the ski lodge ➳ zarry

⤿ part thirty seven: how they were brain dead

Zayn Malik

Harry came to Zayn's room in a rush that day.

He caught Zayn of guard as he bursted into Zayn's bedroom, and plopped down onto his bed his eyes filling with tears immediately.

"Did Niall let you in?" Zayn asked, watching as Harry laid himself down on his side of Zayn's bed.

"You left one of your keys in my room," Harry said quietly.

Zayn looked at the small boy, and immediately filled with confusion. "Are you okay love?"

"I'm sorry about the fight," Harry sniffled. "I haven't been well lately,"

"What's up Harry?" Zayn grew more concerned by the second. "D-Do you want to talk to me?"

Harry stayed quiet for a while, and Zayn didn't push.

Until he finally said it.

"I'm depressed," He scoffed, wiping another tear. "Like, fuck me right?"

Zayn frowned. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because I sound like a fucking pussy Zayn, that's why!" As Harry's anger built up, Zayn laid down beside him and held him close to his body.

"Shh babe," Zayn soothed, pressing a kiss onto the top of Harry's head. "You think that will change how much I love you?" He then asked, frowning as he held Harry's fragile body in his arms.

"I never said that," Harry sniffled, his tears falling onto Zayn's black t-shirt. "It's just.. I've been so good.. Everything has been so good.."

Zayn listened, as Harry continued. Zayn's heart hurt.

"I've been off the antidepressants for like.. A couple months now? I mean, I took them for a fucking year and I was fucking fine. And then I met you, and.. Fuck you Zayn, you make me so goddamn happy," Harry sucked in a breath. "And for a second, I even thought my dad was happy for me.. Like up there.."

Up there. Zayn played that in his mind.

"Like, my dad was on my mind.. But.. In a good way.. Like I had some kind of energy telling me that he accepted me for who I am," Harry spoke, and with each word, Zayn held him tighter.

"He has to be happy for you," Zayn said quietly. "He's your father,"

Harry scoffed. "Yeah,"

"Harry, listen to me," Zayn said sitting up, causing Harry's to jerk up as well.

Harry wiped his eyes and nodded.

"You only came out to your Mum," He said. "At that point, your dad had already passed. I think he was probably so proud of you, proud of everything you do, everything you continue to do. He's your father. He loves you unconditionally. I see it through everything you've told me about him,"

Harry squeezed his eyes shut. Then opened them.

Then he kissed Zayn. With all the power, all the affection he had in him.

"I love you Zayn," Harry breathed once they parted. "I love you so much,"

"I love you Harry Edward Styles," Zayn smiled, pressing another kiss onto Harry's soft lips. "More than you could imagine,"