the ski lodge ➳ zarry

⤿ part thirty six: how they cried

Harry Styles

Harry laid there, in his bed crying.

His pillow was tear soaked, but he couldn't stop.

Leigh Anne and Perrie constantly kept asking him if he was okay, and he didn't answer.

He couldn't answer.

"Harry, love," Leigh Anne soothed, rubbing small circles on Harry's back.

Perrie pushed Harry's long curls out of his face and sighed. "We've never seen you like this love, what's up?"

"Did Zayn do something? Because I'll beat his dumbass," Leigh Anne shot, and Perrie shushed her.

Leigh ignored though and continued. "I knew he was a fuckboy, don't you see the way he looks at literally every bitch? Fuckboy!"

"He's gay Leigh Anne," Harry finally sniffled, which caused Leigh and Perrie to jump.

"I knew it'd get him talking!" Leigh Anne smiled, giving Perrie a high five.

"What happened Harry? We're so scared for you, what the hell?" Perrie pushed Harry's body over making space for her to sit on the edge of his bed.

Leigh Anne was already seated on the other side of his bed, waiting for his answer.

"I called Zayn an asshole when he was trying to help me.." He whispered. "I didn't tell him,"

"Tell him.." Leigh Anne trailed off as it clicked.

"Oh baby," Perrie sighed, starting a braid on the top of Harry's head, making her way down.

"That's not something he needs to know yet. That's something you tell him when you're ready," Leigh Anne added in, continuing her circles on his back.

"But it literally happened the day before his party," Harry's voice raspy, due to his continuous crying.

"Is that why you were drinking babe?" Leigh Anne asked, and Harry nodded.

"I needed to get it off my mind, I needed to do something,"

"That's why he had sex with Zayn so quickly too," Perrie told Leigh who nodded.

"Noted," She said, tapping the side of her temple.

"I think I need to tell him," Harry sighed. "I mean, I owe that to him,"

"You don't owe Zayn anything but your love," Perrie said, finishing off Harry's braid.

"This is apart of my love," Harry said, sitting up. "Trust. I trust him, therefore I tell him things,"

Leigh Anne nodded again. "Noted again,"

"That makes sense," Perrie added, getting up and sitting at the end of Harry's bed, her legs crossed now that there was more space.

Harry scooted over, causing Leigh Anne to scoot over as well.

"Wash this," She laughed, throwing Harry's tear-soaked pillow onto the floor, and grabbing another to lean against.

Harry wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "I trust him," He stated simply which gained nods from his two friends.

"We know," The two girls said in unison.

"And on behalf of your two best friends, we believe that you should tell him," Leigh Anne confirmed. 

Sighing heavily, Harry opened his mouth to speak. "That I have fucking issues?"

This cued more tears.

"Oh baby," Perrie sighed scooting up and placing a hand on Harry's thigh. "It's not your fault,"

"Just saying it makes me feel like a pussy," Harry buried his face into the top of his knees. 

"There are no issues babe," Leigh Anne said. "You are who you are. Everything about you makes you. And if Zayn really loves you, he'll accept you no matter what,"

Harry sighed. "I hate myself,"

"No babe no," Perrie got up and moved to sit beside Harry. Wrapping her arms around his broken body, she held him close to her heart. "You shouldn't hate yourself,"

Harry couldn't get anything out except a soft cry. 

"You're okay love," Leigh Anne said, keeping her hand on his shoulder. "You tell him when you're ready,"

"I'll never be," Harry's voice was muffled against his knees. 

"It may seem like that now, but soon I promise it'll get better," Perrie said. "I know you probably don't want to hear that, but I promise you it does,"

"Yeah, Perrie is right," Leigh Anne smiled at her girlfriend. "Things do get better. The world always looks up, it always does,"

"The world is shit," Harry groaned, looking back up his eyes red and puffy. 

"The world can be a dick sometimes," Perrie said, as she always did, putting her positive spin on everything.

"Sometimes," Leigh Anne scoffed at Perrie's statement.

Perrie shook her head. "Fuck you Leigh Anne, look at what the world did to Harry! The world gave Harry a boyfriend. The world gave Harry a first kiss, the world gave Harry someone to love more than he loves himself. The world gave Harry heartache, the world gave Harry everything,"

"Heartache is good?" Leigh Anne frowned. "What?"

"No, I mean heartache as in like Zayn squeezes Harry's heart. In a good way,"

"So the world gave me a good heart squeeze?" Harry asked, cracking a chuckle. 

"Exactly," Perrie nodded, poking Harry's cheek. "A good heart squeeze,"

"A good heart squeeze," Harry repeated, smiling a little.

Harry's smile came as a good sign to Leigh Anne and Perrie.

"A good heart squeeze," Leigh Anne started laughing, which brought Harry and Perrie to laughter as well.

"Thank you for everything you do for me," Harry said quietly.

"We'd do anything and everything for you Harry," Perrie smiled, pulling Harry closer to her chest.

"Oh! Not there!" Harry said, pulling away as he was technically being squished into her boobs.

"Oh damn," Leigh Anne laughed. "I'd love to be squished in there, you're a sore loser Harry,"

Wiping his face, Harry nodded. "You would, I wouldn't,"

The three laughed, and as soon as it died down, Perrie piped up quietly.

"Harry can I ask you something..?" She asked clearly hesitant.

"Anything Pez," Harry nodded, forcing a smile.

"Did.. Did Zayn distract you all this time? Because Leigh Anne and I have never seen you so happy, and now.. Everything is just hitting you.. All at once.."

Sighing, Harry buried his head into the palms of his hands. "Fuck," Harry spoke.

"D-Did I say something bad?" Perrie asked, immediately concerned. 

"No," Harry shook his head. "The thing is you're right,"

a/n: What's up with Harry guys omg??

it's been a bit since i updated shit has gone down.

me and the not so fuckboy anymore are something special

and we went on our end of year trip?

not a lot happened i'm kidding.

i love u guys 

- alexis !!