Migraine [louis-centric]

Chapter 18

*NOT EDITED* :p

Louis' P.O.V

 I can't hide forever.

I can't go back but I have to. It's a paradox.  

I have to hide the evidence, all the pills, razors and fix up the house. I rush towards my car, their house is approximately an hour away from mine. They don't know the shortcuts to my house and if they drive at an average speed then it will take them at least 15 minutes extra with the confusing turns and at least five minutes to figure out the house. They hardly ever come over, and all the houses in my neighbourhood look similar. 

As I drive over the speed limit, I desperately feel the urge to crash my car and end it all. But I can't do that, not to Niall or the few that actually might care about me. 

After a few turns, I stop in front of my house, quickly parking and getting out.

I stumble while climbing the stairs at the front door, and nearly have a mental breakdown while trying to open the door. When I finally enter my house, the first thing that registers is the smell.

Dead rats.

That's what it smells like. I don't know what dead rats smell like but I think they'll smell like this. I open the windows and spray air freshener all over the house. 

First, I cover the bathroom. There's a bit of blood on the floor, and towels everywhere. I wiped all the blood with some of the towels and stuffed them at the bottom of the laundry basket. Then I dispose of my razors (which still a bit of blood on them) in the back yard, hopefully, I'll step on them and cut my feet. I'll deserve it. 

After the bathroom looks decent, I cleaned up the living room. Which had half empty alcohol bottles everywhere.  It looks like the aftermath of an awesome teenage party. Except no one came to my pity party. 

After all the bottles are thrown into the trash, I swept the floor. Which was covered in all kinds of trash. Then I move onto the most important thing, the pills.

I pop a few pills since I had to take mine for the day/night. In jail, they gave me the pills every day with breakfast. But I didn't get mine for today due to Niall's thankful discovery. Did the alphas notice my smell or were they too busy being angry? Probably not, since they would have said something about it. They probably thought Niall had been roaming with other omegas.

The pills also covered my scent all the while destroying my organs. I needed an area to hide them. I can't throw them out in the trash cause they'll probably search the house, and they'll expect the alcohol bottles in there. I put the pills in the vitamin pills' bottle and I throw the bottle over to the yard of one of the vacant houses in the neighbourhood.  I hope they only search in the house if they even care enough to do so.

I know I shouldn't be hiding the evidence but I'm cowardly. I'm afraid of the consequences, the reactions, the changes. The management would hire assassins to kill me. But Niall would be overjoyed. Some fans would be probably excited while the majority would hate me even more for lying and most likely call it a publicity stunt.

But I don't know how the alphas react. Would they want me in the pack? Ha, I'd be lucky if they became a bit friendlier. 

I get dressed in some pyjamas and wash my face which had a few bruises along the side. I clean all the blood from my busted lip and brush my teeth, making them a little less ugly. Then I lay down on the sofa, switching on the t.v. Netflix is connected to my t.v so I open the first show I see, which happen to be thirteen reasons why. 

And it's so damn ironic. A girl who kills herself, providing thirteen reasons why. What would my reasons be If I killed myself? I don't actually know who I'd blame for all this. The management? The society? The alphas? The fans? Myself? or the human mind?

I zone out thinking when someone bangs on my door rather aggressively.                                               I slowly get up, pausing the episode and put on my poker face. I can do this. 

I open the door and there stand the people who I was expecting. The alphas.

Harry looks disoriented, his hair is a mess and he's taking deep breaths. Liam looks equally out of breath and confused. He eyes me, head to toe while Zayn looks the calmest out of the group. A bit sceptical at the most and looks at me with an unreadable expression. 

Harry hugs me unexpectedly and it takes all the self-control I have to not melt into the hug.  He just smells so damn sweet. 

"Erm... Wassup lads? Everything good?" I say, to break the awkward silence.

"We..um.. have to..talk to you about something... Uhh-"

"Niall told us you were an omega so we came to check." 

Zayn cuts Liam off in a blunt manner, with a cold tone.  Liam throws daggers at Zayn for being so straightforward while Zayn seems so done with all the bullshit. Harry still hasn't let go of me yet, so I push him a bit as to avoid the question. He quickly steps back before whispering to the others.

"There's no scent"

So he wasn't even giving me a decent hug, he was scenting me. And I wanted to cry at that crappy reason. 

Zayn smirks at them, and Liam whispers something like pills, and exchange a few glances. 

"Let us search your house." 

"What! Why the fuck would want to search my house? Isn't what you've done to my face enough boys?"

 I can't let them look through my house even though all the evidence is gone. A real beta won't let them search their house without a proper reason or a fight. 

"As we told you before, Niall has raised some ..um.. suspicions which we need to check since they might huge consequences." Liam calmly replies.

They subtly try to avoid the fact that I might be an omega cause that would mean that they had technically abused me. But what if I actually a beta going through all this? Why wouldn't it be abuse then? Why do I need to be an omega to get justice, why-

"Louis! Move or we'll make you move" Zayn's harsh response pulls me out of my thoughts. I should join equal rights campaign. 

I spit out an even harsher reply, "So you really believe your immature, naive and idiotic omega. Well, I'm sorry to say this but he just fooled all of you, to get off punishment. Gosh, you all are such idiots and that omega! Such a big fat liar-"

I'm cut off my punches and kicks which hurt less than what I just said. I adore Niall, the sweet little omega, but I need them to leave. Harry just looks at me with a disgusted look in his eyes, a bit of pity included. Almost as if he understands.

Liam and Zayn then go searching my house, entering themselves while Harry and I wait at the front door. After about five minutes, they come out shooting me disgusted looks and hurrying out. Harry soon follows, his eyes seem to try and comfort me, before rushing out.

I don't think they even checked the house properly, they were too pissed. I closed the door and sat down against it.

My whole body ached and my head was screaming. I was hearing sirens.

I had one chance to come clean, to restart my life but I blew it.

I want to be happy, but I've only known sadness. I'm brave to go through all this but too cowardly to stop. I like being alone but hate being lonely. I'm worth a million dollars but I'm worthless.

I'm a paradox.

Hi, guys! The ending is a bit rushed, I know. But it's getting late and I need to go to sleep. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! 

btw irrelevant but my birthday's in four days (14th may)! so yay

anyways! all the love xx

QOTC: Lana del ray, Halsey or Melanie Martinez?