that suicide happens. It's not something people like to talk about because off the stigma attached to it. But it's okay to feel like this, I have. Sometimes I still do. But that doesn't mean you are going through this on your own. Reach out to someone. Talk to a teacher. A friend. A member of your family.

This chapter is dedicated to Dave.

Dave was my psychology teacher in school, and is the only reason I'm still here right now. He helped me through so much and I never thanked him for that.