Migraine [louis-centric]

chapter 36

third person P.O.V

Louis stood jammed between John and the bleached wall of the hospital. 

There was no risk of getting caught here as firstly it was a private, expensive hospital reserved for only emergencies, really bad conditions and the rich. Secondly, it was the most isolated part of the hospital, the north-west wing toilets. No one ever really came here unless they fancied seeing a dead body as the morgue was further down the corridor. 

John grinned, in a way which made Louis shiver. The grin was malicious, as though he had something horrible planned for Louis. 

"Ahh, Mr. Tomlinson. Finally, we can have a little chat."

Louis could feel the sarcasm dripping from his voice, he knew what John was doing. Stretching out his misery, making every moment agonizing for him. Louis could feel dread coil at the pit of his stomach as his heart thumped loudly in his ears. If this happened to get physical (like the few times in the past) Louis could probably stand a few punches and kicks. But without suppressants numbing the pain and his already weakened body due to the aftermath of suppressants and extensive treatment, Louis would be knocked out at one go. 

He needed to keep this as professional as he could, breathing in slowly.

"And what might that be about Mr. Jones?"

Bad move. Louis could now smell the anger radiating from John. He shouldn't have the same tone with John, it pissed him off when people talked to him like that, especially the ones lower him. But at least, Louis knew that his sense of smell isn't completely gone.

John took a sudden step forward, pushing Louis harder against the wall. Even closer than he already was.

"Don't you fucking dare sass me! You should be fucking happy you're still alive, you little worthless good for nothing! You broke the fucking contract, you told the fucking pack and then you did stupid shit like be seen kissing Harry, which I still don't know the whole story behind, and then you decide to sass me. You're not even good enough for the band, I don't even remember why we put you in the band. So mind your fucking language, Cause I hold the key to your future. It's a fucking favor that you're still here. So you listen to me-," John shoved a finger in Louis' chest, enjoying every second of the crippling fear present in the smaller boy's eyes, "-without me, you would be nothing, absolutely nothing. Next time, instead of trying to get attention like the little whore you are, use that fucking peanut-sized brain and ask me before you do anything!" 

And in that moment, Louis swore he wanted the moon to fall on earth and destroy the whole plant. He wanted to sob and scream and run into the street where a car might hit him, killing him for good, this time. His insides twisted into knots, the voices in his brain screamed, he couldn't even feel the part of his skin where he had been digging his nails.

"I'm sorry."

And Louis meant it. Every word coming out of John's mouth was correct, at least to him. He wasn't good enough, he'd never be good enough. His once beautiful eyes looked like death. His face looked like that of a 60-year old man, his stubble was disgusting. Fat poked out of every inch of his body, thighs the size of couches and fat rolls bulging out. He was always going to have the body of a nine-year-old, while the other guys became butch. Louis would always be the fat and girly. The only remotely decent thing about him had been was his voice. Which he destroyed by puking out most of he ate (he couldn't afford those calories) and smoking non-stop. He hated himself, more than any hater in the world ever could. All those times he told himself it would get better was all a lie, he was never going to be 'fine'. 

He really just wanted to peel his skin off and get out of the cage of a body that held him. He didn't want to be him anymore, he rather be anyone else in the world. Because in Louis' mind, he was an abomination. A worthless creature ready for disposal. A mistake.

"Oh, so you think a sorry is going to fix it? What is this Tomlinson? Second grade? where you steal my cookies and then say sorry so I let you play with me on the monkey bars? Please don't tell me you're so naive that you don't even know that this is not how this works. You know, how much work I'm having to put into this? Do you know? Do you know how much I'm doing so your identity can be a secret?"

"I'm sorry, John. I really am. I'll do anything to help."

"Okay then" And there it was again, the infamous grin which made Louis' blood run cold. 

"It's simple, what you need to do. We-no wait- I am going to fix this. You have two choices, you carry on with suppressants so the world knows you as the beta bad boy-as they already do- but you can be an omega with the pack while the pack goes through some scandal every 12 months and we all carry on as though it never happened. Or the second choice, you go and tell the pack that you did all this for attention. That everything is false, you were trying to get validation on being a part of this band. That the medical reports were fake and the doctor who uncovered you as an omega was paid to say it. That it was meant to be the next big headline since the pack isn't doing anything to remain relevant."

Louis' breath caught in his throat, it was happening again. He was going back to the lifestyle which will certainly kill him in the near future, but then again, he did want to die.

"But- h-how? will that work? I showed them official documents, the contracts we signed. The doctor, Dr. Gray, has been the go-to band doctor for three years now. And this hospital, it's known to always be authentic. And those medical reports, they are all official! How is this going to work?"

John smiled, "Never underestimate the power of wealth, Louis. I know the right people for the job, the most flawless storyline. I know which strings to pull to make you all dance like lifeless rug dolls for me. And if such a terrible actor like you can fool them into believing that you're a beta for four years, then believe me. They aren't very strong obstacles to take out. So which option do you take Louis? Carry on with suppressants, be a beta in front of the world but an omega at home, but have the pack go through scandals annually. Or carry on with your normal life, nothing changes and everything is right what it used to be."

And the silence in the room kills Louis, it suffocates him. Filling his lungs with water and drown him in the sound of the clock ticking. His heart pumped slowly as if even his body was giving up on life. If he took the first option, he could at least have comfort at home but the pack would never agree on letting him take the suppressants again. And he couldn't let them go through the horrible scandals he went through even if it was only once a year. He didn't have a choice but to take the second one. He was trapped. Telling them it was all a lie, a big elaborate prank, something for attention and nothing would change. Maybe, that was what he needed to do. Stop thinking about himself but for others.

"I'll take the second option."

And as Louis gave away his only chance at living, John just smiled.

hey everybody! im sorry for taking forever to post this chapter but i've been busy. my life's a bit of a mess right now with the exam results coming back. i know i promised a update last week but i'm so sorry. my mum hasn't been very well and my dad's not around. So if you are the few people who are still reading this, thank you so much. i can never appreciate it enough. also, sorry for any gramatical errors.
if you want to reach me through social media as i might not be online on wattpad, here's my snapchat: alicewonder121