Soukoku OneShots

A reason living

Chuuya ran and ran and ran ...

He couldn't afford to be late ... he couldn't afford to fail ...

Not this time ...

He had to reach him ... to save him ...

"If there is any God out there ... please ... i beg you ... let me reach him ..."

He was crying ... as if he already knew what was waiting for him ...

Because .. yeah, there was no god to hear his prayer ... there was no god to hear a prayer that came from such a tainted soul as his ...

He knew it .. yet he still begged ... with all his might ... maybe this way ... he won't have to regret ... No, he was just lying to himself ... because regrets would never leave him ... him who has such a tainted soul ...

The end was obvious ... Chuuya was late ...

He didn't reach him ... he didn't save him ... he could just cry beside Dazai's bleeding body ... and regret ...

"Don't leave me, Dazai ..." he cried.

Dazai lifted his hand and cupped Chuuya's cheek ...

"Just ... when i found a reason to live ..." Dazai whispered.

"Don't leave me ..." repeated Chuuya.

"... life ... is cruel ..." Dazai whispered, his eyes closing little by little ... life leaving him little by little.

"Dazai ... don't leave me ..." repeated Chuuya ... in vain ...

"I ... love you .. Chuuya ..." Dazai's hand fell to the ground ... his soul already left ... leaving a cold, bloody corpse there ...

"No ... you can't ..." Chuuya cried .. "No .. Dazai .. please ... i beg you .. don't leave me alone ... don't leave me ... DON'T ..."

☆

"...LEAVE ME !!"

"Wake up, Chuuya !!" Dazai hugged the shivering body beside him tightly :"Don't worry, Chuuya it was just a nightmare okay ..."

"Dazai ..." Chuuya whispered while tears were falling down his cheeks :"Dazai ... Dazai ... Dazai ..."

"Yeah Chuuya, i'm here ..." said Dazai gently while petting his ginger's head.

Chuuya pulled away and put his hands on both sides of the other's face :"You really are here Dazai ... it's you ... you're here ... you didn't die !!"

Dazai smiled softly :"I didn't die Chuuya, look at this gorgeous face, it still is here" he chuckeled.

Chuuya's hands went from the other's hair to his eyes .. to his cheeks ... to his nose .. then to his lips ... :"I saw you dying .. leaving me alone ... again ..."

"I would never leave you Chuuya, look at your hand" Dazai lifted Chuuya's hand and kissed his ring finger " ... we're already married Chuuya, i have no reason to leave you ..."

Chuuya snuggled into the other's chest and whispered :"Yeah ... that's it ... we're already married ... so you're not getting away from me okay ... don't ever think about it ..."

Dazai couldn't contain his laugh :"Why would i think of getting away of my reason living after all i went throught to find it ... ? You're being stupid again Chuuya "

Chuuya pulled away and looked at him with his big blue watery eyes :"Do you really mean it ... ?"

"I do ..." whispered Dazai then he leaned down and gave the other's soft lips a gentle kiss :" ... you are my reason living, Chuuya ."

☆

Chuuya suddenly woke up at his dark ceiling facing him.

"What was that ..." he yawned while putting his arm on his face.

He checked his phone and found that it still was 3 a.m. Then, without even thinking, his finger went to search for "Mackerel" and pressed on 'Call'. He didn't realize what he just did till he heared the other's voice on the other side saying 'Hello'

Chuuya thought for a second about ending the call but ended up saying 'hey'

"Are you drunk ?" Dazai asked immediatly.

"I'm sober" Chuuya answered with a whisper as if he was afraid that someone would hear him, even though he was alone in his big, dark, cold apartment.

"How come ?" The other's surprised tone was obvious :"You never call when you are sober ..."

"I had a dream ... well a double dream actually ..." he corrected himself.

"What happened in this double dream ?" Asked Dazai with a not too interested tone.

"In the first one you died, in the second one ..." he paused for a moment then continued :"We were married and ... you said that i was you reason living ..."

Chuuya felt tears in his eyes, but no, he couldn't cry, not now ... he had to be patient.

"And ?" Asked Dazai with the same tone, he was way too good at acting.

The silence reigned for a moment till Chuuya interrupted it :"Which one was a nightmare ?"

Another silence, which was interrupted this time by Dazai's teasing tone :"The second one obviously~" he heared nothing on the other end of the line so he added :"What about you ?"

"The second, probably ..." answered Chuuya with a weak laugh, Dazai would laugh at how fake it seemed, Chuuya was so bad at acting, as usual.

After a moment, Chuuya came back to his usual tone and said :"Go to sleep now, waste of bandages ..."

"You're the one waking me up, hatrack" answered Dazai instently.

Chuuya knew his partner/ex partner way too well :"I bet you weren't sleeping ..."

"You know me too well~" laughed the other which irritated the ginger.

"I wish you a bad night and super bad dreams you suicidal maniac !!" Said Chuuya irritatingly.

"You're so nice Chuuya~" teased Dazai :"Wasting your wishes on me ..."

"Go die !!" Answered Chuuya angrily, but he still didn't end the call, was it because he wanted to hear the other's voice even more ?

Well, isn't that obvious ?!

He waited for the other to make a comment about how much he wanted to die, but there was only silence in the other side ... till the other said this one line :"Did you know that nightmars have higher chances to become real ?" Then ended the call leaving Chuuya between surprise and confusion and wanting to cry and many other feelings.

He layed there looking at his ceiling and thinking, the meaning was obvious, wasn't it ?

But it was also Dazai who said it, so maybe ...

"Aaaah !!!!" He complained while putting his face on the pillow to contain his voice :"What is that even supposed to mean ????!"

He decided not to think too much, there was no use in thinking at all. It was better for him to just go back to sleep.

☆

It was 7 a.m, Chuuya had to get up and go to work even if he didn't or he couldn't go back to sleep at all in the past five hours.

He eventually got up while muttering tiredly :"Fuck you Dazai ... I hate you !!"

☆

Requested by ChiaraVirga2 i wish you like it~ I actually did my best not to turn it to dark angst ;-;