chapter 44

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Third person POV

Harry knows it is going to take them time, yet he can't help but wish for the boys to arrive faster. 

He knows speeding is dangerous, but Louis' life is more in danger and it's their fault. The tapping of his foot against the marble floor obviously shows he's growing impatient, which is rare, considering he is the calmest person in the whole band. But he's human too, and all this stress has taken a toll on him too. He doesn't even want to think how much all this affects Louis if it affects him this much and he's not even on the short end of the stick.  

He used to think of Louis as a weak person, once upon a time. He always thought Louis was delicate, from the very first time he laid his eyes on him, in the X-factor toilets. He always used to think one hard enough push and Louis would shatter into a million small pieces, one wrong word and he would fall apart. He always had this maternal urge to protect him, shelter him from the wrongs in the world even though the boy was the oldest in the group and the only adult in the group back then. 

But somewhere along the way, it all changed. Mid- 2012, Harry assumes, when Niall finally presented. The young alpha realized festering his energy in the blond omega was better than wasting his breath on the beta. He stopped being careful with his words, stopped defending him when someone trashed talked about him. He'll be fine, Harry remembers thinking every time his conscious would scream at him. Maybe deep down, he always knew Louis was an omega. Part of him wants to kick himself and the other part of him wants to scream and cry and beg for forgiveness he knows he doesn't deserve. But Louis will forgive him anyway, that's just how Louis is, too pure for this contaminated world. 

Sometimes he wishes Louis would die. At least that way he would be free. He would be at peace, not hanging by the thread. He could breathe and move freely, without being constrained. He could love what he wanted and do what he wished without his every move being monitored. After all, he has been through, Harry finds it very selfish of him to keep him here. Ironically, he feels Louis would be happier in afterlife. 

"Harry?" The voice startles him and he doesn't even need to turn around to know it's Louis. He turns around to look at the boy, shifting his eyes from the spot in the wall he had been idly staring into. His hair is disheveled and his voice is raspy as if he just got up. 

"Liam, Niall, and Zayn are here. They said they wanted to talk? Um, is it about me? I-I mean did I do something wrong? Everything okay, right?" And Louis looked so small at that moment, Harry just wanted to hold him and never let go. But right now, he had more important things to deal with. 

"Actually-Lou. We-we need to have this conversation for a while now, I mean, we already have postponed it for so long, and ugh, it's just better for all of us to sit down." The confused look he get's from Louis is enough for him to start speaking again. 

"Look, Louis. I love you, even if it doesn't seem like it, I promise I will mend my ways. And so will the pack but we need to clear some doubts, please?"

Louis just nods, still confused and taken back by Harry's words. He doesn't remember the last time some said 'I love you' to him.  

Niall sits between Zayn and Liam on Louis' extremely large sofa (he's still a millionaire), looking extremely worried. Liam's eyes remain rained on his lap and Zayn's eyes search the whole living room. From the bare walls to the scene outside, the silence in the house somehow manages to send shivers down his spine. 

The soft sound of footsteps causes the trio to direct their attention to the hallway. There Louis walks in, hair still disheveled with Harry behind him, not looking much better. The air between them hangs heavy, no one knows what to say and it reminds Niall of the first few days as a band. All of them had an aura of awkwardness around them. Even after spending nearly five years, surrounded by each other's dirty laundry and smell, they still couldn't find words to say to each other. 

Harry shuffled to the love seat closest to him while Louis sat on one of the chairs across the pack and next to Harry. 

"So..Um... What's going on? Is- is everything okay?" 

Liam looks at him- actually looks at him- for the first time in a long time and doesn't see the infamous and cocky tommo the notorious beta he's grown familiar with. For the first time, he sees the reflection of a shattered person. Someone rough around the edges from being thrown and dragged on the floor so much. He sees the small, scared omega and honestly, that's all it takes for his doubt to disappear.

They're a mess, but they'll live.


hello! sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry for this...chapter. i know i've been gone for a month and i have finals which get over on tuesday. i've been meaning to update but i have a terrible writers block. if someone's still reading this, thank you. i can no put it in words how much it means to me. sorry for all the grammatical errors, please don't give up on the story, i will try to update often. the book is close to it's end anyways.

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