Think Again (Camren)

Did That Just Happen?

Lauren's PoV

I can still hear her voice. See her smile. Feel her touch.

It was inevitable; Cabello and I were meant to be more than just friends.

But the heartache it caused when it was all said and done changed our lives forever.

- - - -

You loom over me like a shadow

That is so surprisingly beautiful

You speak to me like only I exist

In your world baby

But how could I fall in love

How could I be your only

When everything else too hard enough

Why couldn't love be lonely

I could deal with lonely

I strummed on my guitar as I looked out at the pond. The ice had melted a couple months back but I still came here when I wasn't around Camila. I'd sit on the bench with my guitar and just write or sing or play on impulse. It was peaceful. Just like Camila had promised.

I thought back to the night when Camila took me out here after Austin found out about us. After the drama that rocked the inner circle of our friends.

- - - -

"What made you bring me here?" I asked, my hand making its way to her hair, threading my cold digits through the silky strands. Snowflakes drifted gently around us and when she looked up at me with her gorgeous chocolate eyes, she had to blink away some the soft flakes that landed on her eyelashes. Camila was so beautiful. She was mine.

She shrugged and bit her lip, smiling shyly while her fingers finished up with my skates. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she got her own skates on, watching how her fingers worked graciously. "It's peaceful here," she looked up at the sky, her cheeks pink and rosy, "I think we deserve this peace before school begins."

- - - -

I wished she was with me at that moment, the sun shining down brightly, the birds singing a melody of their own.

I walked away from her, once again. I couldn't help it. I was feeling so much, too much at once. I just needed time to think about what was going to happen. Time to process it all.

I was so incredibly in love with Camila. I wanted to give her the world. I wanted to give up everything just to be with her. I couldn't though.

Deep down, I knew I'd never forgive myself for distracting her from her dreams. Camila was the greatest hockey player in Southern Ontario. She was rewarded and acknowledged as one. Before me, hockey was her life, hockey was her goal and she had the chance to be who she really wanted to be and do what she really wanted to do.

I strummed a few more notes before sighing and placing my notebook and guitar away. I walked along the grassy area of the pond and threw a few rocks in, watching the ripples in the water increase then disappear.

I just wanted to shut out the world for a few more minutes before heading back into the madness.

I shook my head to myself and threw my guitar on the backseat of my mustang before tearing out of the peaceful area.

It was the last time I ever felt peace.

* * *

I guess avoiding Camila would be an understatement. It was the night before graduation and I had seen her once since I left her place early on that week.