From This Dream

Too Early

The tour has been quiet and stressful. I don't wanna deal with anything while on the tour, I have enough to deal with. Everyone knows it. Jimi keeps insisting we talk about what happened. I don't. I don't wanna have to talk about me possible saying goodbye to my husband cause he made a choice. I don't wanna have to get a divorce cause I can't trust him or the live between us dies cause he fell for another. I don't wanna have to raise our babies alone. I don't wanna have to give birth to our third child with no husband to go home too and help. I don't wanna even be thinking about all this. But I am. I can't deny it much longer. Soon the tour will be over and I'll be home with the kids and Jimi. The tour ends in a week. I'm not ready to deal with reality.

It's 4 in the afternoon. I am laying at the back of the bus on the couch alone rubbing my stomach. I'm 8 months, I am really feeling the pregnancy affect me now. The sore feet and back, the sickness, everything. I got it.y eyes are closed and have been for a while to relax. I hear the door slide open and then shut. I hear feet shuffling to the end of the couch. It's Jimi. Well, now is the time to do it so we have it figured out before we get home. I wait for him to speak before I say anything.
He knows I'm away cause I'm rubbing my stomach,

"How are you feeling?" I stay as I am keeping my eyes closed.
"I feel like an 8 month pregnant woman."
"That's fair... I just... I wanted too..." I open my eyes and look at him. He scratches his head and takes a breathe.
"I want to explain everything."
"You seem awfully eager too a month after the fact." He could tell I gave him sarcasm and a hint of sass.
"Look, I know I haven't been the best husband. But you're not making it easy for me either."
"I'm not making it easy?!" I sit up and look at him "I'm pregnant. You think anything is easy?! And I'm not using the pregnancy as an excuse. But I am pretty sure you promised me in your wedding vows you would love only me."
"I do love you. And the pregnancy isn't an excuse. It's also a factor. I didn't cheat on you. I know what your thinking."
"Then why did you lie? And why wait until now?! A month later?"
"I lied to protect you. And it's been hard for me to find time to talk to you. You haven't been open to talking lately and Kim and Becky are always with you. It's hard to find time alone with you."
"Then find the time. And how could you protect me by lying to me?"
"I went down stairs to find my wallet. I ran into Mark."
"Mark? That's one hell of an excuse."
"It's not. It's the truth. I lost my wallet and I really did run into Mark. We got to talking for a bit and it was kinda awkward. He asked how you were and how the kids have been and stuff."
"Why the hell didn't you tell me? Why didn't you just say you ran into Mark then making me think you cheated all this time?!"
"Cause I know what it looked like. And I told Emily I went for my jacket cause I didn't want you to think I was a Non-responsible for losing my wallet."
"Jimi... I hate you."
"Ya do....?"
"I had you for making me think that! God I love you. I really was hoping you never cheated."
"Never baby. I kept my promise. I'll be with you til I can't no more."
"Then I should tell you this too..."
"What?"
"I knew Mark was there. He found me at the party an hour before we sat down together. I went for a drink and he bumped into me. He then kisses me..."
"He What!?"
"Jimi it ain't what you think. I pulled back right away. He was drunk and it just happened."
"He kissed you?" I nod and Jimi is red.
"Jimi..."
"Did you kiss back?"
"What? No! I pulled away as soon as I knew what he was doin." Jimi Nods And Stands up.
"I'm gonna kill him."
"Jimi please don't be mad."
"I'm not mad at you. I'm just pissed that he would do that. He looked me dead in the eye that morning and I knew something was up. But I didn't pay attention." Jimi hits a wall and I jump. When I did I feel a pain and water running down my legs. Shit. My water just broke.

"Jimi..."
"Karen I'm not mad. I'm gonna go and deal with him the next time I see him."
"Okay but Jimi."
"You can't stop me Karen." And he walks out, Great. My water broke and my husband is on a Man hunt. I think I should be fine until we get to the next venue. By then the soundcheck people have left a day before and are set up. So we gotta do soundcheck when we get there. Shit. No time. Well, I should be fine for a few hours. I was in Labour for a while with both Elijah and Joyce before I had them.