Whispers of the Night

Tension in the fraying

"What you doing?" I asked quietly startling Zak from his position.

"Jesus Scarlett." He grumbled with his hand over his heart.

"What?" I asked amused.

"All these years and you can still creep around like a darn cat.." He moaned before stepping away from the glass doors and taking a seat on the couch.

"What's up with you? Grumpy."

He shook his head pushing the question away, but I folded my arms giving him the idea that I wasn't going to let up any time soon. He rolled his eyes "Okay fine. I-.. I know last night was different but this is a lot to take in."

"Avari." I confirmed sitting on the end of the couch.

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a way out here, no I don't want that it's just-"

"You're not prepared to be a father, you've been thrown in the deep and asked to swim with a brick around your neck. You're struggling."

He looked ashamed but nodded.

"It's perfectly normal, Zak. In fact, I think I'd be worried if you took to a duck on water without having doubts. But I stand by what I've said, Avari doesn't need anyone but me. I'll be her everything, as I always have."

"No I want to be a part of her life." He confirmed.

"But a silent part?"

A frown filled his face "I'm not going to be a dead beat father."

"Right now you're not any kind of father.." I pointed out. "And not that I'm complaining, but as you know Ava is a lot of time. Patience, attention and some days she will drive you insane and other days? She's all you need when the world is coming down around you."

Zak shifted thinking about it.

"I understand if this is too much, but you now know.. Avari doesn't and if you're not going to put 100% into this, then I'd like your permission to withhold the information until she is old enough to make her own decisions and when she is old enough to understand."

"Bu-"

"I know your lifestyle Zak, I know how you live, your job and how much stress you come under. I also know how hard you work, and money for Avari? I don't want it. I've done this much on my own. I didn't tell you because I wanted something out of this. I told you because well... You need to know. One day she will too. And when that day comes, I hope you're ready. My biggest regret was leaving and not having the conversation with you like I did with Devin." I explained.

"Why are you being so nice? I'd kick my fucking ass." He grumbled.

"Why would I be mad? I have no ill feelings towards you Zak, you've gave my little girl back. For that, I'll always be grateful. I only wish for you to be happy, because since I've been back, this? This façade. It doesn't wash with me. Maybe it's because I know you more than you know yourself or others. But I see through your mask. You're fighting something, but it's not dark, it's not your job.."

He looked down to the floor frowning hard. My emotions choked me up slightly "I- it's like you're lonely and that is the saddest thing in the world." I replied as a tear escaped.

Zak's eyes shot to my face as I wiped my eyes. "Hey don't cry." Zak hushed.

"Sorry, it's just sad to see. What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know anymore." He admitted.

I moved seats and sat beside him giving him a hug. "I know you're not a real hugger but it makes people happy. Remember? Hug me back or I'll tell Avari." I warned causing a chuckle to leave his chest as he hugged me back.