Think Again (Camren)

Shattered and Broken Worlds

Camila's PoV

I sat against his bed, waiting for him to finish his shower. Arriving at his place after leaving my sister and Lauren at the school, I came to his house only to find his parents home and no Austin.

He just got back from a game with the boys and told me to give him a few minutes so he could shower. While he was out with his friends, I decided to wait for him because I needed to break it off that night or else it'd just get harder for me to do so.

Not because I was in love with Austin, but because I truly did care for him and the longer I dragged him along, the worse I'd feel and it wasn't fair to him.

"Hey babe." Austin walked back into his room with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was wet but he took a seat beside and squeezed my thigh. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you were here. If I would've known, I would've told the guys some other time. I missed you." He leaned towards me and kissed my cheek.

Oh God. It was going to be harder than I thought.

I watched as Austin got up and threw on a t-shirt and disappeared in his closet before coming back out with his boxer's on. I was thankful he didn't drop his towel in front of me.

"So what brings you by on a Monday?" He smiled and took his seat back.

My mouth had went dry. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweating. I was about to break this guy's heart. I took a deep breath. "So I heard you and Kyla hung out this weekend." It didn't sound accusatory; I just needed to shift some of the deadly weight off my shoulders before proceeding with my break up.

Austin nodded, swallowing. He smiled softly and scratched the back of his neck. "She's nice," he tucked some hair behind my ear, "I was kind of shocked when she told me you had asked Laur to go with you to London."

I shrugged. "I think she needed the break."

Austin raised an eyebrow. "A break from what? She's the one-"

I stood up abruptly and turned to face him. "Don't." I warned him. I would not let him bring Lauren into the situation. "You act like I can't be her friend because you two are having issues, Austin. Just, leave her out of this."

Austin frowned in confusion. "Out of what, Camila? What's going on?"

I rubbed my temples and paced his bedroom slightly. "Look," I didn't want to look at him. I couldn't. "I've done a lot of thinking about us, Austin. When I first met you, I was completely enthralled. You made me happy and proud to be your girlfriend. It was a nice feeling, you know?"

"Camila." The tone in his voice told me he knew what was about to happen. "Please."

"Lately, you've been different. I never pegged you as the over possessive type and yet, you proved me wrong. I get that you were a little concerned but you were just stepping over lines, yelling in public and making my best friend spy on me for you." I swallowed and finally looked at him. His shoulders were slumped and his head was hanging in shame.

"Camila, you can't do this!" Austin shot up from his bed, grabbing me by my arms, his eyes pleading. "I love you so much."

I bit my tongue. I knew he was messing around with Kyla behind my back. But I was going to be reasonable and not allow myself to drag her in this while I protected Lauren. It wouldn't be fair and I didn't want this break up to be tainted. "No, you don't."

Austin's eyes turned dark as he clenched his jaw together. He let go of me and just stared at me. "Who is he?"

What?

"Who is who?" I frowned, utterly confused.

"The guy Mila!" He raised his voice, "the guy you're fucking behind my back!"

"Fuck you," I spat and shook my head, "there is no guy Austin. This isn't about anyone else, but you and me."

"Right." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Austin," my voice was softer as I got his attention, "we graduate in six months. We never talked about where we will be after school ends. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I just, I want to get into a great school with a great hockey team and live my life one day at a time." I stepped forward and placed my hands on his chest. "I want you to be able to play basketball, have fun with your buddies and just be a guy. Why should we feel tied down at such a crucial age and time?" My voice cracked as I felt his body go slightly limp.

Austin remained quiet, his eyes closed tightly before he opened them and looked at me, tears spilling from his green eyes. My heart fell. "Six months, we had six months to figure this out so why break up with me now? Don't you love me?"

"Oh God," I breathed with sadness, "I do Austin, I really do." I bit my lip and placed my hand over his heart, "but I'm not in love with you." I didn't mean for it to spill out that way, but it did. I couldn't take it back.

The world probably crashed down around Austin that day as he crumbled to his knees. I've never seen a guy so emotional before and I didn't know he'd take it that hard. "I can't believe this." He whispered.

I knelt down in front of him and cupped his face, wiping his tears with my thumbs. I knew I was crying too because I cared for him. I broke his heart and he was hurting because of me. "You were the greatest boyfriend Austin and one day," I sighed softly, "you're going to make that girl unbelievably happy and she's going to be lucky to have you."

"Stop," he sobbed and stood up, "stop making me feel better. You don't get to do that after breaking my heart into a million fucking pieces Camila." He shook his head and violently wiped away his tears and headed towards the door, "I do love you," he whispered before walking out of his room

I sat there on his bedroom floor feeling numb. I felt like scum. I felt like I was the worst person in the world and for what reason? The only reason why Austin acted the way he did was because he was jealous.

The guy had good reason. I was messing around with his cousin behind his back and what made it worse is that while he believed he had the key to my heart, I had given it to Lauren without question.

I stood up and looked around his room one last time. I'd cry over this. I would. I'd cry over the memories I shared with him when we were happy. I couldn't give him those memories anymore. My heart belonged to another. He deserved to be happy.

I left the house quietly and drove home in silence with no music blaring like usual.

It was safe to say that, that was when things started to blur between everyone.

It was safe to say that there would be day when I knew what Austin went through that night.

And I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

Not even her.