From This Dream

Bad year...?

Jimi's P.O.V

It's been a month since the mishap on the bus, Karen is now three months pregnant, she is almost out of the first semester. Her morning sickness is kinda bad. And her hormones are really out there. When I mean out there I mean full on sex mode. One minute she could be getting sick from her morning sickness and lay down, then as she's laying down she gets frisky.
The doctor said it's all from he mixed hormones and the sickness will pass and the sex drive could possibly stay or leave.

Ever since the 'Dan' incident, Karen has never been alone, and she doesn't come to interviews anymore, she hasn't really spoken to anyone besides me, Kim, Phillip, Rebecca and Steven, and also the girls. She will sing on stage and be smiling but as soon as the show is over she walks off and gets right on the bus. She also hasn't eaten a lot lately either. I feel horrible cause I can't help her but I feel worse that she won't talk to me about her. She will only talk about simple things. I want to know why she doesn't go to interviews or smile anymore.

Karen went to bed a few minutes after finishing a show in Chicago, I followed her to the bus to make sure everything was good. She did ask me why I followed her. I just said I was tired as well. So here I am laying on my bunk listening to Karen's breathing. I don't know if she's awake or asleep because her curtain is pull closed. I get out of my bunk quietly and pull her curtain back. She's on her side facing the wall. I sneak in beside her laying on my side so my chest is against her back. I slide my arms around her carefully setting them on her stomach and her hands slowly move on top of mine. I know she's awake.
"How ya feeling baby..?"
"Tired and sick... and also kinda in the mood too..." I hold her a little closer.
"Baby if you need anything I'm here, you can talk to me..."
"I'm scared..." this is the first time Karen wanted the conversation to farther. Every time I ask she just drops the topic or plays with the girls.
"Scared of what baby..?"
"Being happy... we were so happy and every time we are happy something comes and ruins it..."
"Baby nothing will ever ruin our happiness. Especially because we are over joyed for this baby... I love you and this baby and nothing will ever change my mind. I'm so happy... we've tried for so long to have a baby. Now we are getting one."
"So you're not mad..?"
"Mad..? Mad at what..?"
"I thought you would be mad and get really over protective... but you kinda didn't and hen I kinda got mad and now I don't really do anything anymore..."
"Baby I was only mad at the man who hurt you. And protective... baby I watch you like a hawk now. You might not notice it but even like tonight. I followed you to the bus and just told you I was tired. But that was an excuse to watch over you... and Kim would do the same when we made pit stops at a store, someone would always go with you by saying they needed something to snack on. Even if we had lots of snacks. Baby you are my life and every since the day we got married I've been watching you. More now that you're pregnant."

She did say anything but she turned in my arms to face me. I watch her and she curls up to my side.
"You really asked people to watch over me...?"
"I did... mostly when I wasn't there. But I've been there the entire time."
"So on stage when I see you looking at me..?"
"well I look at you for a couple reasons... you're my wife. I make sure no one touches you unless you shake their hand or something, I Look at your beautiful smile, your body and your ass. And when I don't focus on any of that... I watch your stomach... I try and see if there is a small bump coming... cause I haven't seen your stomach in a month."
"You've seen me naked when we have sex."
"Not really babe, think about it. You don't undress fully anymore. You always keep your shirt on." She lays there and thinks.
"Oh your right... I've been a horrible wife.." she starts crying and I hold her close.
"No baby... you're not horrible... you'll never be horrible... this was just your way of healing and processing everything that happened. Baby it's not your fault. I love you and don't ever think like that." She nods and lays against me. I wipe the stray tears that fallen and she looks up at me. I watch her with a smile and she rolls off of me and onto her back. She lifts up her (my old) shirt and her stomach has a bump. It's not noticeable if you don't know what you're looking for, but I do.