Winter Air [H.S.]

Thirty-One

They don't know how long they had been sitting there for. Five minutes, fifteen, an hour - it all seemed like a blur. The room was silent. The only sound had been the sirens and honks from the city life below. They both had been utterly consumed by their own thoughts. Not once did Ava's eyes leave the photo in her hands or did Harry's lips from the bottle. 

As time kept on passing, the anxiety that she once felt prior to showing up creeped back up. She felt emotional. The tears that wanted to spill began to creep back up, but she mentally scolded herself. She wasn't going to cry. No! That was not an option right now. She had to be here for Harry. That was all she needed to do. 

"Harry," she spoke softly while keeping her eyes downcast. "You... We... We can get through this. You have me." 

He didn't say a word back. Instead, he took another cigarette from the pack and lit it up. He took a long drag while his eyes kept focus on the wall. 

"Don't! Don't shut me out." Her voice came out stronger this time. Keep it together, Ava. You are all he has, her subconscious reminded. Hesitantly, Ava reached her hand over and lightly placed it on his knee. This time he didn’t flinch. He kept his eyes locked on the wall. Taking her chances, she scooted over so that their bodies touched. He didn't move away. They continued to sit. Her hand placed on his knee and the cigarette snugged in between his lips. 

That is how they stayed for the next hour. The stayed in silence. Harry smoking, lost in his thoughts and Ava's hand on his knee rubbing softly with her thumb. They didn't speak. She didn't push him. He knew that she wasn't going to leave him alone. He knew she was stubborn. He didn't have the energy to fight her off. His body was shut down. It was numb to the world. The only thing he could feel was her small body pressed to his. The only thing keeping him warm was her. Even when he didn't want her to, she still had an affect on him, and Harry didn't have the desire (or energy) to fight it off. 

The minutes turned into hours. It was now ten at night. They had been sitting on the couch for five hours. They didn't speak. She was still processing the news. Harry was going to be a dad, she thought to herself. But not any more. Her mind was spinning at the thought. If Delaine told him - she couldn't even think about it. She knew that if he knew about the baby, they would still be living in England and Ava would not have met him. That thought in itself brought a vile taste to her throat. As selfish as it may have sounded, Ava was happy that Delaine died with Harry’s unborn child. Her selfish side was glad that they didn't have a life together because she couldn't imagine her's without him. But she would never tell him that. She would never confess her happiness towards the subject. That would only cause more trouble and she didn't want to do that. Their relationship (if it still existed) was treading on a thin layer of ice. 

She could feel her eyes grow heavy. Her body and mind were exhausted. Harry was now sitting at the wooden chair at the window. He had stopped smoking and was no longer drinking. She had made him a cup of tea and he had surprisingly accepted it. The only sounds int he room was the TV playing softly in the background. For the past hour she had been watching infomercials not bothering to change. All it was had been background noise. Nothing more. 

Ava finally stood up and walked over to the kitchen. She placed her hands on either side of the sink and slowly stretched her body back. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet above and filled it with some water. Her throat felt like sandpaper. The water giving it some life. 

"You should get some sleep." 

His voice startled her. She looked over at him and he was not looking back. His eyes were still lingering outside the window. She could feel the frustration overcome her emotions. They had been staying in silence for the past few hours not saying a word. She wasn’t going to go to bed now. The last thing that she would do would be to leave him alone. With the state that he was in, she could only imagine what could happen.